Happy Hour Chatter

I went from hosting nothing over Christmas to hosting both Christmas Eve (my sister Peggy and her family) and Christmas Day (Tom's nephew Robert and his family and potentially my brother Ron).  This all happened within a half hour last weekend.   Oh boy! Lol It's all good.  I've learned to roll with life and repeat my mantra on a daily, if not hourly,  basis, "I will handle every curveball thrown to me with grace and dignity". I'm looking forward to it.  I could never entertain more than 4 people out at the farm, as the house was so small.  I have more room here in town.  I'm also pleased that I can take some of the burden off my sister; I saw how tired she was when she hosted Thanksgiving. So after yoga classes this morning,  I will be hitting the grocery store with list in hand.  Today it's all about the food and beverages.  Tomorrow,  operation cooking and cleaning commences!

Today our facility held it's All Staff meetings, or Warden's meeting.  There was a lot of energy around, and certainly a lot of people in my office as well.  We're also going through a PREA audit, so there's the added energy of that as well.   The food service department provided a meal of chicken tortilla soup and walking tacos for the staff.  It was yummilicious!  I'm trying to keep a handle on my weight and not see any more lbs. hit the scale, but I couldn't help having a little extra soup.    One of my best friends, Vickie, received her 25 year award.  I'm so happy for her.  She's a dedicated lady and takes her work very seriously;  many people can take lessons from her.   She has hit her Rule of 85 (years of service + age), so I suspect that she'll be retiring in the near future.  When she does, they will be hard pressed to find someone to fill her shoes.     Several other staff received th...

People do not realize their words can be 20 times sharper than surgical steel. More so to an individual with intellectual disabilities.  A few kind words or gesture can go a long way towards making them feel appreciated  and understood. But when a carelessly placed or misguided word thrown out to these individuals in jest (or is it?) wounds their soul, the results can be irreparable. It takes a very, very small person to slice someone down with words or even tone of voice.  Respect you because of your authority?  I think not.  Shame. On. You.

I'm encased in my wooly socks and comfy sweatpants and chillin out.  This coming week is a going to be a cold one with single digits for highs and breezy conditions, which will contribute to the wind chills. !  The older I get, (not that I'm old!) the more difficult time I have assimilating myself to the cold.  Dressing in layers will be a necessity - and hugging up to heaters as often as possible.   I have a dentist appointment Wednesday to place a temporary crown on a tooth I broke a week ago.  I'm not thrilled that it'll be $500 out of my pocket at Christmas time, but it could worse.  I could have been a root canal and a crown.  (Twisting negative in to a positive, right?)   Tonight's writing is short and sweet.   My focus isn't on anything in particular and everything in general.  So rather than ramble on about nothing - or everything - I'm going to close it down for tonight.    May all the ...

This is what's on my mind now: Tomorrow is Monday. The weekend wasn't long enough...never is. I did a good job decorating the house for Christmas (simple). I called my brother Ron to check in with him.  It was 3 weeks ago today that Pearl passed.  Seems like forever - and yet just like yesterday.  He's lost still, but coping. Had a great time with friends on Saturday night at The Arts Center play "Love Thy Neighbor". I didn't go outside today, not even to walk.  Shame on me. I fixed a good supper - too much food though.  We'll be eating meatballs and mashed potatoes for a few days. Just talked with Blaine - he's always a bright spot. I need to finish my Christmas shopping next weekend. I inadvertently upset a friend this morning by posting something to my Facebook page about parents needing to teach their children respect, through discipline.  I deleted the post.  Note to self: Keep my opinions to myself. I need to get...

Hard to believe that we're seeing the last day of November on the calendar.   Tomorrow is December 1st. Christmas isn't my favorite holiday.  Although I have treasured memories of Christmas' past while growing up, I haven't gotten overly excited in my adult years.  When asked why, I can't even come up with a good reason...other than its too commercialized for my liking. I see people stressing out about decorating, buying gifts, financial strain, attending numerous concerts and parties, baking, card sending.  It's exhausting, it's stressful and not at all enjoyable, in my opinion. Out at the farm, I haven't decorated for Christmas in 10 or more years.  T is a bona-fide Scrooge and we have no children, so it wasn't a priority. I've dispensed with the Christmas baking (don't need the calories), and done away with the Christmas cards (I'd much rather pick up the phone and call those I care about).  In so far as gift giving, I have only a f...

