Frustrated

Sometimes I have frustrations...okay...a LOT of the time.   I try to work through them as best I can.  I may vent from time to time but Im typically not a constant whiner ...more of a "take charge and fix it" type of gal.

So, some of my frustrations, lately, have been with whiners.  You know ..the ones that could find fault with winning the lottery.

I may be positive or overly optimistic 90% of the time...and perhaps I piss off the debbie downers too....but gawd! I'd rather be a bright light than someone who sucks energy out ya.

Just sayin!

#nodramazone #changeyourtude #findthelight

Tis The Season

I think I am ready...for the most part.   I have gifts all taken care of, I just need an afternoon to wrap everything up...literally.   I'd gladly pay someone to wrap presents for me...cuz I'm horrible at it.   But, it's the thought that counts, right?

So today starts the 12 days of Christmas.  There will be a whole lot of stuff packed in to the next couple of weeks and it's going to be fun.

Tomorrow night I'm meeting with friends (current and former) for a few drinks at the Grille.  Then Saturday night we're going to the new Star Wars movie with Tom's nephew and his family.   Sunday is a baby shower for a family friend and co-worker.   Somewhere in there I'll find time to work out, in addition to teaching two yoga classes, and wrap presents, deliver gift cards, do laundry and wash dishes.  I'm superwoman....right?

Next week I'll be teaching on my regular yoga schedule, but then I'm taking a break for a few days from my yoga studio until the week after January.  It will be a welcome break, both mentally and physically.

I'm looking forward to hosting Christmas Eve with my sister Peggy, Karen and Merle.  We'll be missing Dave, Joan and Matt, of course...but there will always be next year. 

Christmas Day we will have Tom's nephew Robert and his family over.  

It will be a good Christmas .....

Much to say...

...but words eccape me.

So happy to have spent some time with my niece,Joan, when she was home this past weekend.  Seriously looking forward to her moving back to MN!   Then she and Karen better watch out, I'll be visiting often.

My heart goes out to a co-worker embarking on medical treatment.  It's  going to be a fight, but I promised I'd take each step with her...and I will.

Sometimes I feel the inner circle of friends is swiftly changing direction on me.  It's a struggle to be the social coordinator cuz everyone is uber busy...but I do what I can.

The president is a bafoon and he's going to take this country right in the tank; he a already has.  Someone needs to wake up fast and start talking impeachment and start soon!  (My blog, my opinion...if you don't agree, don't read.  Youre entitled to your opionion, please respect mine).

Society needs to get a grip and get back to the basics of being human. I feel sorry for us...where has our integrity gone? 

#noanswersonlyprayers

Adulting

Adulting is difficult on most days, but on days when you're already hanging on by the fingernails, it truly is not necessary to hang on to my feet and pull me down.

We've all been there.  You're cruisin through your morning, doing the positive brain framing, you've got your shit "handled" for the most part.  

Then....it happens.

You know, the comment said with a sarcastic tone, the if looks could kill "look", the micro managers, the egotistical control freaks that dont believe anything can be done correctly unless they do it.

Or, the spousal unit keeps calling, asking "did you do (insert task here) yet?"  Hmmmm, lemme see....not since you called me 15 minutes ago.  But let me drop everything Im working on at my job and get right on that honey.

We all have that one little trigger or hot button...the one that fires you up faster than one of the Donald's Tweets. 

You're lying if you say you don't!  And if you truly go through life without ruffled feathers, then God Bless You and give me the name of your therapist....or wine

Ahh, the sweet joys of adulting!

Weekend

I am in Fargo this weekend to attend a Pilates certification.   I know...Yoga, now Pilates?  

I've been teaching Yoga for 10 years.  I've been very happy teaching Yoga, but the last year or so I've felt the need to do more....different...to change it up a bit.  So, Pilates it is. 

I'm enjoying the class/certification and am already looking forward to bringing my knowledge in to my studio, as well as Anytime Fitness.  I'll need to reconfigure my class formats and schedules, but I think it will be well received.  (I hope).

I've also been enjoying some clothes shopping.  I must say, it's been sorely needed.  I haven't had a shopping spree in four years, so cost wise, it's been good.   I picked up items that will go well for work as well as leisure.

I also visited the Barnes & Noble bookstore.  Oh my gosh...I love that store.   I stocked up on a few authors, which should get me through the winter months.  Hopefully :)

The downtime has been good too.  Even though I'm in Fargo and there is tons to do, I'm still quite content to stay in the hotel room and just relax.  

I'll be headed home tomorrow, after I make a trip to see my brother in law in the hospital. 

But for now, I'm relaxing, studying, drinking a little wine (yes, I brought a bottle with me), and studying (I still need to pass testing tomorrow!)

Reading

I had the opportunity to have a psychic medium do a reading on me last night.   Actually, it was a small intimate gallery reading with 9 other individuals; I knew most of them.  The organizer of the event wanted to keep it small and intimate so that everyone was guaranteed a reading.

The medium, Dean, introduced himself and explained a little about how he became or acknowledged that he had this gift.   He stated that he usually starts with a presence that is making itself known to him and whomever (in the gallery) validates the presence is the beginning of the gallery reading and he'll go around the room.  He also stated that when he reads others in the room, some things said to them may resonate with us - if we are meant to hear them. 

He had written down a few notes on his tablet and stated he'd start with the first one, which was a man in his mid  70's, a butcher or someone who cut up meat, worked with knives in a kitchen - and did anyone know of or could validate this presence.

I knew immediately that it was my dad.  I spoke up said yes, that's my father.  

Dean then came to stand in front of me to begin my reading.   He asked if dad worked in a meat market or butcher shop.   I replied no, dad was a farmer but used to butcher every fall in our "garage kitchen".   Dean smiled. 

He then went on to ask if dad liked candy ....he's making an odd smacking of the lips or clicking sound....did he like licorice? 

Yep....dad loved black licorice.    Dean smiled.

He  then asked if I was a nurse or caregiver, or executor of some kind.   I replied no.

Dean went on to ask if I saw Eagles a lot.  I replied no.   He said, "you father is manifesting himself as an Eagle...perhaps you are unaware, but pay attention when you see one.  In fact, his presence tonight isn't much of a surprise to you is it, because you feel him.  It's almost as if you ask 'do you need anything dad' when you get up to go the kitchen.  

I teared up on that one, I could only nod my head

Dean went on to say that the Archangel Michael was also present and a bright blue light was around me.   

He  then gave me my message from Dad; "Your dad is patting you on the head, telling you that you are doing good  as caretaker and he is proud of you,  You are there for a reason."  

He went on to explain in an analogy " when everyone leaves, you are left to pick up the tab or the pieces;  when the check comes to the table, everyone leaves and leaves it to you to take care of."   Do you understand?   

He said more, but all trying to process it all I'm afraid I didn't quite catch it.  

He left me and went on to the next person.   During one of the other readings, he stated that he saw a man in a flannel or plaid shirt, who liked sardines or oysters in a can and ate then with saltine crackers.   The person getting the reading didn't validate the presence, but I knew that was my father and that there was another message for me to hear. 

I've been thinking about the message and all it means or could mean to me.  I wished that I had stayed longer and asked questions of him.    

But for now, I'm smiling because my dad sent me a message. 

Musings

Lunchtime musings of a working superwoman: 1) enthusiasm is contagious 2)don't believe everything you think 3) Of course I will lose a glove of a set I've worn only  once 4) lead by example 5) right now there is someone in the world judging me without knowing me or my story 6) I could care less 7) I am in need of comfort food 8) if a question is asked of you that is of a person nature and you'd rather not answer, reply with "why do you Need to know?"...stops them dead in their tracks every time 😉 9) sometimes you just need a big bowl of ice cream to put things in perspective.  Or wine.  Wine works too 10) I just don't like this weather

Conversation

I just came back from picking Blaine up from work and taking him home.   I took a different route home, past the Jamestown Business Center. 

