Firsts

It's amazing how fulfilling stepping out of one's comfort zone can be.  During this past weekend I did just that, twice.

On Friday night I walked in a parade.  That's a first for me.   I've watched plenty of them but never walked in one.   JRCC A-shift (and friends) constructed a float that ultimately won "Most Original" float of the parade.   It was an amazing concept of a gift, wrapped with a bow and tag "From JRCC."   But, the sides opened up to reveal a family sitting I in front of the fire place and the Christmas tree.   It was a brilliant concept and executed beautifully.  Thank you A-shift.  I walked with an ICAP dog named Ida.  She's a pretty little golden lab.  Our start to the evening was a little rough as I scared her by wearing a bombardier hat. However, we made up and she did very well through the parade considering it was her first parade too.    It was blooming cold though.  And I loved every single minute of it! 

JRCC has been very short staffed.  Every day the Admin Captain sends out emails about shift open to work.   I bit the bullet and signed up for a shift which was last night.   I signed up for the 2-10 shift and worked with A-shift in the SAU (Special Assistance Unit) for the criminally disturbed inmates.  It was quite interesting.  I was very nervous but towards the end of the shift I was settling in to the routine.   I was on guard with everything and everyone (inmates).  I observed the stellar work of the correctional officers as they interacted with inmates that could turn on them in a heartbeat.  They seemed relaxed but I knew they were ready to react in a heartbeat.  They're professionals and great at what they do.  One of the officers asked me if I had a good shift.  I replied, "I guess so."  He's an older man who is actually retiring today due to health issues (cancer).   He smiled and asked me these questions.  1)  Did anyone escape? 2) Did anyone die? 3) Are you going home?    When I answered No, No and Yes, he said, "Then you had a good shift."   (Thank you Lloyd).   

I was fortunate to work with A-shift.  I have a lot of friends on A-shift.  They helped me be not quite as nervous and filled me in on what to expect.   I've worked at the prison for 15 years but this is only the 2nd shift that I've worked.   Now that I know I can be an effective shift member, I will sign up for another shift if needed - and my schedule allows.  

Caring

This quote was on my calendar today.  Loved it so much I had to share:

The capacity for caring illuminates any relationship.   The more people you care about, and the more intensely you care, the more alive you are

Where To Start

It's been far, far too long since my last post on this blog.   It's not that I haven't had plenty to blog about, I have.   It's been a shortage of time and desire to do so. 

 

Life has gotten busy, too busy at times.  I have a sense of being overwhelmed with work, my mother-in-law and yoga.   

 

Work:  It seems as if someone flipped a switch and my workload went turbo.  We are launching a new software at work and I'm part of the team that is testing it for accuracy of rollover database information, bugs and overall performance.  While it's been great to get back to something I loved to do in a previous job (over 25 years ago), it's also been a bit frustrating.  I haven't always  been given access to all areas of the software (control issues).  Testing then becomes a question of whether it's an honest programming error or an access error.  Not to mention testing takes time away from an increasing workload that seems to be growing daily.  The go-live date for the program was to have been November 15th but has since been moved back to December 6th due to the incredible amount of program errors that have been found.  Once the new software patch is installed on Monday, I'll be expected to test the software thoroughly - again.   The best part of all of this is job security. 

 

Mother-In-law:   My sweet 94 yr old mother-in-law isn't doing the greatest.  She has now developed pneumonia along with becoming increasingly confused, weak and frail.  I worry about her.  When I have spare time, I try and spend time with her.  Tom and I seem to be the primary ones caring for her needs.  It's a good thing that T is retired and can visit with her twice a day and accompany her to doctor appointments. 

 

Yoga:  It seems that my name has really gotten out with regards to yoga.  In the last month or so I've had quite a few inquiries about yoga classes.  Of course, it is fall/winter so people are taking things in doors and looking for activities to keep them active. 

 

As a result of a survey, I am now going to teach yoga every Saturday - at least through the winter and spring months.  I've also started teaching every Saturday at Anytime Fitness, in addition to the Tuesday night class I teach there.  Numbers for that class have been low but I'm not extremely worried.  I don't believe people have caught on yet that I teach there on Saturdays.   If numbers do not increase there, that's alright - I'll just discontinue that class and head to the gym during that time frame. (I need to work on my cardio anyway!)

 

I've also been contacted by a group of senior ladies who would like to do yoga every other Friday for a 1/2 hour.  They will be paying regular class rates but for only 1/2 hour of class time. I squeeze them in between work and my nursing home peeps!  :) 

 

I just finished a weekend yoga retreat, my 4th annual, at the Lakeview Meadow cabins.  What an amazing weekend, as always.  It is a lot of work for me as host, cook and teach yoga.  Every year I swear that I will not do another one, yet I find myself looking forward to the next year and eventually end up scheduling the retreat.

 

I'm doing some minor decorating to the yoga studio.  I had a dear friend do some photography for me this past week.  I'm in the process of having some posters made from some amazing photos, along with a few 4x6's for my desk.  The pictures are beautiful and the photographer/friend did an amazing job!  Thank you!!  I can't wait for you to see your work hung in my studio!

 

 

Feel Alive

I've been dealing with my mother-in-law since we admitted her to the nursing home last Wednesday.  It's difficult to see her there in this state.  She's always been a symbol of strength in my mind, always finding ways to get exercise and had the "I'll do it" mentality.  Not so much now.   She's in a lot of pain and has lost her appetite.  She weighs 87 lbs fully clothed.  Her lack of appetite is affecting her physical state; she is weak and all she wants to do is sleep.  I worry about her a great deal.  While I hope for the best, I fear for the worst if things do not turn around for her, soon.    Tom is trying to be strong but I know he feels the weight of the world on his shoulders.  I worry about him too.  I do as much as I can to assure him that it'll be alright, but I know his mind is constantly working about what needs to be done if, and when, his mother passes.

As for me, having Ella has brought back memories from when my mother and grandmother were in the nursing home.  In fact, Ella is in the same room that my grandmother was in.  She was 94 when she passed away in '95.  In a lot of respects, they remind me of each other.

I'm doing alright for the most part.  I feel an incredible amount of stress laying on my shoulders right now.  Work is definitely busy and challenging.  I am getting more work projects piled on me; I'm expected to do more with no extra time (or pay).  I keep telling myself that it's job security and I can handle anything they throw at me and it's my time to show them just how valuable of an employee I am. :)  Then there is the incredible low morale at work.  It seems that no one is happy - from management all the way down to line staff.  I have so many people  coming to me with their thoughts, concerns and issues - that I feel this overwhelming need to Fix it.  Somehow.  I had a letter drafted to send to the members of the Management Team, but I thought better of it.  Timing is everything and that letter was written after three glasses of wine after a particularly emotional day.  While I haven't hit the Send button, I WILL find a way to convey the concerns of the many who have trusted in me to listen to them.