I'm not a Church attender.  I've always had this ebb and flow relationship with the Church throughout my life.  It draws me in for a period of time, and then the gypsy spirit in me needs to leave.  I'll go back at some point; I always do.  Normally I'm out on my bike on Sunday mornings.   It's where I find time for myself to think, to laugh, cry, shout, smile, dream, hope and Believe.  Today I felt the need to walk.  I bundled up and hit the pavement to the park. It was a brisk 27 degrees, overcast and frosty; absolutely beautiful.  I walked three miles (or 3 times around the park).  It didn't seem like I had gone that far because my mind was so busy thinking through things on the first time around.  The second time around I got outside my head and noticed the beauty around me.  I recited my "I Am Sherry" mantra and slowed down.   The third time through was purely for the sheer joy and love of being outd...

Ever opened up your mouth and said something and instantly regretted it?   Said what's on your mind and in your heart only to see the look on the other person's face and know that they didn't appreciate your candor; it was one of those moments when you should have shut your mouth and kept your words to yourself?   Ya, me too.  Big Time!   I hurt someone deeply by opening my mouth - and vomiting words that should have been best kept unsaid.   And I regret it, so very very much.   I'm afraid that I've done irreparable damage to a relationship  and no amount of apologizing will help the situation.  More than likely it'll hurt it more because of my big mouth.    Honesty is not the best policy in some cases.      

I could have used more time off from work.  But I am here, tackling my inbox and finding some sort of order in the chaos. Yesterday Peggy and I drove to Bismarck to help Ron and Lisa write thank you cards.  It was a good drive there; weather was beautiful and company was nice. Peg and I discovered we haven't really had alone time in quite some time.  The miles flew by so quickly.  In all honesty, we could have driven to Montana and back and still wouldn't have had enough time. Ron seems to be holding up OK, all things considered. As life settles down for him and his kids, I'm sure they'll settle in to a routine...a new normal.  It'll take time though, and I hope the give themselves that. Thanksgiving is this week.  We'll be at my sister Pegs house again this year.  I'm in charge of buns and wine.  I can handle that. Friday is the annual Holiday Parade of Lights.  JRCC is going to try for a 3-Peat in the best float category.   T...

Yesterday was emotional, understandably.  Our family said goodbye to Pearl.  It was a beautiful service and everyone in my family was in attendance with the exception of Dennis, my sister Judy's boy.   As we were at the lunch prior to going to the cemetery, my brother and I both made the comment to family that this is a prime example of why the Schulz Oktoberfest (reunion) needs to keep happening..  Pearl died 3 weeks after the last Oktoberfest.  You just never know what tomorrow holds.  I'm hoping that my nieces and nephews understand that and will make more of an effort to attend. Afterward we went to my brother's house for a small gathering of Pearl's siblings and mine.  There was a ton of food, warm memories of Pearl, laughter and tears.  Ron seemed to be holding up well but he had people around to distract his mind from the thoughts and emotions.  Those will come when the house is quiet and it's just him.  I will be co...

I didn't really want to go to work today; my heart wasn't in it.  But after having two days off last week, I needed to show up and tackle my in-box.  It was a valiant effort with few results.  My mind kept going towards my brother, Ron, and how he was doing.   He and Pearl were inseparable.  Although I was far too young to know it (there's an 18 year age difference between us), I'm told that it was love at first sight when he saw Pearl.  Something very rare these days.   My supervisor informed me that I get three days of bereavement leave.  I'll be taking tomorrow off to go see my brother and his children as they have an informal meeting with the minister to recap the "life of Pearl", a chance for family to share thoughts and memories of Pearl...some of which may be used during the funeral on Thursday. In the meantime, I'm reeling from emotion.   Blogs stalkers, I'm OK.  I'm not going to go down as far as I did w...

My sister Peggy just called with the news that our sister-in-law passed away. My heart is heavy as my thoughts turn toward my brother Ron.  He and Pearl were inseparable. No words right now....only tears.

