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We were watching an episode of Sons of Anarchy last night. In that episode, Gemma had to put her father (suffering from dementia) in to a care facility. The father was pleading with her, "I want to go home," "Don't leave me here" "I don't want to stay". Gemma broke down crying. And so did Tom.
He was sobbing . I stopped the show and went over to him and asked him what was wrong. He said that was the exact same thing that happened to him and Ella. She would plead with him to take her home every time he visited with her - and that he felt he was responsible for her death.
I've always felt that he hadn't dealt with her death - grieved - as he jumped right in to "executor of the estate" mode, then bought the house and started demolition within days. Last night he said that while living in town is a good idea (due to his age, health, my working in town, etc.), buying her house wasn't the best idea because every time he walks in to the house, he thinks of her.
I didn't know quite what to say. All I could do was listen and try to console him that his mother's death was in no way as a result of him putting her in to the nursing home.
Anything I said regarding the house would just add salt to his raw heart, so I didn't say it. But it's what I've been thinking all along. It was his way of dealing with his grief.
He was sobbing . I stopped the show and went over to him and asked him what was wrong. He said that was the exact same thing that happened to him and Ella. She would plead with him to take her home every time he visited with her - and that he felt he was responsible for her death.
I've always felt that he hadn't dealt with her death - grieved - as he jumped right in to "executor of the estate" mode, then bought the house and started demolition within days. Last night he said that while living in town is a good idea (due to his age, health, my working in town, etc.), buying her house wasn't the best idea because every time he walks in to the house, he thinks of her.
I didn't know quite what to say. All I could do was listen and try to console him that his mother's death was in no way as a result of him putting her in to the nursing home.
Anything I said regarding the house would just add salt to his raw heart, so I didn't say it. But it's what I've been thinking all along. It was his way of dealing with his grief.
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