As we drove past, Blaine leans over and says "That's your old apartment."   I said, "Yep".  

He goes on to say "He wasn't very nice to you." 

Me: "John?"

Blaine:  "Yep.  He wasn't very nice to you."

Me:  "You didn't like John."

Blaine:  "Nope.   I didn't.  I wouldn't come around until he was gone."

Me:  "You remember John?"

Blaine:  "Yep.  Grandpa and Dad didn't like him."

Me:  "They were right....so were you...he wasn't a very nice man"

Blaine:  "I won't let anyone hurt you like that again"

Me:  "Thank you Blaine, that means the world to me"


Blaine was very, very young when I was married to John.   I do not know if his conversation tonight was a result of his own feelings, or the feelings or conversations he heard between Terry and my Dad.   But for him to spontaneously bring this up in conversation was a bit unnerving to me.

I haven't thought of John in a while.   But now that his name was brought up, my thoughts turn to him and our marriage, brief that it was.   

You're right Blaine...he wasn't a nice man.  

Chilly Sunday

Greetings Blog Stalkers!

I don't know about you all, but I could do with a little less wind these days!  Holy Smokes!  

I've just finished writing/addressing invitations to my niece (and Goddaughter) baby shower, which I am hosting (along with her other Godmother) in November - which is just around the corner.   I cannot wait to see her!  She'll be home for a bit around Thanksgiving  then I may not see her again until after the baby is  born in January.  I'm uber excited to welcome baby LarBeck in to our family!

Speaking of family, we had our annual Schulz Oktoberfest last weekend.  The usual suspects showed up and once again, life was busy for those that could not make it yet again this year: Randy, Dennis. Michael, Joan, Karen and Wendi.    I understand completely how life can be, but every year I hope that those who can make it, make it.

What's been going on with me since the last post?

Well, let's see.....  

1) Work has been busy due to the fact that a co-worker has been ill and in the hospital quite a bit since the end of September.   I hope and pray that she is able to kick whatever is wrong with her (Doctor's aren't quite sure yet).  In the meanwhile, it's double duty for me and my other office co-worker.  In one respect it's good as it makes the days fly by quickly.  In other respects, it adds another layer of work on top of  an already full workload.   I'll survive and will gladly handle the added work.  I just want MM to get better.

2)  T is still dealing with his brother who is in the hospital - ICU - and has been since Sept. 12th.  He's still on a trachea and cannot seem to understand that the only thing keeping him on the trachea is himself.  He gets agitated and disgruntled and wants to pull the thing out, his hearbeat rises, his bp rises  and his ventilation goes through the roof.  Then they sedate him with this one drug that knocks him out....and then he's back to square one.  Stubborn!!   (I have a stronger word to use but out of respect for the ill,   I wont use it here.).    This, of course, is putting great stress on T.  (I believe I said that in earlier posts).  I am an in-law and try to keep my opinions to myself, but its difficult when I see the stress that it puts on T.     

3)  I am looking at making some changes to my yoga classes.  I've been doing the same thing for 10-11 years now and it's time to shake things up.  I can't and won't say that I'm going to stop teaching yoga - but I will say that I   am in need of a change as much for myself as for others.  Two of my students have gone on to become yoga teachers.  I'm so proud of them and all that they have become.  They are truly amazing women....and I'm glad that I've had a part in sparking their yoga journey.   So, if you're one of my students reading this...stay tuned.  Details to come later.  ;)

4)      I've kicked it up in the gym.  Boy, have I kicked it up!  My trainer has me on the AF app that allows him to tap in to food diary, send me  3 personalized workouts a week as well as 3-5 motivational texts.  It's an awesome way for him to ride my ass.  LOL   All is good until he checks my food diary....oh boy!    On Thursday nights, after I finish training with him,  I stay for the H.I.I.T  and the Total Core classes.  Love them!   With winter coming up and the being driver for Blaine, I don't know how much longer I can attend them, but for now I'm enjoying them.

5)  I'm doing good.  I still have issues with anxiety and letting my head (thoughts) get away from me from time to time.  But I believe that I've found healthy, constructive ways to deal with things....first and foremost being physical activity.   I have a wonderful group of friends who help to keep me focused and grounded.  I am not as worried about the winter S.A.D (Seasonal Affecttive Disorder) either as I have a plan for that too.  Snowshoeing!  I've come to realize it's not the lack of sunlight so much as the freedom of being outside.  In the summer , I'm outside as much as possible....winter, not so much.  So this year, that is going to change - at least that is the plan for now.  That  all might change when I get out there and do the actual snowshoeing!  LOL  Blaine, the Special Olympics Snowshoeing medalist, has even agreed to help me. (Hopefully he won't laugh too much!)

6)  Politics.  Anyone that knows me, knows that I don't talk much about politics or religion.  They're two subjects that I keep opinions to myself as I don't want to alienate anyone.  I'm even hesitant to write my opinions on my blog.  But what I will say is this.....this country is headed down a slippery slope and now more than ever, the people need to rise up and take control.  And if  President Trump leads us in to war with N. Korea.....God Help Us!

7)  Friends.  A alluded to friends earlier in #5.   I can't say enough about them.   Some I see often, some I see infrequently, but all are in my heart.   I don't know what I'd do without them...nor do I want to find out.  As one said to me last week, "together we can get through anything, as long as we have each other."  Yes,  Yes We Can!!!    

8)   In just a few short weeks, it'll mark the 1st year anniversary of my sister-in-law's (Pearl) passing.  My brother is living life, but he misses her tremendously.  Our Schulz Oktoberfest just wasn't the same without her.  And it was a stark reminder on how fast things can turn around in life.  All the more reason to live life large!

Well, so much for a just a quick post.  ;)     It's fall/winter....so I'll have more time to sit down and think about things to write about and actually have time to write.   Who knows what my mind will come up with.  

Until next time....

~Sherry~

So What's New?

I haven't written in quite a while, but that's OK...I've been living life.  :)

So what's new? 

Well, I turned 55 on September 9th.  On that day, I was traveling back from a trip to Nashville.  What an amazing time that was.   I managed to do some sightseeing, ate some wonderful food, attended the Grand Ol Opry (center stage, row 2!) and fell in love with Tennessee Teas!  (Yes, I got the recipe and will be trying them out!).   I met my friend, Rick and his wife Dara, for brunch and drinks.  That was perhaps the highlight of the trip....catching up with a good friend.  Of course, traveling with Georgia was a riot.  She always has me in stitches!  

Just this last weekend I, along with 3 other friends, spent the weekend at The Palmer House is Sauk Center, MN.  Oh my gosh!  What fun that was.  There was a group of about 15 of us - all either working at JRCC or affiliated with someone who works there.   We all experienced some sort of paranormal activity at one time or another.  It was an experience and one that I won't soon forget.   In fact, I'm looking forward to a repeat trip - if one is planned.  I'm not a ghost hunter, by any means, but I did enjoy the time away with friends.  

To say that I've fallen short of my 400 mile goal is an understatement.  I managed 200 miles prior to leaving for Nashville - and I haven't been on my bike since.  I'm disappointed, but I also know that it is  what it is.  I'll still get out few more times before the snow flies, hopefully.  Although I love summertime riding, fall is actually the best time.   Next year, I'll set another goal, and I will hit that one!