The title of this post is Feel Alive.  I have to keep reminding myself to Live Each Day- to be present in the moment and not worry about tomorrow.  Tomorrow is going to happy whether I worry about it or not.   So I find things that make me feel good and stress less.   I went for an incredible bike ride yesterday.  I rode 15 miles through the Pipestem and towards my house.  Incredible and beautiful.  The memory of sitting on waters edge enjoying the view will be forever etched in my memories.  I was Alive and in the moment; peaceful is the only way it could be described. Reality did rear it's ugly head later in the day as I visited Ella in the nursing home, but I was more able to handle it because of the peaceful and enjoyable morning that I'd had.

Changes

I spent the night with my mother in law.  She hasn't been doing well the past week.  She is experiencing a lot of pain, hasnt been eating and is very unstable on her feet.

After several trips to the doctor and emergency room, Tom made the decision to place her in a nursing home.  Today she'll go to Ava Maria.  Change isn't easy for anyone but especially for Ella.  I fear that this is thw beginning of the end for this sweet lady.  I also know that Tom is going to have his hands full with family.  They've never been close at all..but am sure that this will cement the dissention between them.

I will have to be strong for both of them.

Vacation is almost over!

Tomorrow it's back to reality - I go back to work.  It'll be a Tuesday disguised as a Monday, and those are tortuous days as it's a double load.  Add to that the fact that I've been gone for a week.  Ugggh!

 

But, I'm going in to the work week with renewed vigor.  It's amazing what time off can do for a person.   I'm rested, rejuvenated and feeling good about myself.   T and I had a good time and saw some amazing countryside.  I discovered that I'm in love with the mountains - specifically the Grand Tetons.   When I win the lottery, you'll find me there.  :)

 

So I enjoyed today immensely.  I had lunch with a friend then went out to the Pipestem Dam for some awesome time on the trails.  The sun was shining and it was relaxing and beautiful to sit and enjoy the scenery.  (I'm trying to soak up as much Vitamin D as I can before the snow starts flying). 

 

So for the rest of this night, I am going to enjoy the rest of my vacation time for tomorrow it's back to reality.

Day 6 of Vacation

As much as I hated to do it, we left Grand Teton National Park and made our way towards Yellowstone.   The last time that either of us had been here was 20 years ago when we rushed through the park on our honeymoon.   This time we're taking our time.   Today we saw some pretty amazing waterfalls!  I probably took too many pictures but seriously, how often do I get to see waterfalls?   I discovered something about T today....he doesn't like heights.  Well, not heights specifically but rather looking down over ledges.   It was a real trip for him when I was driving through the mountain passes this morning.  It was fine while he was on the mountain side, but when he was on the "cliff" side, he was white knuckling it a bit.   NOT that I'm a bad driver or anything.

 

We're staying in Gardiner MT tonight in a quaint little hotel run by these goofy two women who are a hoot.   But the room is clean and the price is right.    What is even more fun is there is a back patio that overlooks the Yellowstone River.   So tonight we went to the grocery store to pick up some items and guess what?  They have these cute little individual glasses of wine!   That's what I enjoyed on the patio tonight. :)

 

Signing off from Gardiner MT

Day 5 of Vacation

What an absolutely amazing day!  It will be stamped in my memory forevermore.

We stayed in Jackson Hole last night and decided this morning to go check out the Tram at Teton Village.   We bought two tickets for the trip up the mountain.   OMG!!  I stood on top of a freaking mountain!   It was so beautiful and breathtaking that I teared up.  We watched some brave souls tandem paraglide.  I wanted to do it but voice of reason talked me out it.

From there we went to Jenny Lake and to the boat across.  We hiked 2.5 miles to the falls and another .5 mile to Inspiration Point.

 

 We didn't travel very far today at all...only 50 miles!   We ended up staying at Signal Mountain Resort beside Jackson Lake.  It was a quaint little cabin with no TV and no internet (hence the late post). LOL    Hubs and I took a walk down by the water and watched the sunset.   It was beautiful and the perfect ending to a perfect day!   What a Day!

 

 

Tram heading up the mountain 

What a view from on top of the mountain!  

 

Day 4 of Vacation

Today was an amazing day!   We left Lander Wyoming an headed towards the Grand Tetons.  We stopped at Sacajawea's grave site as it was along the way.  Then onward we went.

We had one funny moment when we came over a mountain pass .  We heard a loud POP!  We both looked at each other and T said, "Did somebody shoot at us?"  LOL   No, it was just a bag of popped popcorn that popped open from the altitude. 

 My breath was taken away when we came up over the hill and there they were, shrouded in clouds, dark and majestic.  The closer we got, my eyes were constantly glued to the breathtaking beauty.  I posted a picture on Facebook that said, "I believe I saw God today."  I meant it.  I had tears in my eyes.  I was so moved.   And the day just got better from there.  

We found a room IN Jackson Hole Wyoming.  O! M! G!!!   I've ALWAYS wanted to visit this place...and here I am..STAYING here!!  Once we got our stuff in the room we set out on the trails up through the mountains.  Gorgeous and a little frightening.  Can't say that I'm a fan of looking over the edge and seeing how long a drop off was.  T drove up but I drove on the way down.  He's been battling headaches which seem to get worse with altitude.  I can honestly say I don't like it when a big semi is riding my a$$ on the way down.  I just prayed that his brakes held out.  LOL

We got back to Jackson Hole and walked around downtown.  My goodness the neat and unique things they have in this town.  And a WHOLE lot of people. 

Good thing is I found my perfect log home...too bad I don't have a cool $2 million to purchase it.  One word...LOTTERY!  :)

Oh well, Don't Stop Beliving!  :)

Signing off from Jackson Hole Wyoming

Day 3 of Vacation

It's safe to say that I'm officially in vacation mode.   For someone who lives by a schedule, I cannot believe that I lost track of the day and time.  I'm relaxed and enjoying it.   So much so that I fear getting back on my hectic schedule will be difficult.

Today started out early.  Up and out of the hotel by 8:00 am.  It wasn't planned, it just happened.   We made our way to Jewel Cave and caught their first scenic tour of the day.   One hour and 30 minutes of walking and steps.   It put yesterday's Wind Cave expedition to shame.  Once again, T and I found ourselves directly behind the tour guide (just like yesterday), and once again, the man with all the questions was T.  :)  He thoroughly enjoyed picking the guide's mind and tidbits of information.  Can't say that I minded at all....we were privy to some interesting tidbits of information that weren't shared with the rest of the tour.

I'm glad that I didn't hit the gym this morning as it was a good exercise as well.  All of those steps were crazy!   And, at one point we were 370 ft below the surface.  I am slightly claustrophobic so that tidbit of information gave me a moment to pause.  But I pulled up my big girl pants and trudged along with the group (with a death grip on T's hand!). 

From there we headed in to Wyoming.   A friend of mine from college lives in Lusk, Wyoming.  Todd Hoelmer does archeological digs in that area and owns a small little show where he displays artifacts from his digs.  I tried to make contact with him while we were in Lusk, but didn't have any success.  Bugger.