Today was a difficult day for me.   T and I went out to the farm to finish cleaning out the house.   This should have been done earlier in the summer, but both of us made the decision to enjoy the summer and be outside doing the things that we love doing rather than being inside.   Today was the day.   It's so strange driving out to the farm and walking in to the house that has been my home for the past 25 years.  I miss being out in the country.  The quietness, the privacy, the wide open spaces and yes, even the small, rundown house.   It was all about clearing out the junk and getting things out to the dump.  The main floor and basement are in control with regards to that aspect.  It was the attic that hasn't been given a lot of attention.   We changed that today.   When I moved out to the farm in 1989, everything I had in my possession was stored in the attic.  Other than going to ...

I'm making a concerted effort to write on this blog more often.  For one reason or another, I felt like what I had to say wasn't all that interesting to myself or to others.  So I stopped writing.  But then I found that I missed it.  The chronicling of my daily life - albeit boring - was somehow cathartic.   I don't realize everything that I do, until I read it.  As I read my archives, I can see a definitive shift in moods and thoughts.  I can tell exactly what I was feeling by my choice of words.  I believe, before the Internet, they called this "journaling".   So what am I going to write about today?  I don't have a freaking clue. It's the 12th of November and. for the most part, all is good for me today.  I knew it was going to be a good day because my head wasn't spinning the moment I woke up.  You know....the movie that just doesn't quit.  "I wonder how (insert a name) is doing today", "I have to re...

Today is a sunny day with beautiful temperatures.  I'm getting spoiled with all this natural Vitamin D!  Sure beats clouds and cold temperatures. Today is Election Day in America.   I worry for our country.  No matter who wins, I fear it's going to put our country in to a tailspin.  I just hope we can recover.  Maybe the people will start fighting back and let our voices be heard. Our government is broken, our nation is broken, as is the society within it.  Something needs to happen, and soon.

What does it mean?   The definition I found online says, to become or to cause (something) to become less tense, tight, or stiff : to stop feeling nervous or worried : to spend time resting or doing something enjoyable especially after you have been doing work. I would suppose that it means different things to different people. Some might think to relax is to lay on the couch, watching a program or movie, or reading a book.  Others might find gardening, playing music or taking a walk.  Some may find being with others as relaxing. Me?  I tend to have difficulty sitting still and focusing.  So I need something physical to help me get out of my mind.  I like to bike ride, go to the gym, or even do housework.  (I know, right?!). Yesterday, I had a very relaxing day with my nephew, Blaine.  I took him out for lunch and then for a driv...

Halloween and a  Monday ...what a combination.  A coworker is out on sick leave this week, so I'm pulling double duty with her job on top of mine.  At least I'm busy and don't have time to give in to the thoughts in my head. This weekend was good.  I had Friday off, so got some things done.  Saturday, my friend Donna and I went to the rodeo then out on the town.  We walked to the downtown bars and saw all those out in costume.  It was great to unwind and have fun with her.  Also great running in to peeps that we knew! Sunday was low key.  Woke up with heavy anxiety, so oiled up and said my mantra...then went about cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping.  Headed to Donna's around 1pm for a Reikei session (practice for her), and then sat and talked ..laughed ..and enjoyed a bottle of wine.   (Yes, the whole bottle). 😊 Home for supper and vegged out for the night to gear up for today. 

Blaine came for supper tonight.  Words cannot express how much I love this young man.  The talks we have absolutely astound me.  Blaine recognizes his disability but doesn't use it as a crutch or excuse.  He never has, nor been raised or allowed to.   Tonight he said, "Why?  It doesn't get me anywhere.  The people at work don't care,  the coaches and athletes (UJ) all look past it, and you guys (family), love me no matter what."   Can you say WoW!!? Blaine knows what had work is all about.  He knows the difference between needs ansmd wants, and knows that hard work affords him the "wants" in life.   He's prideful of the work he does in the gym, and also with the UJ.  He recognizes that not everyone is as "lucky" as he is.   Again...Wow! I'm proud of each of my nieces and nephews, and love them all for the people they've become.  But it's no secret that Blaine holds a special place in my life and ...