I've enjoyed my summer too much and it's showing on the scale.  I'm bumping up against that 5 lb weight gain.  I refuse to gain more.  So, I'm stepping up my gain in the gym.  I'm training hard with Nick and have started taking some additional classes at AF - HIIT and Total Core.   I've also started logging my food in MyFitnessPal and watching my macro nutrients.   It's all a process, but I'm determined to be a healthy 55 year old!  

On the home front, we're dealing with a bit of stress.  T's brother was hospitalized in ICU in Fargo three weeks ago.  He's been on a ventilator.  Without going on through all the sordid details, I'll just say that his hospitalization has put T in a bit of a tizzy.  My sister-in-law, whom I met for the first time 3 weeks ago, is a wonderful lady.  Wayne's daughter is here from Kentucky now, visiting her father.  I'm sure she's concerned for her father in her own special way.  They've had a very limited relationship throughout the years.  

So, I'm just hanging out, living each day as it happens...living life, being healthier, more focused and ..being me....or the best me I can be.  

Hello September

Well goodness....the last time I checked in was quite a while ago.  Summer was in full swing and I was enjoying every moment of it. 

Fast forward to today, September 1st.  Wow.  Time sure does fly!  Most of you know I'm a flip flop, tank top, sunroof open, sunshine loving gal. I live for the sun.  But I also love the fall.  There is something about the downshift, the shorter days and yes, even the cooler weather that makes you go ahhhhh.

My summer was good in a lot of ways.  I managed to plant flowers and keep them alive through the heat even (whick is a huge feat for me), although a few of them have perished at my hands.

I had some great times with friends on my patio, rode my bike (yes, Im still on my quest  to ride 400 miles) when I could and even took a spur of the moment trip to Duluth with the hubs. (What a fun place!)

I turn 55 in eight days and Im giving myself an early birthday present...a trip to Nashville!  The opportunity presented itself, thanks to a dear friend, and I took it.  I leave Tuesday and come back on my birthday.  What am I going to do while Georgia is at her conference?  Relax!!  The only thing I have planned is to visit with an old college friend on Thursday.  Otherwise its R & R for me.  Maybe poolside with a book  and a fru-fru drink with a pink umbrella in it!

At any rate, Im taking this trip for me....no worries, no stress, no schedules.

So Hello September...another month...I wonder what it holds.

Exhale Slowly

Sometimes I get ahead of myself.  I over think the crap out of situations and let worry and anxiety take a hold of me.  My heart feels heavy, shoulders burdened and my head feels like it's in a vice grip.    I know this about myself and yet some days I'm powerless to stop the train wreck in my mind.   It never used to be this way. 

There are a series of events happening in my life that I cannot control.  Things that will ultimately affect me in the long run.  I cannot change those outcomes by worrying about them.  But as a dear friend just said to me, "I have faith in you, so breathe deeply, exhale slowly, and repeat if necessary."  So very, very true!   The Universe will show it's hand eventually - I just need to trust in it and learn to roll with whatever cards it throws me.

Today wasn't a good day for me.  I was busier than crap at work, playing catch up.  Although I was busy, my mind still had time to play - to worry and cause anxiety and stress.  My saving grace was that I was able to talk to a friend and let off some steam.  And, I hit the gym.  Nick, once more, saw me in full blown anxiety mode.  And once more, he helped me work through it.  I don't know what I'd do without working out at the gym, yoga or bike riding.  It's been my salvation more often than not.  I told Nick that I was feeling and that I knew that the gym was exactly where I needed to be, and that I needed to use the stress and anxiety to step it up a notch.  His response?  "Use the force.."   Yes Nick...yes I will.  :)

Blaine stopped over tonight and had supper.  We talked.  He has a few anxieties of his own.  I'm glad that I was in a better frame of mind so that I could help him talk through his.  It was his birthday yesterday -(also my sister Peggy's) - and he received a Fitbit Blaze from his parents for his birthday present.  As his father left for Germany, I was tasked with helping him set up his Fitbit.  I've said it a 1,000 times and I'll say it a 1,000 more - he is the light of my soul.   Blaine and I have a tight bond, we always will.   I know it's not fair to my other nieces and nephews, and I hope they understand.  I don't love them any less...it's just the bond I have with Blaine goes back to when he was a baby and I held him on my chest while he was sleeping as I was babysitting him. 

I hope I was able to help him a little bit.  In truth, he helped me. 

So tonight I am continuing to breathe deeply, exhale slowly, and repeat as necessary. 

Weekend Update

Well hello, blog stalkers!   Hope your weekend has been exactly as you've planned.   As usual, I'm writing this on a Sunday.  I always have good intentions of updating my blog on a daily basis, but fall short of the goal.  So much life going on. 

Summer is in full swing, although today you wouldn't know it.  It's a balmy 62, cloudy and breezy  in the northland.  That didn't stop me from going on a 22.80 mile bike ride this morning.  I didn't intend to go that far, but the legs felt good and I was in the mood to ride.  I was ten miles in to the ride when my chain slipped off.  Not what you want to happen when you're riding in town, let alone out at Pipestem Dam...but I was able to get it back on and continued on my ride.  It was actually my first time out at the Pipestem.  I can't believe it took me until the end o June to get out there.  Pipestem holds a special place in my heart and I love it out there.  Today may have been the first time out there, but it won't be the last this summer/fall.

I had friends over to the house last night for drinks, dinner and a Netflix movie.  It was supposed to be a patio party with grilling and a fire pit, but the wind was horrendous and it was cold...so we moved it inside.  It was a great time - as always- with the ladies.  I'm hoping to do more of those throughout the summer - weather cooperating.  

Work is going ok, for the most part.   Just when everyone is seemingly working together as a cohesive unit, something (or someone) always seems to cause a rift and morale goes down the tubes.  It makes it hard to walk in to work in the morning.  I love my job and the work I do. I can generally roll with whatever happens, but lately it's getting harder and harder to do.  Handling the personalities, trying to be upbeat and a peacekeeper at work is difficult.  Working in a prison is difficult; the energy is dark and draining - but it's made worse when coworkers can't play nice.  But go to work I must - the benefits (health insurance) are needed - especially since T is on Medicare and needs my insurance as a supplement.  

This upcoming week/weekend is the Stutsman County Fair.   I may be almost 55, but I'm a kid at heart when it comes to the Fair.  I'm sure that I'll be making an appearance at least a few nights.  I know that T wants to go to the Rodeo at least one night as well.   And even more importantly, we'll be getting the customary foot long hotdog.  It is ALL about the food!

 

What is one to say about June, the time of perfect young summer, the fulfillment of the promise of the earlier months, and with as yet no sign to remind one that its fresh young beauty will ever fade. ~Gertrude Jekyll

Lunchtime Musings of a Working Superwoman

Lunchtime musings of a working superwoman:
1) sometimes people are afraid to hear the truth as it causes them to face their own truth
2) if you think you're perfect and above reproach, think again.... we All have our issues,
3) sometimes criticism really is meant to be helpful, but it depends on the delivery,
4) seasoned veterans are called that for a reason...they've been through the muck in the trenches.  They know the score.  Listen to what they have to say,
5) talk is cheap, but it takes money to buy whiskey,
6) don't ever forget where you came from...we were all peons once,
7) when in doubt,  don't assume...Ask...communication really IS a good thing.  Really.,
8) sometimes you do really need to give a shit! Go out on a limb and stand up for what you believe in.  Don't let anyone quiet your voice or break your spirit
9)life isn't fair...if it were, there would be peace, love and harmony everywhere.  Let your character and integrity speak loudly. Make sure you've thought about the lesson you've just been handed and take every opportunity to learn from it
10) my musings are observations and opinions of mine...they're directed towards NO ONE.  However, if you feel I'm speaking to you or about you, I refer you back to #7.