We made our way through a whole lot of nothing!  Goodness, we hardly saw an antelope.   Areas of it were pretty, but between Lusk and Casper, well let's just say that I'd hate to have a flat tire.  

We're in Lander Wyoming tonight in a quaint little motel called the Rodeway Pronghorn Inn.  The price is right and the room is as well.  

After a quick walking tour, we're settle in for the night.   Tomorrow we make our way to the Tetons. 

Signing off from Lander Wyoming

Day 2 of Vacation

It rained, pretty much all day - which wasn't entirely a bad thing.   We slept in a little bit (for us 7 am in sleeping in), had breakfast and hit the road at 9 am.   The destination goal today was Mr. Rushmore.  Amazing.   I'd forgotten how breathtaking it was. 

From there we went to Crazy Horse and saw the head that'd been carved out.  It's going to be beautiful when they finish it - which will be quite a while.  

Jewel Cave had an issue with the elevator due to a power surge, so they were suspending tours for the day.   We backtracked and went to Wind Cave.   That was absolutely amazing.  My favorite part of the trip so far.   T and I were first in line behind the tour guide/Ranger.   There was only one more person besides T that was annoying with questions, and that was a little 6 yr old boy.  lol

It was all good though.   We're in Custer tonight and just got to our hotel.   I'm tired.   I did all the driving today as T still isn't feeling the greatest and his back is hurting quite a bit.   So, I'm grateful to relax. 

We're gonna try Jewel Cave in the morning then we're off to Wyoming.  I'm still trying to get in contact with my college friend Todd.  If we connect, I'd like to see him in Lusk.

Signing off from Custer SD

Day 1 of Vacation

Well, we managed to make it through Day 1 without incident.   After much debate on whether we were going to actually go (T hasn't been feeling well the last 4 days), we decided that it was no or never.

We didn't actually get on the road until 9 am because of last minute things in town, but once we hit the road, it was time to hit the cruise, crank up the tunes (or as much as T would let me), and away we went.

We hit the Enchanted Highway and admired some of the iron works (I thought there would be more of them), then down to Belle Fouche and Spearfish.   We found our hotel with no problems and then took off on the scenic byway.   I now have another bucket list item.  :)

We're planning our route through Wyoming right now...kinda...sorta.  We're kinda winging it on this trip...which is good.  

I have a college friend who lives in Lusk Wyoming.  I've tried to make contact with him to see if he's still in town this season or out in the field digging (he digs dinosaur bones).  I'd like to stop in and see him if at all possible.  It's not out of our way to go that direction, so maybe we'll just go there and see if we can make contact.

I didn't hit the gym tonight....but I think I NEED to tomorrow morning before we leave.   I feel like a round barrel.  Uggghhh...HORMONES!!!

Signing Off from Spearfish

Active

Tonight at the gym: 3 sets 8 reps each of lat pulldowns 80 lbs, pushups regular,  shoulder press 20 lbs, hammer curls 15 lbs, lawn mowers 30 lbs and 25 lbs (I wimped out 1/2 way through, skull crushers 25 lbs.

Two miles in the Ecliptical and 2 miles on bike

45 minutes teaching yoga.

And wasn't ready to go inside when it was so nice outside.

Soooo...since hubs wasn't home, I went to Pipestem and did 6 miles biking out there.

Now. .I'm tired.

Can a person change?

When I think about the person I was in my teens and early twenties and compare myself to the person I am today, I don't think I've changed all that much, although some would say that I have.

I'm still the Sherry that likes to laugh, is a bit of a wild-child or free spirit, a dreamer, best friend, beer and wine drinking, rock-n-roll loving, girl who believes the best is in everyone.  The optimist and lover of life.

But the years have added a layer of maturity to that girl.  (One should hope as I'll be 52 in a month).  

The years have shown me difficulties in love and marriage, death of parents and grandparents, loss of friendships, jobs, opportunities, and disappointments and let downs too many to count.   Walls have gone up, crumbled and been resurrected so many times it's hard to count.    But I always manage to find the joy in life not matter how difficult the road has been.

I'm still me..just multidimensional now.  Rather like peeling the layers of an onion.  The layers are Life....the core is Me.

Memory Lane

I was able to connect up with some college friends last night.   It was fun to take a trip down memory lane and reminisce about the good times (and even some of the bad) we experienced in college.   Although we admit that we do not feel like we're in our 50's, we couldn't help but laugh at how the conversation revolved around jobs, children, marriages, and health.  Stark reminders that we are NOT in our 20's anymore. 

 

Dean is perhaps the closest to me.  We keep in contact through txt, facebook and the occasional phone call.   He put out a post on facebook a week ago that simple said, "I sure could use a friend right now."   I called the moment I read it.   He's going through a difficult divorce and just needed to vent.  I listened...that's all I did was listen.   Reward?   The biggest hug and "Thank you" imaginable when I saw him last night.  He will be moving to Iowa within the next couple of months and I made him promise that we'll get together before he leaves. 

 

John and Deb live in town but I rarely see them.  They were college sweethearts that let a misunderstanding break them up.  After 25 years apart, they found their way back to each other.  Their road has been rocky in that they were both married at the time.  They seem to be doing well and it's good to see them together.  I smile when they say it was "their destiny" to end up together.  We made a pact that we'll try to do better in seeing each other socially because, after all, life is too short to say "someday we should do that." 

 

John and Laura have been together since college.   They did end up divorcing about 12 years ago? but found their way back to each other.  They have remarried and seem strong in their relationship.   My relationship with them, however, hit a rocky point about 4 years ago.  After an unfortunate misunderstanding, they made it known that they didn't want anything to do with me ever again and for me to delete them from my world.  Which I did.   Last night was the first time that I'd seen them and they behaved as if nothing had ever happened and we were long lost friends.   I took my queue from them and didn't bring up past hurts.  Bygones...but I won't forget. 

 

I was able to reconnect with Rick (Andy).  That was a flashback reunion to say the least.   He was the one that took me to my very first Road Rally.  Holy Cow. Memories!  It was fabulous to run in to him and to meet his girlfriend Carol.  He happens to share the same birth day as me and this year, we have a Super Moon to celebrate under.    I told him that no matter what we were doing, we would have to stop and raise a glass in toast to each other.  I hope our paths cross again in the future.

 

I was disappointed that more didn't show up - especially those that live in the area.  They may not have the same fond memories of college that I have and may not want to take that trip down memory lane.  I understand.  Life has a way of changing people (both for the good and/or bad).  I'm also not going to worry about it.  I just know that I had an amazing night with some of my lifelong friends, and that is what counts most to me.

 

So until next time when we can manage to get together, I'll continue to travel down memory lane from time to time and celebrate the people who were a part of my past and my present.  

It Was Good

I had a Girls Day away from Jamestown this weekend.   I started planning this about a month ago....   Capital Grounds Craft Fair, Spa Appointments and dinner at a nice restaurant.  This day was with some of my circle of best friends: Donna, Vickie and Ginny.