I'm not enjoying this cool, cloudy Labor Day.   Although I'm indoors doing things like updating my yoga schedule, washing clothes, doing mundane chores...I'd rather be outdoors biking and enjoying an adult beverage while basking in the sun.   Dream on, Sherry.  So, instead, I'm indoors.  I guess it's not all that bad.  I am getting a chance to do some things that I won't have time to do later this week.  I'm hosting a Traveling Vineyard wine tasting party next Saturday, the 10th.  I've always wanted to host one but never had the room to do so.  It should be a good time.  We get to share food, conversation and most importantly - taste new wines.  Hoorah! September is a busy month for me.  I just added 2 special classes for September only.  They're really a test to see if I could make them in to monthly offerings.  I had promised myself that I'd start to slow down a little bit, but I'm having a difficult time...

I got back from my sisters house a while ago where I said, "Until next time" to my nieces Joan, Karen and my new nephew-in-law, David Mackenzie.    Karen and Dave were married Saturday and it truly was a beautiful, simple yet very elegant wedding.  I could give you all the details of the beautiful vintage gown and how gorgeous Karen looked in it - but the words wouldn't do it (or her) justice.    Joan, her sister, looked equally stunning as the matron of honor and certainly saw to her sister's every need and want.  Sadly, the girl's father - Earl - wasn't with us to walk his youngest daughter down the aisle.  He was present in our hearts and minds though; his name mentioned frequently by family and guests alike.   Dave, my nephew, is an amazing young man and joins his brother-in-law, Matthew, in the high-energy, detail, goal-oriented family.  The love each of these young men have for my nieces has not escaped me. It ta...

Surprise!!   Bet you thought I fell off the face of the earth, huh?  Well, blog stalkers...you can relax.  I'm alive! The summer is in full swing and I'm trying very hard to enjoy as much of the sunshine and heat as I can.    It's been a different summer for me.  I live in town now - a huge, HUGE change for me.   For the most part, it's been good.   It takes me 7 minutes to get to work (if I obey the speed limits) and I'm able to spend more time with my friends. We've already had some wine parties at the house.  When the weather cools, there will be fire pit nights out on the patio.  The biggest change for me has been the noise and lack of privacy.  In the country I could walk out on my deck buck nekkid and it didn't matter because no one could see me.  In town, not so much.    I have some very nosey neighbors who like to keep tabs on me.  That part pisses me off.   I'm a ve...

I hit the ground this morning but I wasn't running.  I try to set a good mood for myself, but this morning it wasn't happening. I may still be feeling the effects of my weekend or perhaps it's the mountain of work setting in my in basket that has me in a bit of a snit....either way, I have to put it in perspective and count my blessings I have a job to come too. I have a lot on my plate the next couple of weeks.  I have the long anticipated, anxiety riddled move happening this weekend, correctional workers week activities next week, and artical to write for a publication,cemetery visitations, graduations, and a bridal shower (food) to plan.  Oye! I'm a Virgo, classic, in that I make lists ...Lots of lists...and procrastinate.  But given that I have so much to plan and do, I'm in full on "get er done" mode.  So much so that I'm a bit of a stress mode. So this Manic Monday had me in its grips, but I'm trying hard to conquer it!

While most families were celebrating Mother's Day, I was enjoying a 20 mile bike ride. I have been trying to limit my time on the bike because of all the work I have to do in the houses.  But today was just too beautiful.  I enjoyed every minute...well...most of it.  I thought I had cut in to the Northridge trail past all the step hills.  My mistake.   I managed to catch a few doozies before the trail evened out.  I took the downhills slow....always worried that I'll wipe out and get injured.  I ride alone and am nervous that I'd lay there and nobody would find me.  Anywho...I did walk the bike up the hills.  Darnit.  My legs are strong, but not powerful enough for some of those hills. It was a peaceful ride...just me and my thoughts. I remembered my mother...and cried.  Sometimes a girl just needs her mom...and today I had a moment where I just asked, "please be with me mom." I enjoyed the sun, gentle breeze and alone time...

Today started out with a trip to Valley City to watch Blaine participate in Special Olympics District games.   I made it in time to watch him swim his events - for which he was awarded three blue ribbons for his efforts. He's a very strong swimmer and loves to swim.  What I was impressed with is the way he supports and cheers on the other athletes.  He's right there with a pat on the back and a "high five".   He's an all around great guy and I'm so proud of him. I returned to Jamestown and took my bike out for a 10 mile bike ride.  Not a very long ride but it was exactly what I needed.  I could have gone all day ...but we're still in the moving process. I reluctantly headed out to the farm and loaded up more boxes to go in to the Goodwill store tomorrow during my lunch hour.   It's a good thing to live in abundance....except when moving.  What's left in the house (farm) is either going to be donated or burned.  I was hopi...