5 Am Wake Up Call

The world is a bit different at 5 am.  It's quieter.  Less people milling about, less wind, less chaos.

I like this place and time.  It allows me to be my authentic self.  My soul is mine, my smile (or frown), comes truly from within and is unmared by influences of others.  My mood ..is simply mine. Unapologetic.

I can be free and uninhibited because no one is around to judge, to criticize,  to laugh or point.  People can be so cruel at times, can't They? Who are they anyways, these humans who dare to impose their will on others?  Insignificant.

I like this time...this awakening of the day, mind, and body.  Thoughts spread like wildfire across the blank, tired canvas of the mind.  The agenda a myriad of possibilities, hopes and dreams.  Some dashed before 510, others gain steam as the seconds become minutes.

Muscles make themselves heard throughout the little nuances of movement....moaning and groaning their response  to the gentle urgings of the awakening mind and body.

The breath, calming as it matches pace with the lazy heartbeat....steady, rythmec and determined.  Lifesource.

I like this time ...this wake-up call. 

4-Days Off

I had four glorious days off from work for the long, Memorial weekend.  I can't say that the official kickoff to summer was that beautiful as the weather was absolutely putrid; cold, windy and rainy.   I had so wanted to log some miles on my 400-mile biking journey, but that didn't happen.  

So what did happen?

Yearly work night down at the family cemetery plots was a success; family IS everything.
I was able to sleep in until 8 am on three of those days; that rarely happens.
I planted flowers, lots of them; I'm not a gardener,
I was able to visit with my friend, Becky, face to face; that doesn't happen often,
Blaine is a wonderful dinner guest,
My to-do list is still there,
No matter how much time off I have, I'm still not ready to go back to work,

What to Write About

I really don't know what to write about today.  Nothing spectacular or out of the ordinary has happened to me recently.  Life has been pretty mundane and, dare I say, boring of late - which may not entirely be a bad thing, I guess.   The alternative is chaos and drama, right?

So, I guess I'll write about the ordinary and mundane.

Last week was Mother's Day.  It was a quiet day as 1) my mother and mother-in-law are not alive and 2) I'm not a mother.   I didn't do anything to speak of , laundry I suppose.   I did go for a 10 mile bike ride in the morning.  It was the only time that I got out last week.   In honesty, I haven't gotten out at all this week due to the weather.  My mileage count for May is 36 miles now.  I believe my goal is a hefty 80 miles per month (5 months).  Which means I had better get moving!  

T.S. Eliot says, "Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.".    We shall see, shan't we?  

Oh!  I got a new phone yesterday.  I am the proud owner of the Samsung 8+.   I love it, so far.  A little bigger than I anticipated, but I can live with that.  (It'll be easier to find in my purse, otherwise known as the black hole!).  The screen and color are so vivid!  The only complaint this far is that auto-correct has a definite mind of it's own.  I've come up with some interesting phrases and words in the last 24 hours. 

I'm learning how to use Snap Chat.  I'm now officially represented in Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snap Chat.  My poor friends and family are going to get tired of me sending them stuff.  Don't worry Joan and Karen - the newness will fade in a month or so and I'll fall in to social media oblivion.  :)

Speaking of Karen - she graduated from Law School today!  Her scholastic journey has ended and now it's on to the working world.  (But first she has to pass her bar exams) .   I am so proud of both her and Joan.  They've set the bar high for themselves and have met - if not exceeded their goals.  The sky is the limit for them and I'm so glad that they've let me be a part of their journeys.  While I couldn't be with Karen  today, I will be able to give her an extra big hug on June 3rd when her mother hosts a small gathering of family and friends in her honor.  

I bought flowers today.  Supposedly you plant the things in the ground or pots and they grow.  This is new territory for me.  I kill cactus.  But, in the interest of having some sort of curb appeal, I decided that I shall enter in this whole gardening thing with zest and make things colorful.   I even painted pots and old wooden chairs in an effort to spruce things up.  I, unfortunately, am not a painter either.    

It was one year ago yesterday that we moved in to town.  Although I miss the quiet and solitude of the country, I have grown accustomed to the convenience of city life.  As some one pointed out to me, I can always take my bike and go visit the country.   The house is slowly becoming "less Ella's" and more "me".   I have yet to put anything up on the walls.  It's a bit stark looking.  I can't decide what I want to put up or if I like the minimalist look.

Well, I'm done importing music in to Itunes (I'm multitasking) so better  get to making supper.  

Peace Out, blog stalkers!

 

All Staff Call-In

Working in a prison setting is not for the faint of heart.  We attend training constantly, review policies and procedures and hold drills.  We prepare for the worst in hopes that we'll never have to do the "real thing."

Today was a drill, but it had all the adrenaline and chaos of the real thing.  The simulation had two inmates escaping the facility, but not before they assaulted a staff member and took two staff hostage.  The all-staff call-in was initiated and a command post was set up.  Staff arrived at the staging area, incident command and operations issued assignments, local law enforcement, highway patrol and other agencies responded.  

There were issues, of course, but that's the reason we hold drills such as the one we did today. 

I'm very proud of the staff and the professionalism they portray each and every day.  Although everyone knew it was a drill, everyone took it quite  seriously.  Veteran staff paired with new staff, constructive criticism accepted graciously, and teamwork between staff was amazing.

I'm very proud of the staff and the amazing work they do each and every day.   I know that if the "real thing" were to ever happen, we'll be ready.

Goals

Well blog stalkers......I'm well on my way to my 400 miles by October 1st.   I logged 36 miles in one week.  If I can keep that up, I'll hit my goal before October.

I did have one little mishap Thursday evening.  I was at an intersection waiting for oncoming traffic.  The pickup truck had his turn signal on to turn my direction, so I got up on my pedals to start across...and the pickup kept coming.   I had to do a hard stop (brakes and slam down foot to stop) in order to not get hit as he passed me - narrowly missing me.   I was seriously lucky that I wasn't run over. 

However I, unfortunately, did the hard stop with my left leg - my bad leg.  I'm feeling twinges in the outside of the knee - especially when I bend the knee.  I probably didn't do it any favors when I rode 10 miles yesterday.  So, I'll back off of riding until this weekend, which will be okay.

If I Say It Out Loud

If I say it out loud, it'll happen, right?   Ok...if I say it out loud in front of other people...then for sure it's going to happen.

Tonight in my 2nd class, I made the bold statement that I had a goal of riding 300 miles this summer/fall.  Heck, I've already gotten 16 miles under my belt.  So on the way home, I actually revised that goal to an ambitious 400 miles by freeze-up (putting bike away for the winter). 

Barring any unforeseen circumstances or health issues, I believe that I can do it.   (There's that word again...Believe!). 

So blog stalkers....I said it out loud...in front of other people.  I'm going to ride 400 miles by freeze-up (bike storage). 

I'll figure out a way to keep a running total on this blog - to keep me accountable to y'all.  LOL

Stayed tuned for updates! 

I Remember You

We all have those people in our lives....the ones that were with us for a season, a reason, or a lifetime.   Their mere presence in our lives touched us, shaped us, and made us who we are.  

Though gone, they're not forgotten. 

I heard this song yesterday...and I thought I'd share it...as a tribute to those have touched my life in such a profound way.

I Remember You (Skid Row)

My Ride

I was finally able to get on my bike for a ride this morning.  I had set out to do just a short ride - but ended up doing 16.2 miles.  Granted, they were all in town miles - but for the first ride of the season, that's alright.