 

Although the day didn't go off completely as planned, it was good! We ended up coming back to town earlier than expected, then headed to VC for dinner at City Lights.  Great Food1  I highly recommend it to those looking for an out of town dinning experience.

 

We cruised VC for a little bit, then came back to Jamestown.   I wasn't ready to call it a night, so I cruised out to Pipestem with the sunroof open and the tunes blasting.   I was reliving the day and smiling.

 

I have such an eclectic group of friends, and I love each and every one of them.  We all have our idiosyncrasies but for the most part, we ignore them and embrace each other as the unique individuals that we are. 

 

We came to the realization that we need to do more of these types of things.  We, as women, tend to do everything for everyone...except ourselves.   So, we started planning our outings.   The next one will be in September and we'll be visiting a new Wine Bar in Fargo.  We're still looking for a designated driver.  We can use my vehicle but I'm not driving on that one!

 

Today I went out to the Pipestem and completed the North Ridge trail.  I did good and enjoyed the hell out of it, right up to the last hill where I wiped out.  The trail is beautiful and challenging and I did most of it on the bike.   I was in the mood for a challenge, and I got it.   Loved every minute of it but I was tired at the end.  I sat on the bench by the Rock and just watched enjoyed the quietness and beauty.   Did some thinking, some remembering, some tears, some laughter, and some smiles.  Don't know if it was hormones or just the need to release stress...but a good cry can do wonders.

 

Regardless ...it was a good weekend. 

 

It Was Good. 

Crash Day

Today's Sunday. I've got so many things running through my head that I'm not sure where to start writing. 

 

I've been going at a good pace since the end of May.  I've been doing more yoga classes, been exercising more, riding bike, paying more attention to my diet and just living life.  So much so that I'm a little tired. 

 

Today I'm crashing. Seriously crashing.  Need to do that once in a while. 

 

I've been enjoying this summer, although it doesn't feel like we've had one; the weather hasn't been as hot as I'd like it.  You know me...flip flops and tank tops.   I have had a few really good times though.  I took Blaine to the Stutsman County Fair and Johnny Holm.  We had a great time.  One of the hi-lights for me was when the band played "Don't Stop Believing."  That has always been a special song for me and it has recently become a favorite of Blaine's as well.   When it started, Blaine's face lit up and he started singing with the biggest smile on his face. It made me smile but the best part was when he grabbed me in a big hug and said, "this is the BEST night of my life." That made my heart smile and my eyes water.  Of course, it could've been eased along by the fact that he had a couple of beers.   Whatever the case, it was a great night.  I got to spend it with Blaine and see some of my very good friends as well.

 

I've been riding a lot of bike lately.  Last week Sunday I went on an amazing bike ride around the Jamestown Reservoir and the Pipestem Dam.   I went 16 miles in a little over 2 hours.  It was peaceful, calming and just what I needed.   I got a lot of flack when I bought the bike. I was told I wouldn't use it, and that it'd just collect dust or that it's a phase.   I think I've proven that wrong; I'm on it whenever I can find the time between home, work, yoga and gym.  I feel like a kid again when I'm peddling. 

Next week Saturday I'm going with four of my besties to Bismarck.  I'm driving and we're taking off at 8:30 am.  The agenda is to hit the craft fair on the Capitol grounds at 10:00 am, our Spa appointments at 12:00 pm, and Riverboat cruise at 3:00 pm.  From there, we're probably going to go to do some shopping and then to a really nice restaurant before heading home.  I've been planning it for about six weeks and have been looking forward to it.  I think it'll be a great time.

 

T and I are finally going on a vacation the end of August.  It'll be the first time in 20 years that we'll be gone longer than 24 hrs away from the farm.  At this point, we're headed towards Wyoming to the Tetons. While I'm looking forward to getting to see some different scenery, I'm a little anxious to be in a car, driving, with him, for long distances.  That means ...we'll have to talk. Anyone who knows T knows that he does NOT talk.  lol

 

I have only one more thing I need to do before the snow (yes, I uttered the four letter word!) starts flying.   Attend a bonfire.  Somehow, someway, I'll get to a bonfire.  I would have one here, but T is against having them.  He's like his mother in that he's worried that a spark will fly away and start a massive fire that will burn down our house and all of Stutsman County.   Did I also mention that he's a pessimist?  Maybe I can convince him to rethink the bonfire on our trip to Wyoming.  After all, he WILL be a captive audience, won't he?  :)

 

 Even though I'm tired, my mind and body are itching to keep moving.  I was listening to my older brother Ron and sister Pat talking while down at Terry' recently.  Ron has always been a pacer and doesn't sit still for long.  What I didn't know was that my sister Pat is like that too.  She said she finds it difficult to sit and watch a TV show without constantly getting up to do something.  That's how I am today.  I thought it was unique only to me but perhaps it's a family trait.  :)

 

So for now, I'm going to go and see if I can quiet myself down enough to read a book or watch a movie.

 

Namaste'

 

Sherry

A year ago

Today...I was in Minot with three of my best friends attending the Journey concert at the NDSF.  That night, without a doubt,  goes down as one of those memories I'll take with me forever.

The day was nothing less than perfect...weather, the company I was with, the jubilant spirit and attitude of everyone and of course, the music of my ALL time favorite band.  The night was perfect.  And you know what?  So is the memory of it.

Rant

I grew up in a time when if you wanted something you worked for it. Money, body, home, car, clothes, job, relationship,  food.

I see a different type of person these days.  Its not what can I do for you...its what can you do for me.  Starting wage?  Please.  They walk in to a job interview and expect the cream job with the pay to go with it.  What...you expect me to actually work to earn a paycheck?  Sorry. .I dont work.  I'm out here!

It's sad and I see it and hear it all the time.  No one wants to drive an old beater of a car anymore or wear thrift store clothes or live on a budget.  The new norm is to expect the best, get the best, without working to EARN the best.

And lets talk about the "quitting" factor.  What kind of society are we when we'd rather quit than fix?  Dont like something happening at work? Quit.  Don't like to exercise cuz its painful or you might have to sweat?  Just quit...go to the doctor for a pill...and if they don't give it to you, just quit them too.

Far too many people ..young AND old...need to learn the word patience and work ethic. 
Learn how to appreciate what you have..especially when you pour your heart and soul in to working for it and EARNING it!

Better yourself,  yes....EXPECT it to be handed to you. .NO!

Dry Spell

Sometimes I'm at a loss for words.  (Hey!  It can happen!).  I run out of things to blog about.  Or maybe it's just that I haven't been inspired about anything lately.  As a result, I haven't exactly been burning up the keyboards to post anything on my blog recently.

But I think I'm out of my funk and have some things I'd like to blog about.

So be prepared...my quiet spell has ended.  Lucky you! :)

Stay Tuned

Running of the Pink

Today is the Running of the Pink, a local 5 & 10K run fundraiser to benefit breast cancer.  I've taken part in it before and had a blast.  Unfortunately I scheduled yoga for this morning without realizing The Pink was also today.