I finished watching a series on Netflix early this am.  The ending left me empty and sad.  I became friends with the characters and involved in their lives.  They cried, I cried.  They laughed, so did I.  They loved, my heart did too. The show was written so intricately that it drew me in without realizing it from the very first episode.   Last night I said goodbye...and this morning I'm lost, lonely and reflective of the intensity of emotions I've felt and the thoughts running through my head.  Good thing I can visit them all again with a click of my remote. :)

Today the world lost an iconic musician,  Prince. I was introduced to his music by my college friend and roommate, Sherry Schmitt.  We'd play his album Controversy and jam out...dancing and laughing like there was no tomorrow.  He took Punk Funk in to the mainstream with him movie Purple Rain. I've seen the movie multiple times...and every time I see or hear something new in his music. I have his albums and his music loaded on my ipod.  You can bet I'll be listening to his music all weekend

It's been pretty dark and dreary the past 5 days.  We've gotten much needed rain so I'm sure the farmers are happy. It's not doing much for my mood though.  My medication is helping to keep things (anxiety, depression, sleep) on even footing -if you can call it that. I'd hate to think of how I'd be feeling without medication.  It's almost like a thought enters my head but it doesn't totally register in the feeling department.  Good? Bad?  I don't know.  I do know that I have a weird sense of disconnect. I'm working diligently to catch up on work from being gone for 2 days last week.  I'll be gone Friday and again next Monday and Tuesday. ..use it (vacation) or lose it scenario.  Friday is a bit of a pamper day with reflexology and nails.  I may try and head to Fargo to get my bike serviced so I can hit the trails confident in my bike.  I plan on doing a LOT of riding this summer. ..on and off road. There are a few yoga workshops in Bi...

This resonated with my gypsy soul today. I drove out to Medina to drop off boxes of books and to visit with my sister, Pat. I had the tunes cranked up and sunroof up.  I could have very easily kept driving. My gypsy soul wants to be free..to dream...to dance...to live. "She has the heart of a hippie, the soul of a gypsy, and the spirit of a warrior. It's how she lives, it's what's she does, it's all she's ever known. You see, she remembers the stars from which she came. She's dreamt of places she'd never been and times she's never lived. She transcends time, and space, and starlight, and lifetimes. And the stars, they flicker for her, and the galaxies, they spin for her, and the universe, it breathes through her. She is the compass, she is the magic, and she remembers why she's here. She dances with energy, feels with vibration, paints with light, floats between seconds, and travels with no map. She is the dream that dreams dream."

Some days I'm full of focus,  some days, not so much. Today is a "not so much" day.  The weather has been crappy and, although it's not the dead of winter , I want to hibernate under a mountain of blankets. One could easily surmise it's not the weather, but merely a lack of ambition due to the mounting tasks on the to do list.  Procrastination, perhaps? I have two houses in varying states of disarray.   I stress myself out, not knowing where to turn, what to do next and how it's all going to get done. (Worry...did I mention I suffer from Virgo-induced anxiety?) It'll get done; I know this.  But for today, let me have my dream about escaping reality and finding solace under that cozy pile of blankets.

I'm in purge mode again and it is both cathartic and depressing at the same time.  Everything in this house has memories to either T's parents or grandparents or mine.  I have to close down the emotions otherwise I'm a puddle of goo with every object I touch. It's still going to be at least a month before we're living in the house.  Still too much to purge, pack and move...the thrift stores in town love seeing me drive up. I just want to be done now. 