I took a hill this morning and was pleasantly surprised when my legs (and lungs) didn't give out on me.  I remembered my shifting, standing on the pedals (thank you riding mentor!) and didn't give up. 

It was freeing.  My thoughts went everywhere, yet nowhere.  Friends filled my mind, family filled my heart, my soul fed my energy and my body fueled the fire.  

It was so beautiful this morning.  I didn't get out as early as I had liked but all was good.  I layered up, found my gloves, and headed out.  

I said good morning to everyone I saw.   People were out walking dogs, walking the park, doing gardening or yard work or just sitting enjoying coffee on their decks having a leisurely coffee.   I try and make up stories on everyone that I meet.  It's fun to give them a pretend life. 

The girl sitting on her deck having coffee and smoking a cigarette:  She was a single mother of two enjoying a little bit of quiet time to herself before her children woke up.  She had a fight with her ex (or baby daddy) because he was supposed to take the kids today and he called and said he couldn't.

To the man walking his dogs:  He was walking off steam as he'd just gotten in to a fight with his partner that morning and had to get out of the house.  

To the little boy riding his bike:  His parents were still sleeping it off (hangovers) and he was told to go outside and play so he didn't disturb them.  He left them alone for the freedom of his bike around the neighborhood.  

I loved the my first 16.2 miles of the season.  But I found a bit of freedom in each stroke of the pedal. 

Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better.... ~Albert Camus

Poor Kid

I was working a file today and I had to take a moment and breathe deeply.  

A social worker wanted to bring a young child in to visit one of our inmates.   The boy, not even a year old, is placed with Social Services because his mother was doing drugs (meth) during her pregnancy and tested positive after she had given birth to him.

The child was listed in our database as son to another inmate - the mother's husband.  In reading through the 12 page guardianship papers, it was revealed that the "husband" didn't/wouldn't claim the child as his own.   The current inmate, at one time, claimed paternity of the child, but has since rescinded that claim. 

The documents also stated the mother had listed two other "potential fathers" who both denied fathering the child.  

Paternity tests are being done, but in the meantime, the child is coming in to visit his "father"...or the last man to claim to be as such.

As I was reading through the papers, my heart sank.  All I could think of was, "that poor, poor little boy!"  What a rough beginning for him....and what is going to happen to him. ..now, and in the future.  

I hope the Universe is kind to this little boy. 

I work on my Patience....

There are things I wish,

Things I withstand, and things I do.  

There are things I do without,

and things I want, but I have what I need. 

 So I work on my patience a little every day.
~Sherry~ '17

What does it mean...

Recently I've been seeing dimes and pennies appearing in my path.   One dime and two pennies, to be exact. 

I've seen them in the farm house when I was cleaning....at the gym (one the floor) when I was lifting weights....on the floor in the grocery store ..and in the house.   They appear, seemingly out of nowhere.  It's actually kind of freaky.   I spoke with a friend of mine who said that it's a message from a loved one...trying to tell me. So, I googled it.

The Mystery of Dimes Appearing

Fascinating read. 

Now to figure out who from the other side, is trying to send me a message.

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

I woke up this morning with a cold. Oh joy.  This is the third cold I've had since the beginning of the year.  It seems that my weakened immune system hasn't strengthened all that much.  Not sure what is going on, but I'll continue to get better....healthier...stronger.  I have to, I have a lot of bike riding to do this spring/summer.  

I did take the bike out yesterday for the first time this spring.  It felt wonderful!  I didn't go very far - just kept it to a couple of the local parks.  I didn't want to get too wild and crazy on the first trip out. Besides, even though they say you never forget how to ride a bike, there is the simple thing of gaining strength in the legs and confidence in oneself in order to tackle the trails.  Those hills can be pretty darn scary.  I have been incredibly lucky in that I haven't wiped out too badly - I hope I never do.   I invested in a tire patching kit and some canisters of Co2 to carry with me in case I blow a tire when I'm out on the trails. Again, I've been incredibly lucky that hasn't happened, yet. 

Today is a lazy day.  I started the day out by making waffles.  I never make waffles, and now I know why.  They sucked!  The only good thing about them was the syrup. LOL  Guess it'll be anoher two years before I make them.   At least I know the waffle iron still works!

I'm sticking pretty close to home, my recliner.  I'm doing some laundry, ..ok...a lot of laundry.  I haven't washed clothes in two weeks.  (I needed clean undies! lol).   I should be doing some house cleaning as well, but quite frankly...I don't feel like it.  I'm perfectly happy sitting my tush in the recliner and binge watching Heartland (Netflix). 

I'm gearing up for the week ahead.  It's Easter next weekend.  We haven't quite figured out what we're doing yet.  I have a ham in the freezer - so maybe I'll throw that in the oven along with some baked potatoes...keep it simple...and spend the day at home which will be totally fine with me. 

Nothing else to report...it's just a lazy Sunday in the northland.  

Shoes

Truthfully, I hate wearing these restricting things!  My toes need air...they need to breathe.. the need to be free!

Sandals cannot come soon enough.  We're almost there...just a few days of consistent 50 degree temperatures and I breaking um out of the closet!

When I was younger, on the farm, I ditched shoes.  I was barefoot 90% of the time.  The soles of my feet were so conditioned, I could run barefoot on gravel and not feel a thing.  Poor mom....always a struggle with me.  "Sherry! Put some shoes on!" I'd comply, but only until out of eyesight. Lol.

She knew, of course.   But the joke was on me when it came time for school.  My poor toes were relegated back in to shoes....sad, confining, uncomfortable shoes.  Pure agony! And mom would utter the infamous "I told you to wear shoes".

While I may not run barefoot as I did in my youth, I still hate wearing shoes!

Believe

He's the other man in my life.  He's my trainer...and he's amazing.   Tonight's workout was absolutely a killer but I loved every minute of it.   And that is mostly because of Nick.  He infuses humor at just the right time...like when I'm just about ready to give up on an exercise.  He gives me encouragement but busts my chops when he sees incorrect form, or me cheating to make an exercise easier.

More importantly, he's taught me to never give up on myself when the going gets rough.  When I've completed a difficult exercise and said, "I didn't think I could do that,"  he's replied, "I did." 

I know that he's the facilitator and that I'm doing all the work, but when you have someone that believes in you, it can make all the difference in the world.  The difference between just making it through an exercise, or powering through and coming out stronger on the other side. 

And that's the point.   Believe.  Believe in yourself.

So often we fall prey to our own thoughts.  We listen to the voices in our head that say we aren't worthy or deserving.   Self talk.  It's either positive or negative.  Unfortunately, most of the time it's more on the negative side. 

But when someone believes in us, gives us the spark to move forward....to believe in ourselves, the sky is the limit.  

When we Believe, all things are possible.  The negative chatter in our head dissolved, and we believe that the impossible...is possible.

Life

Hello.  It's me again.   Seems like the only time I get to write on this blog is on Sunday evenings...after I've lived life for  a few days.  

It's been amazingly  good for me the past few weeks.   I've gotten to spend quality time with some of the most amazing women in my circle.

Last weekend I went to the Journey concert (for those who know me, Journey is my ALL time favorite band of ALL time!!) with my besties Donna and Vickie.   We had such an amazing time just hanging out with each other...laughing, grooving to the music and just "being" together.   I have tons of photos to share, but they're all on my phone and I haven't a clue how to import them here (I'm kind of technologically challenged).

This weekened I was fortunate to have time with one of my longtime friends... Becky  We've known each other for 20 years.   I've seen her through thick and thin...and vice versa.  She's one of those "lifetime" friends... you know ...the one's that know your history and still love you no matter what. 