I have several friends running or walking it today and my heart is with them.  They run in honor of friends or family that have waged a battle against breast cancer or cancer in general.

My immediate family has not been affected by cancer ..thus far...and I pray that continues.  It's scary and it takes far too many people from this world.

So to those running or walking today. ..I'm with you in spirit.   :)

Sunrise

Mornings are my favorite time of day.  There's something so magical about watching the sun come up.  And with it the promise of good things.

I had a power yoga class this morning at 6-6:45.  Although numbers were small, the energy was uplifting.

Mornings.  I love them.

Our Deepest Fear

I was watching the movie "Coach Carter" last night.  It's a very good movie about how a coach turns around the lives of young men on a high school basketball team.  There is a scene in the movie that touched me, greatly.   It a recitation of a poem by Marianne Williamson.   Although the movie clip I'm going to share with you deviates slightly from the poem, the meaning is still the same. 

(I actually like the movie version of the poem better).

Our Deepest Fear - Clip from Coach Carter

OUR DEEPEST FEAR  by Marianne Williamson                    

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

Dang Scale

I hate that little piece of iron.   One day it's good to me and all is right with the world.  The next day it's mean to me and the world is a cruel place.  

I know I shouldn't place so much importance on the numbers that greet me every morning.  But I do.  I have worked hard to get where I'm at and I swear by all things holy that I will NOT go back to the weight I logged 16 years ago.  Never.  Ever!

So while I battle this middle-aged spread thing that I have going on right now...real or perceived...I try to remember ALL of the nutrition advice I've received throughout the years from nutritionists and trainers. 

Start my day with breakfast which includes a protein, carb and a fruit
Eat fruits before noon (gives body time to process the natural sugars)
Don't eat any carbs after 5pm. (gives body time to process carbs in to sugars)
Focus on protein
Quit drinking pop - even diet (too much sodium)
Drink water and lots of it
To lose 1lb of fat in one week, I need to cut 3,500 calories out of my diet
One lb of muscle burns an extra 50 calories per day - resting.  *Takeaway - Lift weights!*
Stay away from processed  carbs - white sugar, white flour.

Pretty sure there is more but these are the ones that stand out in my head. 

The numbers on the scale don't define who I am...I just know that I feel much MUCH better when I'm seeing lighter numbers on the scale.  Clothes fit better, I'm not as tired and I feel more motivated to make the daily changes I need to make when I see progress.

So, I pack my lunch every day and stay away from fast food.  I treat myself but hit the gym as soon as possible to work off those extra calories.   

I know I'm not alone in my battle.   There is comfort in knowing my misery is shared with others.   So may we support each other in our weight loss vision quest and defeat the scale!

Puppys

I took an ICAP dog out of the facility today and had him with me at my desk.   Sort of.   Elliott is this cute golden lab with a whole lot of attitude and personality.   It was his first time out of the prison other than for visits with the vet.

He is in the training phase and needs to be able to have exposure to all kinds of stimulus.  As soon as he hit the main gate, he had exposure.  Oh my gosh!  It's a wonder that I have an arm left.   I do not know if it was a combination of coming out of the facility, me being female or the fact that I didn't enforce the commands sternly enough.  Whatever it was, Elliott wasn't the stellar dog that I felt he should've been.  

He wouldn't sit or stay when commanded.   I had to repeat a command more than once...and in training, that isn't good.  It means the dog isn't focused on me, the handler.

I've had four dogs out now and I haven't had any problems with any of them until today.   I didn't give him very good marks on his "outing report card."   But I also stated that I felt it was a combination of things that made him hyper.

I'm not easily defeated.  I will take Elliott out again, and I will make sure that he gets a better score. 

Attitude and Disappointment

How does one keep a positive attitude in the shadow of a huge disappointment? 

JRCC is in the middle of a huge...I mean, HUGE, transformation.  The Warden of 16 years took another position within the DOCR.   His vacancy left the door open for upward movement through the ranks.   We've recently hired (from within) a new Warden, Deputy Warden, Chief of Security, Unit Manager, new Captain, two new Lieutenants and two new Lieutenants. 

With all of those promotions comes both joy,  for those who received the promotions, and disappointment for those who were not fortunate to be promoted.

There are so many hard feelings running through the staff.  Why did "they" get it over me?  I've been here longer!  I've worked hard to get where I'm at!  What could I have done differently?  I deserved the promotion, they didn't.

I feel for them.  I do.   I wish everyone could come out on top.  But there are only so many positions and not everyone can win. 

For those that were promoted, I congratulate you.   I have opinions about some of those promotions, but will not voice them.   Time will tell whether the right decisions were made.   PERFORMANCE will confirm it.  

For those that were not promoted....I say this....take a long, hard look at yourself.  Were you really prepared for the interview?  Do you view each day as a learning experience.   Do you know the facility and the daily in's and out's or running it?  Or do you go through the day on autopilot and just 'put in the time'?   What can YOU do better each and every day when you report to the front gate?
Are you a negative nelly - always the first to play the blame game?  Or are you one to take charge and dig down deep and go that extra mile to help fix that which is wrong?  Are you quick to criticize and the last to applaud effort?  Are you really a team player when it counts?  Or do you have that sense of entitlement? 

Morale is low....there is a lot of negative vibrations going through the facility.  I'm doing what I can to bring morale up...but I'm only one person.   Small things mean a lot...true...but it's going to take a whole lot of small things to turn things around.   Management has a long road ahead of them.  Change, in any organization, is inevitable.   It's how that change is handled that determines the final outcome.

Attitude can make or break an organization or institution.  Let's hope it doesn't break ours.  We can't afford to show weakness in front of the inmates.  But I'm afraid that's already happened.

Happy Easter

It''s Easter Sunday and spring has finally sprung in ND...at least for today.   The temperature is a balmy 73 degrees with a 25mph wind.   Windows are open and I'm loving it.  

I cook dinner for my in-laws today.   Originally it was just going to be me, T and Ella but I invited Bill and Jackie yesterday.  I always make far too much food as it is so I knew I had plenty.  I haven't seen them since they came back from wintering in Arizona.  Ham, mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole, burnt buns and orange dreamsicle jello soup (my jello wouldn't set).     Oh, and Angelfood cake with strawberries, glaze and whipped cream.

As I was slicing the store bought Angelfood cake, I remembered my mother.   Angelfood was her absolute favorite.   She used to make them from scratch and when she did, she'd make 4 or 5 at a time.  She didn't frost them or anything - it was just plain, no fuss, no muss.   When she was on kidney dialysis, us kids would treat her once in a while with a piece or two.  Her eyes would light up and her smile would grow wider.   She loved her Angelfood cake.    So today, I remembered my mom as I sliced the cake.   I smiled as I had my first bite and thought of her. 