Here we are, in Owatonna for the annual artifacts show.  It's the one event T looks forward to every year.  This year, not so much.  He wasn't as excited about packing up and going, and neither was I.  But, here we are. He's over talking "rocks" with the guys and I'm in the motel room chilling. I'm looking forward to a nice big glass (or two) of Cab Sauv with dinner tonight.  It's my reward for coming to these things. It's not all bad.  I'll get to see some of the people that we've become friends with over the last 12-15 years.  And when T is off looking at other displays, I'll be watching his display, talking to people who stop, and reading in between.  I brought a murder mystery with me so hopefully I can get in to it.  I haven't been able to read a book in well over a year.  Time is an issue, along with focus. ..I have none. 😕 It's always good to get away for a while,

My day started out sleeping in until 7:30 am.  Yay!   I haven't been sleeping well for a very very long time.   When I visited with my doctor during my physical, we decided that I should try something to help keep me asleep.   I wake up at 2:30 or 3:00 am most nights and rarely fall back asleep.   So, sleeping in until 7:30 is a HUGE thing for me.   I'd made plans to take Blaine out for breakfast so it was off to town to pick up the man and head to Perkins.   Blaine and I haven't had a lot of time together.   It seems that our schedules don't mesh well anymore and I haven't been called upon to give him rides to work (other than the two weeks his parents were gone to Mexico).   So spending time with him is definitely a highlight to my day. We took our time eating - discussing everything from the gym to work and family.  He has a lot to say.  I honestly think that he doesn't open up to a lo...

Yesterday was truly a gift.  The temperature for February 27th was beautiful; I believe it hit 63 here. I had one yoga class, but my second didn't show.  So I called Becky and we went for a walk for an hour. It was positively beautiful and it was great to be able to reconnect with Becky. Brainerd called and invited me to lunch, which means he wanted me to buy lunch cuz he ran out of money. It's alright...it gave me some much needed Blaine time. The plan was to go home and do more purging.  It was too nice.   I changed clothes and went for a bike ride.  A 9.65 mile bike ride that took me to my happy place.  I love it when I can escape from reality and be free of worry or responsibility - if even for a short while.

We were watching an episode of Sons of Anarchy last night.  In that episode, Gemma had to put her father (suffering from dementia) in to a care facility.   The father was pleading with her, "I want to go home," "Don't leave me here"  "I don't want to stay".    Gemma broke down crying.   And so did Tom. He was sobbing .  I stopped the show and went over to him and asked him what was wrong.   He said that was the exact same thing that happened to him and Ella.   She would plead with him to take her home every time he visited with her - and that he felt he was responsible for her death. I've always felt that he hadn't dealt with her death - grieved - as he jumped right in to "executor of the estate" mode, then bought the house and started demolition within days.   Last night he said that while living in town is a good idea (due to his age, health, my working in town, etc.), buying her house wasn't the best idea ...

At some point, the house will be ready.  Not sure that I will be, but I'm going to have to be, like it or not. We've gone furniture shopping.  I don't have a decorative bone in my body, so can't visualize how things might look.  T and I have very different tastes and ideas.  At one point he even said, "well Mom had it like this".   Not a smooth move. It took several deep breaths to let that one go.  We haven't ordered anything yet, but will soon.  Next agenda item is ordering blindes for the windows.  I think we're in agreement there. I took March 3 and 4th off to clean...hoping that all the work will be done in the house.  It'll be a full year on March 21st that we've been dealing with all of this. I'm tired and just want to move forward with the next chapter of life...whatever that brings. I'm looking forward to being able to spend time with friends.  Roles will be reversed as Tom will be driving out to the farm to take care...

My friend Donna and I went to Fargo to visit our friend, Lance, in the hospital.  He just had surgery on his mouth for cancer.  He's going to be out for a while, but unfortunately doesn't have any leave built up.  I'm hoping I can donate to him and help him out a little. We took his wife, Sarena, also friend and coworker out for dinner so she could have a break from the hospital. She's a tough lady.  Their family has gone through so much....they need a break.  Donna and I had a great time and a heart to heart talk about life, relationships, hopes, dreams.  She's in my circle of "besties" and perhaps understands me the most. Relationships are always evolving, changing, and I feel that I'm fortunate to have Life Walkers....those certain few who will be with me through my life time...through thick and thin.  I know that there will be times they fade in and out due to their life circumstances. The most important thing to remember is that the heart bond...