We spent some great time together this weekend.  We left early on Friday and hit Fargo, only to shop until we dropped.  After a nice supper at Johnny Carino's, we headed back to the hotel and relaxed.  We got comfortable (in PJ's) and uncorked a bottle of wine and got down to the business of connecting.....sharing thoughts, fears, dreams, hopes and reality.   No holds barred.   She's been with me the longest of any of my "circle", and knows all the gory details of my life....and I, of hers. 

Our friendship is one that will stand the test of time.  We don't have contact daily....we see each other rarely...but she's one of those people that will ALWAYS be in my life.  

Today, was an easy kind of day.  I slept in (a rarity for me), then headed up to Blaine's apartment.  He's done such an amazing job at keeping it clean!  I told him how proud I was of him and how he should be proud of himself.  We went for breakfast, did some grocery shopping, took a drive out to the Pipestem Dam and Jamestown Resevoir, all the while cruising to some awesome music.  

After I dropped him off, I came home and cleaned.  Yuck!!   But, it's a necessary evil...and if I'm gonna get on Blaine's case about cleaning....I'd better put up or shut up!

The upcoming week will be a long one for me....short days at work, but a long week (no 1/2 day on Friday)   I have a full yoga and gym schedule.  

I'm proud of myself.  I've had two really great weeks.  My moods have been good, I've spent amazing time with spectacular friends, created memories and lived life.  

Life......it's all good today!

SONGBIRD

There are songs that are just too beautiful not to share.  I played this in both my classes tonight during final relaxation.  More than one student asked who was the artist.  Eva Cassidy.  

Enjoy.

Songbird

It's Been Awhile

I've been doing better with moods and anxiety.  I've tried hard to not get wound up in thoughts and worries about things, events or people I have no control over.  It's taken a LOT of self talk, deep breathing and exercise to get me there.

Then...BAM!..I have a day like today.

Totally threw me for a loop.  I felt like I was derailing in slow motion...powerless to stop the downward spiral.  I can't tell you what started the whole thing, but a conversation I was having didn't help matters.

I had to walk away.  I had to breathe and let go...but it wasn't working.   I actually sat in my space and teared up.  I threw on some oils, which did help for a bit...at least until I could get to the gym.

Nick  (trainer) saw it immediately.  He's seen it before.  He didn't give me time to think.....all I did was sweat.   It helped...it always does.  Until I'm alone with my thoughts again.

I just took a hot bath...and I'll hit the bed in a few minutes.   I'm hoping tomorrow will be better.

To Do Lists

I always have grandiose ideas of everything I'm going to get accomplished on the weekends.  Then reality sets in. 

I took Friday off from work - but quickly realized that this was a day that was not conducive to productivity.  Gym time, a reflexology appointment, lunch with sisters and a nail appointment took up the entire day.   That's alright....I deserve days like that.  

Saturday saw two yoga classes, then major league house cleaning and laundry.   I have been a bit neglectful of the house due to other obligations.   I knew I had to get on top of it this weekend as the next two weekends I won't have time due to being out of town. 

It was kind of fun though - because as I was cleaning, the annual Running of the Green participants literally went by my house.  Talk about entertaining!    Hundreds attend each year and it's quite the event.    I picked Blaine up from work at 5:00 pm and the first thing he said is, "Can we stop down at the Elks and see Auntie Peggy?"    No problem Blaine!.   It was packed, but it was fun.  I saw quite a few people that I know.  And Blaine knows everybody.  lol   He had a burger and a couple of beers...talked with some friends, then came to find me to go home.   I was actually quite surprised as I thought he'd want to stay longer.   He said he was tired and wanted to go home and relax.   But...he already put me on notice.  Next year WE are doing the Run.   Uh huh....Ok Blaine. 

Today I met my best friend at Anytime Fitness at 930 for some cardio.  I came home and did another load of laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, took the 4Runner to get gas, scored a major sale at JC Penny's (I'm incredibly sad that this store will be closing in June!), and just finished some bookwork. 

I should tackle the remnants of the farmhouse, which is stored in the garage.  But I just don't have it in me.  I'm now relaxing....updating my blog and truly watching a bit of television.   Nothing strenuous today. 

So, my To Do lists are going to have to wait for a few more weeks.  And that's alright.  

Oh...and blog stalkers....,my medical tests came back fine. :)

Namaste'

~Sherry~

Tuesday Night

Here it is, 9:53 pm on a Tuesday night.  I just finished a hot soak in the tub.  Quiet time for me...to reflect on the day and it's happenings.

In a nutshell....not much.  lol

Woke up uber early and just wasn't feeling the day at all.  It made me dream of being independently  wealthy and not having to be anywhere or do anything except what I really wanted to do.  No worries, no obligations, no stress.   Then I got to thinking....well shit...that isn't going to happen ..so no sense dreaming about it.  

Then I got to thinking about dreams.  A good friend once told me, "Never stop dreaming...you might get lucky someday."

Which got me thinking about luck.  Are we really lucky?  Or is the Universe at play and it gives us what we really need at just the right time.

Which lead me to thinking about timing...or, specifically...bad timing.  Bad luck?  Bad Timing?  Or, there again...the Universe has it's hand and gives us what we need (or not).

I know...all this as I'm showering.  (Virgo mind at work, people!).  

So I got dressed, pour myself a cup of ambition, loaded my arms with the multitude of bags needed to get me through the day (gym bag, lunch bag, purse) and headed out to work.  

My favorite song is Don't Stop Believing by Journey.  

Guess as long as I can Dream....and Believe....maybe the Universe will smile on me.  :)

Until then....it's time for bed so I  can get up and think about something else while I get ready for work.  

Night Night.

 

Cleaning

It's a necessary evil in life and or seems like it's all I've been doing lately.

Today was Blaine's day off.  I went to his apartment at 10ish and visited with him over a cup of coffee and some breakfast Pizza.  We discussed our plan of attack and set out to tackle it. 

I'm SO proud of him!  He's been working hard to keep up with dishes and garbage.   He is taking pride in his apart now, which I hoped he would.  I keep stressing to him that the more he does on his own, the less it cuts on to "Our" time.   Today it took us only 1 hour to clean.  Positive reinforcement = progress!

We celebrated with lunch and a beer ..then I came home to do my own house.  I did a load of laundry and prepped three meals for the week.   It feels good to be a bit on top of things.

Tonight, I'm all about relaxing.  I'm fried....physically,  emotionally and mentally.   I'm enjoying some of the simpler things ...then headed to bed. Early.  (And no! I am NOT old!).

March

The last few years, March has been a big Change month for me.  The Changes have been significant ones in my life. 

In 2015, T decided to buy his mother's house, which led to a year long renovation process.

In 2016, I started the whole process of packing up and starting to move items in to town every weekend.

Now, in 2017, I've been doing the final purging of unwanted items from the farmhouse and, this last weekend, power cleaned it to get ready for sale.

I had set aside the first three weekends to clean. But my dear, wonderful friend Donna offered to help.  We power cleaned Saturday and did six rooms...everything but the kitchen.

I took Blaine to work at 11:30 on Sunday then headed to the farm.  I cleaned from 12 until 630pm.  As I had the music playing, windows  open, I was very nostalgic.  T lived there since 1968; I moved there in1989. A lot of memories in that old house. 

The final walk through each room, standing on the deck and hearing the country sounds and seeing the view for the last time was difficult. But driving away was worse.  I wept.  The emotions, the finality ...hit me hard. 

I loved living in the country.

But that chapter is coming to a close.

March....a month of change.