After everyone left and T went out to look for arrowheads, I changed clothes and went for a bike ride.   I bought a mountain bike at Scheels on Thursday.  Why?   Why not?!   Since I cannot run anymore and the doctor said that riding bike would be good for my knee to keep it moving and to strengthen the muscle., I decided to purchase a bike and give it a shot.  

I took it for it's maiden voyage today.  It went pretty good.  I didn't fall off or go ass over tea kettle.   The gravel is a little tough to ride on though as the gravel stones threaten my forward motion.  lol   I'm going to have to find some prairie trails to ride so that I don't get thrown from my aluminum ride. 
I went 3 miles today.  It feels good...I can tell I am going to need a few accessories....bike gloves being one of them.  The grooves of the handlebars were cutting in to my hand.   Of course, perhaps it was the death grip I had on them that was the cause of the pain and not the grooves :)  I can tell already that I'm going to have fun on the bike...exploring and just getting out in nature.  Thursday nights, Friday nights and Saturdays and Sundays are going to be riding days.  

What's on deck for the upcoming week?  Yoga and gym...pretty much the story of my life.  

Have a good one everyone.  

Pearls of Wisdom

I received this in an email a long time ago and saved it.  I'd forgotten that I had it until I was looking through folders for something else.   I thought that I'd share it with all of you :)

a. take good care of yourself... oftentimes we think we should put our families and others ahead of us, but if we do that, then who would they rely on when we fall sick or aren't giving 100% because we don't have it to give? sleep good, eat healthy, dress well, exercise, meditate (prayer, quiet time, whatever... give your mind some 'away' time too). Not only does this give us the strength and energy to care for others, it is an excellent role model for our friends and families... people learn behaviors from watching not from listening. How many of us would tell our children 'do as I say, not as I do'... change that. Show them how you want them to be by
living it yourself.

b. speak positively - always - India Arie sings a song called 'Get it together' in which she says "because the words that come from your mouth, you're the first to hear. Speak words of beauty and you will be there. No matter what anybody says, what matters most is what you think of yourself" The idea is that whatever comes from you... comes out of you, originates from within. When we say something mean, or crude, or crass... when we swear... the ugly things that are uttered come from inside us and reflect who we are. Most of us are a lot better than that... show your best side when you speak - you do a disservice to yourself if you show anything less. Let go of those things inside you that are not who you really want to be, you are the master of your future... you own it, it's all yours. You write it. You make it. You do it. Blame no one else. Speaking positively all the time (or at least as often as possible) keeps your mind in a positive state, improves your mood, and improves the moods of those around you. There's not really a downside!

c. forgive yourself & forgive others - we are all human, fallible as a consequence of birth. We make mistakes. Sometimes the wrong that we do is intentional and then we regret it later. Carrying guilt around in your heart does you no good, nor does it benefit anyone else. There is no benefit to guilt, not even to one who tries to give it. If you are sorry for a wrong you've done, say you are sorry - not expecting forgiveness, only because you truly are sorry. Apologize and then walk away. If you are forgiven, great! If not, it is irrelevant. Is your apology contingent on it's acceptance? It shouldn't be. You are admitting a mistake, it's up to the other person to accept it or not, and that has nothing to do with you; you did your part, you said you were sorry... let the guilt go and be at peace. Dragging guilt around with you only weighs you down and holds you back. Don't do that to yourself, no one is going to save you from it. You have to let it go... and walk away.

d. laugh often, love much, forgive always (even if you don't forget - these are two totally different things) and choose to make some of your dreams happen, even if they are just little ones.

Changes

Seems like every day we are faced with change of some sort. 

Today the new warden of JRCC was a announced.   He's worked at the JRCC for 16 years.   I like him snd believe he'll do a good job.  But with the announcement comes realization of change within our office and the JRCC.  It should be interesting around here to say the least. 

Fasten the seatbelts and stay tuned.

Addiction

My nephew, Travis Schutt, ended up in the hospital last weekend due to complications from alcoholism.  First in Jamestown where we visited him Saturday night.  He was detoxing and could hardly breathe.  We talked to him as much as we could but he was pretty out of it.   Sunday he transferred to Sanford in Fargo to the ICU.  His brother, Robert, kept us informed and said they drained 2.5 liters of fluid from the sac around his heart.  Not good.  I was planning a trip to Fargo with one of my best friends Becky on Sunday afternoon and Monday, so was able to visit with Travis on Monday morning.  Thank goodness Becky was understanding when her shopping was cut to just a few hours due to the time that I spent at the hospital with Travis.

The visit started out alright but didn't end well. I turned in to the aunt from hell when he made light of the situation he was in and refused to accept that alcohol played a role in his hospitalization.   Travis comes from a line of alcoholics; his grandfather, his uncles, his father.   Although Tom and his brother Bill are sober and have been for over 30 years now, Travis' father, Doug, drinks - again (he was sober and started up again within the last 5 years).

Our other nephew, Robert, has been through this with Travis before, although not to this extent.  Tom has been in contact with Robert about how to deal with Travis and his addiction but has yet to speak with Travis.  I, on the other hand, want to get in Travis' face and make him realize that he cannot do this to his body anymore.  The next time he may not be so lucky.

He's transferred to a nursing home here in Jamestown to get stronger with physical and occupational therapy before he can go to the State Hospital for treatment.   The sad thing is, there is virtually no family support for him.  His mother is on the west coast, his sisters are on the east coast as his is father.  The family he has here is Robert, Tom and me  (Bill is in AZ dealing with his own health issues).

I've never had to deal with anyone battling alcohol addiction.  I'm a fixer...and I want to fix this, him...but I cannot.  It's something that he has to do himself. 

Valentine's Day

I remember the days of yesteryear when I used to spend weeks designing my Valentine's box.  I'd consult with my father on size and materials and what I should say on it.  He had the patience of a Saint when I would coerce him in to helping me build the masterpiece.   We could be found forehead to forehead with the Elmers Glue, duct tape, wrapping paper or brown bags..whatever was handy. 

Mom would stay in the background but was always quick at hand when we needed another opinion.   She'd put her two cents in, usually accompanied with popcorn and a cup of hot cocoa, then head back to the kitchen to finish the cupcakes or cookies I'd carry with pride to school the next day.

Mom would sit with me for hours and help me pick out just the right valentine for each of my classmates.  She always affirm my decision with a nod of the head or "that would be perfect for her/him".  And she was always so interested to see the ones I received in return.

It was a simple time.  It was the best of times.  The love my parents had for me was amazing.

Today I remember...today I miss those moments...today I love.

Happy Valentine's Day to those in my life.

Promise Yourself

A very dear friend of mine sent this to me the other day and I absolutely loved it.  So much so that I wanted to share it with you.

“Promise Yourself”

to be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

 Christian D. Larson, Your Forces and How to Use Them

Friends

I was invited to a wine party last night at my friend Sarena Ebel's home.   It was a wine tasting party put on by Jan of Traveling Vinyards.   It was my third party.   Apparently everyone knows that I like wine.