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my mother-in-law's death.   It was an emotional day for me.  This last year - the last chapter - of my life has taken so many twists and turns.  The emotional turmoil that I've been through is - and has been - overwhelming.   It's brought  me to my knees too many times - more than I care to admit.    But I've survived yet another storm. I'm not the same person I was a year ago.  I've come through another fire, another chapter, in my life.   I didn't break.  Am I stronger?  I don't know.   I feel...different.  Less open, less optimistic, more realistic. Which is sad, actually.   I've always been a "life through rose colored glasses" type of gal.  Now, I'm not.  I have some heart scars that will heal (or soften) in time.  But here's the thing... I know that there are many more chapters in my life that wi...

Sometimes, in conversations, you need to listen to the unspoken words.  They can speak volumes. I've always been a face value person, but recently have had so many conversations that, when the light bulb finally turned on, the true meaning of the words were in what wasn't being said. Some may say that my head is thinking too much, or that paranoia has set in.  I don't believe this to be true.  What I believe is most people want to avoid confrontation and pain.  Rather than speak what is on their minds, they'll tell you what you want to hear.  But a keen eye will watch actions, timing of spoken words, and be able to get the gest of what is implied. Example:  So, "what are you up to?" Sounds like a person is interested in you.  But when that question is paired with "I haven't seen you around much"  one might detect the person is really saying, "you sod!, you're too busy to give me a call?" It's actually quite interesting and v...

I'm not quite sure how to close off my heart to protect it from negative people and their energy.  I pride myself on living with an open heart, helping others through their struggles.  But sometimes a person enters my path that has nothing but dark energy and negativity. They suck the life right out of me.  I need to armour up and protect myself so I'm not so vulnerable to their darkness. I've been trying to say quiet, but their vibrations overload my senses.  I'm drained at the end of the day.  Obviously that strategy isn't working. A friend who also feels energy said she "pulls a curtain" over herself and doesn't react with any words or emotions that would "open the doorway" to them. I'm going to try to visualize that and see if it works.  Worth atry.

Here it is, the end of January.  Where did the time go? Seems like I blink and another day is gone.  Not a bad thing when it's the work week, but dangit - I'd sure like these weekends to stick around a bit longer. Saturday was an especially long day for me.  Two yoga classes in the morning, time with my friend/stylist Eva in the afternoon, an hour with my friend Donna's house, then another yoga class at The Arts Center.  This was a "Yoga and Wine" event that I thought I'd try out and see how it goes.  This type of things goes over well in Fargo, but here?  Well, I had 10 people for the first time out.   Yay me!   My original arrangement was to do a 60/40 split with the Arts Center, but I ended up giving all the proceeds to the Arts Center.  It made me feel good to do that and it helps them out too.   I'd like to try doing another one in the summer - perhaps in the Arts Park.  I'll discuss it with the director in the futu...

Today the sun was out and it actually  got up to 41. The wind was blowing but I didn't mind.  What a wonderful reprieve from the dark, gray days we've been having. If makes me hopeful that we'll be having a fairly nice spring.  Perhaps even an early one? That's what gets me smiling.   Warmer weather, and the prospect of being outside more! The house in town is still a work in progress.  Hopefully by the middle of Feb. we'll be able to clean and start moving stuff in slowly.  I'm tired of hanging in limbo and just want it done already. It'll be a change for sure, but in some aspects I'm looking forward to it.  I will be in town and able to do more things with my best friends.  And more bike riding time!  (In theory) Changes are happening all the time.  Some good, some bad.  Some take getting used to, others I try to deal with the best way I know how...which usually involves going to the gym to destress.  It's my coping...

Got some serious gym time in today. I didn't want to go, but new I needed to.  I was right. I hit the elliptical for 45 min, did weights and abs.  Tunes were blaring and sweat was dripping.  I felt 10 ft tall and free.

Sometimes life takes you on the straight path.  Sometimes there's a lot of twists and turns.  It's those times of twists and turns that we need the strongest Faith that everything is as it should be, and Believe with all your heart. Some days it's easier said than done.  I continue to handle curveballs thrown in my direction on a daily basis;  sometimes it's hourly. I try to deal with them with grace and integrity.   And remember that each day is a new day....hopefully better than the last. Hope...Faith...Believe. 