Downshift

Here I am, home, sick - again.  I had a procedure done at the hospital yesterday that required anesthesia.   The procedure turned out ok, I think (still waiting for test results).  I felt like crap yesterday (headache and nauseous); today isn't going any better.   My headache is leaning towards the migraine status.  When the nurse called to check up on me from yesterday's procedure, I asked her if this is a reaction to the anesthesia.  She said that in all likelihood, it was.   Her recommendation was to hydrate, get plenty of  rest and take Tylenol (or Imitrix if it turns to Migraine)  as needed .  I'm already on it. 

 

Today is about lots of naps, watching Netflix (Heartland), drinking my weight in water and taking it easy. 

 

In truth, I'm not complaining; I  needed to downshift.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another Cold

I was feeling good for three weeks.  Then BAM! Another cold hit me like a ton of bricks last night.  The doctor said I had  weakened immune system, but geezzz!...this is ridiculous!

So here I sit, cough drops, Kleenex, Tylenol and tea.   Golly Gee! 🤒

I had my abdominal ultrasound today, which was not a pleasant experience.  The technician was focusing a whole lot in the direction of my right ovary, which is where the doctor said "didn't feel right."

I'm a pretty positive person.  But if you caught my last blog post, you'll see one of my thoughts listed was "why do we always think worst case scenario when faced with the unknown."   (Thank you, Rob, for your insight on that one). So, I'm trying hard not to let my Virgo mind (anxiety) create a problem where there probably isn't one.  I'll cross the bridge when/if I need to. 

Otherwise, not much else is going on.  Taking life day by day and trusting the Universe has me where (and doing) I'm supposed to be.

Thoughts

1) I'm tired of turning on the news and hearing hate and discontent
2) I'm not willing to give up easily on things or people I Believe in.
3) Too many do. (Referring to #2).
4) Seriously not looking forward to upcoming medical tests.
5) Why do we immediately think of the worst case scenario when faced with the unknown ?
6)  My lunch isn't very appetizing
7) Just 4 weeks until the first day of Spring
8) I ache.  The full speed ahead approach in the gym isn't always the best approach
9) I believe I've settled on my next tattoo design and location
10) I have a filter.  50%of the time I don't use it when I should, generally in those moments when I'd like to say, "are F'ing kidding me?!" but hold my filter because I don't want to 1)cause hurt 2) be a bitch
11) That's me....peacemaker.
12) I am SO grateful that yoga and exercise help to calm me down.
13) Despite everything going on around me, in me or to me....life could always be worse.
14) Always find Gratitude
15) Be your own Cheerleader!
~Sherry~

Perception

The mind is a fickle thing.  It controls so much of us....thought processes, body, personality,  mood, behavior.

There is an entire show on the Discovery Channel called Mind Games.  It's rather interesting yet frightening.

The basis is about what we (our minds) actually see and what we perceive. 

A car accident is witnessed by 3 people.  When interviewed separately, they each gave a different "eyewitness " report on what happened.

How often have you heard something or seen something, and you immediately draw a conclusion based off of what you have just seen (or heard)?  Your mind, perception, steps in and a belief is formed.

We, as humans, are quick to judge based off of our perception of reality.  The judgement comes from the innate need to be right.

It's quite sad when people's lives, reputations and careers are affected by perception, and ultimately....judgement.

Not all perceptions are real and true.  Think about that the next time you come to a conclusion/judgement about an event, a person, a situation.

In most cases, when a perception is challenged through dialog or communication.....the reality is revealed through clarification.

In short....communicate, don't jump to a conclusion based off your perception of the truth, and don't judge based off of your misguided perception of someone else's reality.

#rantover

Change

Life is in a constant state of flux.  Change is never easy, but it's a constant part of life.  An oxymoron.  

Relationships, people, moods, weather, jobs, health, thoughts, ...everything changes.

Sometimes the change is welcomed, like winter turning in to spring.  Or when our health improves...change is good.  

Change is unwelcome when it affects people I know and love in a negative way.   I have two friends that are going through some very difficult times right now.  Their lives have been in a constant state of upheaval the last two years due to accidents, cancer, depression, and job changes. It seems as though a  dark cloud of misfortune hangs above them.  I pray that things turn around for them soon, very soon. 

It is true ..the saying Carpe Diem (Seize the Day).  In yoga, the words 'Be Present" mean the same. 

We are all presented with 24 hours in which to live a day in our life. Although we're seemingly running on this hamster wheel of life, each day will present new challenges and change - some good, some bad.

 It's up to us to make the best out of what life throws at us each and every day. 

I cannot live fast enough!
      For a swirl of rushing air
      Catches the red leaves from my feet
      And scatters them everywhere.
I cannot live fast enough!
      Look! those trees were green and are bare
      And over the cold horizon hills
      The winter sun-fires glare.
I have not lived fast enough!
      I must hurry, must run, must dare,
      There is time yet for a red leaf
      To tangle itself in my hair!
~Eda Lou Walton, "A Song," c.1919

Something to Think About

I'm at lunch right now and have a couple of things I need to get off my chest.

1) When did we become so disrespectful and an entitled society/nation?  We've become hurtful in words and actions.   We think nothing of getting on our computers or phones to belittle or demean people we may or may not know.  I was taught that it's OK to disagree on issues, if you can't say something nice then don't say it....or, address it with the person IN operson rather than cut them down from a computer app or behind their back.

Entitlement?  You want to get paid top dollar but get upset when you're asked to do honest work for it?  Puuhhleaasssee!  Suck it up.  Start at the bottom, work your way up, earn the things you want....you just might appreciate what you have more and be less judgemental of those less fortunate than yourself. 

2) If you're not willing to hear someone else's opinion,  then don't offer your own.  Conversation and debate are both on a two way street.

3) Respect.   Same thing.  If want it, then give it.  Don't want to be judged? Then don't judge!  And if you do judge me, you'd better be damn near a Saint yourself for the rest of your life! 

4) Family, and friends...close friends are my inner circle.  I value them and all they bring to my life; love, trust, laughter, stability, dreams, and support. 

Something to think about.

5)

Weight Management

It's the hardest thing I've  ever done....lose weight and keep it off.  It's a never ending battle.   If I didn't love food so much, it'd probably be easier.  But nooooo....I love food.  I love to eat food, cook food, smell food, taste food.  

I try and limit carbs.  But...I refer back to the previous paragraph.  I love food. And that means carbs...all kinds of carbs.  Bread?  Oh hell ya!  Pizza?  All bets are off!   See where I'm going with this?

Today I had a banana for breakfast, salad for lunch, protein drink and hard boiled egg for a snack and tonight I had mashed potatoes, gravy and chicken.  Healthy, portion controlled and not laden with carbs.   The trick is, to keep the trend going for more than one day.  LOL

I do a lot of exercising...a lot. Yoga classes four days a week, meet with my trainer two days a week, and in between I try and fit in at least one extra day in the gym to do cardio.  That's what I'm a bit lax on.    Biking season is coming up in a few months, so I'll get more movement an cardio in then as well.  But it seems like my body just won't move off of this one number (give or take a few pounds).  Nick (trainer) always says "you can't out train a bad diet."  Oh blow it out your ear Nick!  lol

So, as long as I have a love affair with food, I'll keep the  whole love/hate relationship with the scale and the constant battle to manage my weight.  

And yes, I'm very grateful that I'm healthy...and a number on the scale doesn't define who I am.   But I've also been a 100 lbs heavier and not so healthy (in mind and body).  

I refuse to go back. 

Energy

So this is what it feels like to feel good!  

My body is finally starting to feel better...which goes a long way towards helping with my mood.  