It was a small group of ladies; seven of us.   We shared some wonderful food that Sarena prepared with the sole purpose of complimenting the wine.  It was scrumptious!   The food was good too!  :)

What was even better was time spent with friends.  I got to see Ginny Kleven again and gave her a big hug.  She's a wonderful lady who has had some heartache recently in her life.  She just lost her sister-in-law to cancer.  As she was leaving she told me  that her brother Mark isn't doing well.  He's down in Texas at the Cancer Center and is to the point of being put in a nursing home as he isn't strong enough to make the trip back home to ND.  She cried.  All I could do was hold her and tell her that I was here for her whenever she needed me.  I felt for her; I will keep her, her brother Mark and the entire Kartes family in my prayers.

Donna, Sarena and I went to The Buff to the farewell party of Julie Montgomery, an educator at JRCC who resigned her position as of Friday.  Though I do not know the full reason for her resignation, I suspect there was a lot of internal conflict between Bismarck Central Office and the staff at JRCC.   She was good and implemented a lot of good things for the inmates at JRCC.   I wish her well.

Donna and I made a quick stop at IDK before I took her home and hit the road myself.   For some reason I am getting free XM-Sirus radio - I believe it to be a promotional thing - and I hit on 80's on 8.   A perfect way to end an enjoyable evening out with friends - the Journey song "Only The Young" hit the airwaves. 

My Mother-In-Law

Today was Saturday and mother-in-law day.  I picked her up after my yoga class and instantly because concerned.   She looked rough and instantly told me she didn't want to go for lunch after grocery shopping.

We did go shopping and I made sure to keep an eye on her in the store; I was never very far away from her.  When we got home, I sat with her and we talked for a little while.   The truth came out.  My mother-in-law, for the first time ever in my presence, broke down and cried. 

She is so worried about her sons Bill, Leroy and Doug, as well as her granddaughter Pennie.  She worries continually and today it was too much for her.   She cried; I cried.   I gave her a hug and she just sobbed, "I feel so helpless. I cannot help any one of them."

I felt helpless because I couldn't  help her.   I held her and shed tears right along with her.   I tried to comfort her and tell her that she has to let them lead their own lives and that no one can fix their lives but themselves. 

She's a 93 year old lady who shouldn't have to worry about her grown sons and grandchildren.

Family

I had the great fortune of spending time with my sisters Pat, Judy and Peggy and Thursday night.  We haven't had the chance to get together in quite some time.  We used to get together more often but these days, not so much. and I don't know why really.   Pat and Judy are retired but busy with their families, home and Church.  Peggy and  I work and are equally busy with our lives.  

I guess it doesn't matter as long we continue to get together.  

I smiled when I walked in saw the three of them sitting at the table, eating popcorn and chicken wings.  After the day I had on Thursday, they were exactly what I needed.

We had so much to discuss and so much ground to cover!  I don't think any of us came up for air until we were ready to leave!   We had good food and drink and covered all the important topics - family, health, weather, family, what we do with our days, family, family, family.

Our mother passed away 20 years ago on the 29th (Wednesday), so we took a moment to remember her, and of course, our father. 

We really are quite fortunate that we are all in close proximity of each other - all within a 100 miles - and still relatively healthy.  (We won't get on the subject of those aches and pains that keep popping up on us).

My sister Pat is the oldest.  She was out of the house raising her family when I was born; there are 21 years between us.  When I was younger that used to bother me a lot because she didn't seem like a sister to me.   We didn't have all that much in common.   But as I've become older we have become closer and I treasure her beyond belief.   Of all of my sisters, she reminds me the most of our mother.  She loves her family so much and it is that quality that I admire in her the most.

As I sit here and write this, I smile and think about all the good times I have had with my sisters. We may not speak with each other every day, week or month - but when we do get together there is nothing stronger than the bond of sisters.  

I love them all so very very much and only wish that I could spend more time with them. 

We will make a point of getting together as soon as we can to laugh and be together, as sisters. We need to take advantage of the time we have together.

Questions

I love the questions people ask.  When they receive an unsatisfactory answer they're bound and determind to get it out of you.

It's quite comical.  The less I say, the more they ask.  I know these people well.  They are less concerned about my welfare and more focused on a juicy piece of gossip that can be spread about until eventually any residue of truth is lost with each telling.

I saw a quote recently that amused me.
"Better to hear it from the horses mouth than from some jackass spreading rumors and gossip."

How true is that?!

If you're part of my circle of "besties" you will hear from me.  If you want to know something,  ask me.  If I want you to know I will tell you.  That simple.

Next time someone with questionable motives asks me a question I choose not to answer, they'll get a smile and. "Why do you want to know?

Light

It's 7:39 am and I see a hint of dawn on the horizon.   There IS hope that Spring is approaching!

My FitBit

So I asked for, and received, for Christmas....a Fit Bit.   What is a Fit bit?   It this little piece of technology that you wear on your body - in my case, my wrist - that measures the amount of activity that you do on a daily basis.  

The idea is to register 10,000 steps  - which supposedly is equivalent to 5 miles.

I've been wanting one for some time now.   So I was excited to strap it on my wrist and see just how much activity I get each day.  Surely , between the gym and my yoga classes, I hit that 10,000 step goal each and every day.

Not! 

I was amazed at how little activity I get daily.  Most of days I average between 7500 - 8500 steps.  I have a desk job and I try consciously to get off my chair at least once or twice an hour just to break up the monotony of what I'm doing and to stretch out my body.  But at the end of an 8 hour work day I'm lucky if I have 3000 steps.  Thank goodness for yoga and the gym because they help me get the steps that I do get.

Today I hit the gym and did an hour of cardio and walked around Wal-Mart - My fit bit is registering 6,112 steps.   What??!!     I have until bedtime to register another 3,888 steps.  Guess I'm going to have to do some jumping jacks, lunges and maybe some pushups or something.   Hmmmm....maybe!

The other nifty part of this fit bit thing is that you can compete with other fit bit users to see who can get the most steps.   Now I'm a competitive person - with myself.  I'm not so concerned with competing with others right now, as I am with getting my numbers higher than they are.

I have already determined that starting this week, on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays (my non-gym days), I'm going to walk through the administration building during my lunch - all four floors (steps included), and also do some time on the Eliptical for the remainder of the time.   I do not need 45 minutes to drink my protein shake and/or eat my soup.   I could be doing some exercise that will benefit me in the long run . both mentally and physically.

On a side note - I've already made the decision that this spring I am going to get a mountain bike and ride the trails out at the Rreservoir and explore the Pipestem Dam.  I need something that'll get me outdoors and enjoying the beautiful weather.  And, since I cannot run and the doctor suggested bicycling as exercise and to strengthen my knee and quads, that's my exercise of choice.  Yes, it'll be spendy, but I figure that my health and mental well being is worth it!  (The heck with the nay-sayers!).