When we're young we take it for granted.  As we age, we begin to notice that, hmmm...I should start paying more attention to diet and exercise. I'm often criticized for my health or exercise regime.  My diet can always be better and I can always do more exercise.  Who couldn't? I'm stepping up my game for 2016.  Better health, mentally and physically.  More days in gym for cardio, more time on my bike (can't wait#), lighten up, laugh more, have more fun, be more positive and worrry less!  The other thing I'm ready for? Spending quality time with my best friends.  They are the people who have proven themselves to me time and time again.  I can always count on them...and I hope they know they can count on me! So watch out world...ready or not...here I come#

Some days a person wants a little down time.   Time to deflate, regroup, and set a game plan for the upcoming week.   That's what I wanted today, but haven't gotten.  Yet.   Slept in until 7:30 am,, which is HUGE for me.  Normally my internal body clock has me up and going by 6 am on my off days.  I forced myself to sit, drink coffee, read a chapter in my book (I know!!  I'm trying to get my mind to quiet down enough to read again!), then hit the ground running at 8:30.  Cleaning, laundry, organizing, put a roast in the crock pot then set out to the gym.  Ya, I drove in to town to hit the gym...in sub-zero temps.  Either I'm committed or crazy.   Well, it's one of the things that I promised myself for 2016 - Step up the game at the gym and start taking better control of my health - physically as well as mentally.  For you blog stalkers, I'm doing much better on the mentally part - still have my bad ...

Today's post in summation : thank gawd it's Friday tomorrow!

I had high hopes that 2016 would arrive and people would want to start the new year in a better frame of mind.  Boy, was I delusional! My resolution for 2016 is to lighten up and not worry so much.   One day back at work and already I can tell that it's going to take a lot of self-talk, each and every hour of the work day, to make that happen.  That, and going to the gym to relieve stress. I went to the gym tonight and felt like a newbie.  Good lord, I felt like a weakling after having a week off.  As usual, I was a little hard on myself and upset that I couldn't lift 30# on my last set. Nick was amazing and told me to "put it in perspective."  So here I am, day 5 of 2016 and I can honestly say, "I wish I was still on vacation."  :)

I'm writing this up on the plane.  Donna and Vickie are sleeping ..ok...theyre both awake and saying "we're not sleeping!" Geeez! Lol  And I'm reflecting on my trip with these two wonderful ladies. Our spirit guides definitely brought us together for this trip.  We had some amazing time together. We shared amazing food, drink, gambled, laughs and some tears too. The bond of our friendship was strengthened as we opened up with each other.  The experience of Las Vegas was only enhanced by the presence of these two ladies. I look forward to many more good times with them..be it monthly get togethers or bigger trips.  And let me not forget to say thank you to Char Schmitt.  I'm sure she's up in heaven saying "Well done, ladies."

It's 6 am in Las Vegas.  I'm thinking about everything we've done here and how relaxed I've been. I've not worried about anything back home...until now. It's safe to say.....I don't want to go home.

Today started out with breakfast in the room...booze..at 830 am.  What a way to start the day! We did some gambling  (slots) then hit the Strip! We toured Caesars Palace and the Bellagio.  I can't believe the opulence!  Again, I'm grateful that I'm a beer and pretzels type of girl.  It makes me appreciate everything that I work for.  We're spending our last night having some drinks,  eating some amazing food and hitting the Casino floor. My friends have been amazing and if the this trend continues, 2016 just might be amazing! #hopeful

The day started slow.  Go figure! Lol Yes, a little alcohol the day before slowed us up a little.  But a hot shower got the cobwebs out and away we went.  We found Mimosas for breakfast and that set the tone for the day. Vickies brother was in town and he chauffeured us around Las Vegas showing us points of interest.  We went through the Venetian, the  Palazzo and the Wynn.  The Wynn definitely let me know that I'm not made of money.  Holy Cow!!  But that's ok.  Give me, beer, peanuts and Target and JCPenny any day! Funny moment!  We quickly discovered that they charge an arm and a leg for less than (ND) standard drinks.  In our tour we found a liquor store and stalked up.  Unfortunately we had to carry it through a casino. Lol. 

Freaking Amazing!  Is all that I can say!.  We arrived safely, found our room and proceeded to explore.  The people were amazing and VERY high energy! New Years on the Strip was Out. Of This World!!  The lights, the police, the music, the energy kept us going on our 20 hour day.   We didn't get tired until 1 am Vegas time.  Then we crashed hard!!  Happy New Year!