I took Blaine to work at 9 am this morning, or rather I took him to the Mall so that he could attend a movie (free) as part of the Walmart Christmas Party.   I sound like a broken record, but that guy just brightens my day whenever I'm around him.

From there, I headed to the gym and did some serious cardio.  I haven't done that in a long time since I've been sick.   It felt good to sweat and open up the lungs.  Hopefully my body is on the upswing and I can focus more on getting healthier.

What's on deck for the rest of the day?  A little housework, and going to a friends party this afternoon for a couple of hours. 

I got this

Today was a good day.  I taught two yoga classes and hit the tanning bed for some artificial sunlight.

My mood has been up and down lately.  To be honest, more down than up.  It's the critical time of winter when my S.A.D rears it's ugly head.  A good friend pointed out my mood and said "don't spiral down so far...you know what you need to do.".

They are right.  Winter takes me down.  Last winter it took me down hard...the year before that, even worse.

What I've come to realize is I have a host of tools in my tool chest to help me conquer the winter blues.

I have yoga and the gym.  No matter how bad the blues get,  if I can get on my yoga mat or hit the gym, the blues  are held at bay....if only for a while.

Tanning...while not great for skin (wrinkles) or skin health  (cancer), the artificial sunlight does help with my mood.   Sometimes you have to weigh the good with the bad.  

Stress and worry.   I'm a classic Virgo...I overthink the shit out of everything and everyone.   I HAVE to let go...my sanity depends on it.

I'm an empath  with a big heart...a double wammy.  I have a heart buddy who has helped me tremendously to know and honor this side of me.  I've learned...rather, I'm learning to guard my heart and soul from the hardships others are fighting.  There is a difference between feeling what they are going through and taking their problems on as my own.

Answers.   It's OK not to have them, and not be able to FIX everything.   It's OK..

So...as winter progresses..I believe I've got a handle on it. 

(But I'm still counting down to Spring!)

Tuesday 1-24-17

I think I'm on the mend.  I cancelled my yoga classes early on in the day yesterday.   I went to work when, in reality,  I should have taken another day off.  But, the dang work ethics won out and I went anyways. 

There was no way I could've taught a class last night, let alone two.  My body and mind weren't up to it.

I went home, put on jammies and headed for the couch, where I stayed until going to bed at 830.  Other than waking up once, I slept until 6am.

I am better than I was yesterday,  so I'm headed in the right direction.  The trick is to keep me headed in that direction.

I am going to the gym tonight but I'm not going to kill myself or let Nick kill me either.  I'll be done by 630ish....pick Blaine up from work and take him home...thanks home to eat, bathe and head to bed early.

I'm honoring my body...steady, slow.  I want to stop being sick.  It's not fun and definitely messing with my MOJO.

I'm On My Way

I'm Sick

This is day #3 of powerful antibiotics, being housebound and sick.  My body has been sick since before Christmas.  Gastrointestinal issues, cold and respiratory issues....a vicious cycle that wasn't getting better but worse. Doctor said it was a "bacterial body infection with weakened immune system"...in other words..."crud".

I'm guilty in not taking care of myself.  I go, go, go, go until I crash and burn....which I did Thursday morning.

I attempted to work.  I lasted 15 minutes and just couldn't do it.  After going home to crawl in bed for a few hours, I made the trip to the clinic where a very nice young Dr. gave me Azithromycin with orders to rest and get plenty of fluids.  He didn't need to tell me twice.

I haven't moved from the house since my appointment on Thursday at 11.  I cancelled all of my yoga classes and have been doing plenty of sleeping and watching TV programs including all day coverage of the Inauguration of our 45th President  (more on that in future posts).

I'm hoping to start feeling better soon.  Day #3 finds my body tired, gastrointestinal issues re-emerging.  I took my last dose of meds a new hour ago.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed but also learned a lesson or two 1) my 54 body doesn't bounce back like it did when it was 25 2)I need to take better care of myself and slow it down a little.  Sometimes life in the fast lane needs to take the "slower traffic to the left" lane. 3) I get bored ...quickly and easily.   This could be problematic in my later years

~Sherry

Life in the Fast Lane

It's not just an Eagles song.  I'm talking about Life.  It's already the 17th of January.  Holy Smokes!

While I'm anxiously counting down the weeks until the 1st day of Spring (9 for those interested), I don't want time to go so fast.

I have so much to do, things to get organized, projects to do, places to go and people to see.  But when?  I blink and my days are over. 

I take each day as it happens.  I try not to schedule too much ....but I'm not one to sit in my chair either.  Life is meant to be lived!

I've been helping my nephew Blaine take care of his apartment, cleaning, organizing and doing a bit of purging too.  He's so proud of his apartment and living independently, he just needs a little help.  

That had taken up some free time of mine, but I'd do it a hundred times over if it meant Blaine would be happy.

As of February,  I will no longer be doing yoga on my Fridays.   I'm doing That for me.  I need some quality ME time to unwind, go for bike rides, pampering, helping Blaine if need be.  It'll be nice to have the free time...I just have to remember to not put any more obligations in that time. 

I'll continue to live life in the fast lane, but I'll set the speed.  I'll be in control. Hopefully

Treasured Sunday Conversations

My brother's wife, Ron/Pearl, passed away before Thanksgiving.   I have made it a weekly date on Sundays to call him and check in....see how he is doing.

We don't get to deep in conversation.  We talk about weather, his kids and grandchildren, what he did to occupy his time.  Occasionally he mentions his late wife, Pearl, and going out to the cemetery to visit her. They were "in love"....inseparable.

We don't go too deep in conversation but tonight he said, "it's starting to set in that no one is here, she isn't coming back"

I could only respond with, "when it gets too quiet, you're always welcome here. A temporary diversion, I know."

I've come to treasure these weekly conversations with my oldest brother (and Godfather).   He reminds me so much of my father....mannerisms and look.  He has incredible insight  and yet is a man of few words.  These weekly talks are quickly becoming the highlight of my weekend. It's my connection to my brother that warms my heart. 

Sometimes something good does, I deed, come out of tragedy.   While I'd give anything to have Pearl back, I do treasure our very  special time together.  Love you, Ron!

Thursday Musings

It's cold. Dang cold. -9 without windchill.  I'd like nothing more than to hibernate the rest of winter, but that's a bit unrealistic.

I have started counting down the weeks until the first day of Spring....11 weeks!  I hope I last that long.  My seasonal depression always hits me hard in January and February.   I'm trying hard to fight it, but the weather and being "under the weather" are taking a toll.  I know going to the gym more often is integral to my well-being so I have already scheduled in more workouts in to my weeks.  It's all about planning.

I've also started looking at cutting back on some yoga classes.  Taking a look at what I want to do in 2017.  I'm not going to lie....I'm getting a bit burnt out.  My first night back after a two week break was brutal.  I enjoyed my down time from teaching...which is an indication that I need to make some changes.  I feel bad, but my health needs to come first....without that, I'm no good to anyone.
~Sherry♡

Thoughts

  Thoughts...here goes.
1).I'm a positive person, really...I am.  But I'm a little fed up with how winter is sucking the life out of my dunny disposition.  Now, being Ms Positive....it's only 11 weeks until the first day of spring.

2) Some people should be held to a higher standard

3)my winter cold will probably last 11 weeks at the rate it's going

4)time...I need more of it

5)I don't have a new years resolution, but I'm trying to make each day a good one (despite my whining)

6)tomorrow is already Wednesday and I get to teach yoga to amazing peeps!

7)I bought new tunes on Itunes...can't wait to listen to the new Playlist

8)messages from friends make me smile

9)my family is my heart

10) I have amazing friends!