I wonder how many steps my fit bit will register then?   Might just have to open my profile up then and start competing with the Lorenzs, Jacksons and Voeltzs!   lol

PS:  The one time my fit bit exceeded 10,000 steps was last week Saturday at the JRCC party.  I registered 13,756!    Who says dancing isn't good exercise (for body and soul!) LOL

Intolerance

I'm amazed at how judgemental or intolerant society has become.  We're quick to bring the gavel down on a person simply because they are different.  Negativity is abundant everywhere you look.  Is it a wonder we feel defeated before we get out of bed and start our day.

Just once I'd like to hear praise instead of cutting words or judgement.   No one is perfect and if you think you are, ask someone.  They'll be all too happy to inform you of your shortcomings. 

Signed,

Tired in ND

Sometimes All You Need To Do is Bust a Move!

Sometimes all you need is a night out with friends to shake the funk.

 

Last night was the annual JRCC Holiday Party - this year hosted by B shift as it was their days off. 

 

I  had mixed emotions about going (some days I wanted it and other days I didn't want to go) because of the funk that I've been in lately.   But I donned my Sioux hockey jersey and made my way to the KC Hall at 430 to meet with my friends Vickie and Donna for a pre- party drink.

 

I made the right decision in going as those two women - each representing a very important part of my "bestie" circle of friends - made me feel better immediately.   Their hugs, smiles and laughter lifted my spirits and made me forget about my funk.

 

As others arrived that feeling of buoyancy intensified.  Drinks were shared, laughter was abundant, the joy of friendship was evident.  I was able to give hugs to Holly, who has spent the last 9 months battling cancer - and Won!  Her hugs, her smiles and her sheer joy at being able to celebrate life in the moment was a reminder to me to live each day.  I learned that another co-worker is in the hospital in Fargo with cancer.  My heart goes out to you Lloyd; you'll be in my daily thoughts and prayers in hopes that you, too, can beat this. 

 

Everyone has a battle they are fighting, but that battle can be just a little bit lighter when the burden is shared with friends who care about you and love you. 

 

B-shift outdone themselves with a funny program, crowd participating with JRCC Jeopardy, a dance-off , beer pong, prize drawings, and other activities.  But the fun part came when the dancing started.  It didn't matter who you danced with because everyone was dancing with everyone. 

 

It was joy; it was uplifting.  It's impossible to have a bad time if you have happy feet - and I had happy feet.  

 

 I don't get to dance often (hubs hates dancing), so when I get the opportunity to put on my boogie shoes, I grab it with both hands...errrr....feet...whatever.  lol.    Thank you to ALL of my dancing partners.  A big thank you to my co-worker (aka yoga student) Mike for requesting Free by Zac Brown Band and asking me to dance with him.  He and his wife Michelle are such wonderful spirits in my life - I can't thank them enough for their subtle  words of encouragement this week.   ((hugs to both of you)).  I truly now them as my friends in life. 

 

I was homeward bound when the song "Don't Stop Believing" came over the radio.  Several times this week that song came on the radio - once played by a wonderful DJ Chris Kodiak who knows of my love for Journey and dedicated it to me. 

 

Yes, sometimes the way to forget about the funk for a little while, is to bust a move and Believe!

Post Holiday Yucks

I do not know why but I have a case of the yucks.  No, that's not true.  I DO know why I have the yucks.

 

The holidays are over, the winter is 40 days long (since our first snow) and it's been brutally cold, I've been sick with a monumental cold since Christmas, hubs has been very sick.  And I have friends going through some dark times in their lives (and my heart aches for them).  Oh, and it's tax season. 

 

All perfectly good reasons to put me in this funk that I'm in.   I literally haven't been eating for a couple of days because my stomach is upset.  When I do eat, nothing tastes good.  Have to admit, that's not a bad thing when it comes to the scale.  (Those holiday pounds are now gone).

 

I try hard not to slide in to a slump but this time of year always gets to me; I struggle every year.  This depression or SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) sucks.  And I'm not alone. I have a friend experiencing  sadness also.  I'm not able to be my usual supportive self, it's even more frustrating.  I hope they know that I'm here for them with whatever they may need.  I don't want to be  pushy  and keep hounding saying "I'm here for you" all the time.  I know how I feel when I'm going through personal stuff.  I need space to get inside my head and to find my way through the darkness.   I'm thinking that's the way they're choosing to deal with it too and I understand. 

 

2014 is already starting to be a year of change. 

 

Today was interesting at work.  The Warden announced that he's leaving effective March 1st to take another "new" position within the DOCR.  It's going to make things interesting at JRCC for the next 2-3 months as the application/interview process starts.  If it's filled with someone in house, whose position will open up next?

 

The trainers at Anytime Fitness are leaving their corporation Ultra-Body Fitness and will be managed by the owner of AF, Matt.  Personally I think this change will be a good one...I hope.  They were talking about raising my rates, but I was quite vocal about it.  I've had trainers ever since they opened and I locked in one of the lowest rates available.  They listened...for now.

 

I do not know what other changes are in store...but whatever they are, I hope that I'm in the right frame of mind to handle them.  

 

 

 

 

Deep Freeze

The temperature is -17 degrees with a windchill of -47.  Nice.  The wind is howling across the prairie and all I can think of is, I want to live in Bora Bora! Not realistic, I know, but it sure gives me warmth just thinking about it - and on a day like today, any type of warmth is welcomed!

So far today I've:
breaded/browned  goose legs and put them in the crock pot with a cream sauce
cleaned the bathroom - more like disinfected everything that the cold germ can live on
made caramel rolls
swept the kitchen floor, vacuumed and dusted (I hate dusting)
set the coffee maker for tomorrow
packed my yoga bag for tomorrow (1st class of 2014!)
done three loads of laundry, folded and put away

What I still need to do:
update my yoga blog
pack my lunch for tomorrow
put my yoga stuff back in my vehicle

I definitely have more energy than I did last weekend when I was down and out.  I'm still at 70% of my normal me but trying hard not to push it too hard.  I don't want a relapse of whatever I was sick with.   It's going to be difficult as it is due to my schedule.  M - Yoga, Tue-gym and Yoga, Wed - Yoga, Thur - Gym.  Friday - off, Sat - Gym, Sun - Gym.   (Saturday and Sunday gym dates are depending on how I'm feeling).   

Hubster is suffering through a relapse this weekend.  I think he's been awake a total of maybe 2 hours all day.  His fever spiked last night but its down to a low grade fever today...manageable...so far.   He's in the bedroom watching his shows and I'm in the living room doing the channel flipping thing. 

I have nervous energy.  I've spent more time at home in the last two weeks than I have in the last three months.  I took two weeks off from yoga so give my body a break.  I think the Higher Power had me get sick cuz the Universe knew that I'd pack all my days/nights with activities on the free nights off from yoga.  I had no choice but to stay home and rest.  lol. 

Tomorrow will be my first full week of work in two.  Yuck.  BUT...I'm off on the 17th for Martin Luther King Jr. Day....so a short week is in the sights.  Do-able.