Awaiting 2014

The new year is soon to arrive in a few hours.   While 2013 hasn't been a bad year, it hasn't been a stellar year.  I'm not complaining, just stating a fact.  It's part of life.  

I don't believe in resolutions, therefore I don't make them.   Why?

 Two reasons:
1) Resolutions last for about a month or for however long it takes for people to perceive those resolutions as having failed and therefore give up hope of change.
2) Every day is a new day and a chance to get it right.   A New Year arriving doesn't make things magically better.   It takes daily work and commitment to change something.

 Example: You don't run a marathon without training your body...changing your body...conditioning....in order to run 26.2 miles.   If you do, you will fail.  It takes commitment and a desire.

Same things happen with resolutions.  It takes daily commitment and desire or will  to make changes.  They don't magically happen with the arrival of a new year. 

I digress. 

Are there things I'd like to change?  Sure.  And just like last year, I'm not going to list them here.  I know what they are and will be working on them each and every day.   Those close to me, and paying attention, will notice (hopefully), but if not, that is alright too.

I think everyone  can do with a little self-improvement.  Be better wives, husbands, sisters, brothers, children, grandchildren, aunts, uncles, cousins,  friends, employees, yoga teachers, trainers, etc.  

We can start by loving more, thinking more positively ,communicate more,  assume less, judge less, encourage more,  find less blame, take more responsibility, understand more, be more patient, be more fun to be around, live each day to the fullest, whine less, act more, be strong  and ...in general...find our mojo and be better people.  

What a concept.  :)

By the way, here is the definition of mojo

1. A magic charm or spell.

2. An amulet, often a small flannel bag containing one or more magic items, worn by adherents of hoodoo or voodoo.

3. Personal magnetism; charm.

So while I'm not in a hurry to close the book on 2013, I am going to welcome in the new year the same as I do each day....with wonder  and gratitude.

 Wonder at what new possibilities await me and gratitude that I get another day to get it right.

Happy New Year Friends and Family.

I Love You All!
'

I hate being sick!

I am not a fan of being sick (who is, really) but I have been just that...sick..for the last three days.   I started to not feel well on Thursday afternoon when at work.  I developed a nose bleed out of the blue which was quite hard to get under control.  It took me  20 minutes.   Unpleasant to say the least.   Then my lungs started hurting...in actuality, it felt like I was having a heart attack, that's how heavy my chest felt. 

I sat at my desk and did something that I rarely do - I think I've done it once before in five years - I cancelled my training session with Nick at the gym.  I know!!  I was THAT sick!!

I went home, got in my jammies and headed to bed.  Friday was a new day and I would feel all better.  Right?   Wrong!

 I had taken Friday off as a gift to myself so that I could maybe take my nieces Karen and Wendi out for lunch, coffee or a movie. I hadn't made plans...I was going to ask them Thursday, but I GOT SICK!

I literally have been sick all weekend.  My movement has been from recliner to bed to kitchen to bathroom only to be repeated at various times and intervals. 

I sound like a bullfrog croaking in the height of night.  My eyes look like I've gone three rounds with a prize fighter in the ring and my nose is as raw as a piece of red meat (same prize fight match I guess!).  I ache all over and my temperature hasn't gone below  102 for three days now.  (Gives a whole new meaning to hot flash let me tell ya!)

And don't even get me started out those over the counter medicines.  You know the ones you take for the "snuffy nose, headache, cough so you can sleep" medicines.   Ya.  I was still awake at 3 am this morning.  Bored. Out. Of. My Gourd!!!  A 101 channels to watch on Dish Network and nothing to watch but religion programming and shopping network.  Oh wait!  There was this one show about how total knee replacement parts are made.  That was REAL comforting and interesting to know.  Not!

So ya...I'm cranky, I'm sick, and I'm not liking that I've been stuck prisoner in my home due to this ailment that has me in "time out" (as one of my Facebook friends called it). 

I'm a little disappointed in my body right now...I thought I was stronger than this.   When this cold gets done kicking my ass, I'm gonna do some whoopin on my body!! 

Another One in The Memory Banks

It's Christmas evening and I'm sitting here in my recliner with my sweatpants, sweatshirt and fuzzy socks on.   I'm tired but very, very content.  My heart is full of all things good tonight and I have a warm fuzzy feeling. 

My Christmas started last night with my yearly trek to my sister Peggy's home.  I've been going there on Christmas Eve for 42 years.  It's tradition.

My brother Terry, Marna, Wendi and Blaine joined me, Tom, Peggy and Karen for a lovely night.  We had awesome food, drink (yes, I got in to the wine), laughter, memories, a few tears and a toast to Family. 

It was a late evening but T and I managed to stay awake long enough to exchange gifts.  He spoiled me with a beautiful bracelet to match the set of earrings and necklace he gave me last year.   I attempted to spoil him but Amazon didn't arrive  on time - so he'll get his gifts tomorrow - hopefully.

Today was Christmas with my brother-in-law Bill, Jackie, their daughter Amy, Tina and Dani (friends and house sitters while Bill and Jackie travel to AZ), and Pastor Larry.   The dinner was scrumptious with roast duck with orange sauce, ham, mashed sweet potatoes and wild rice with green beans.  Oh yeah....and cheese cake.  Yum!!

So I'm sitting here in my sweatpants (thank goodness for elastic waistbands) reliving the events of the last few days. 

I smile as I remember how Karen took over her father's roll of host.  No one's glass was empty, which might explain the slight headache I had this morning. 

Then there was listening to my niece Wendi's infectious laughter.  She has this little giggle that just makes you want to smile and laugh right along with her.   She lives in Washington state, so we don't get to see her often enough.  I gave her as big a hug as I could- hoping that she would know  my love for her.  I miss her and wish she would move closer...but I also understand the need  to spread the wings and fly. 

Blaine snuggled up to me on the couch and was my companion.  I was happy to see his eyes  light up when  he opened Garth Brooks "Friends in Low Places" 8-cd box set.  I'm pretty sure that we'll have to put Meatloaf on the back burner and play us a little Garth the next time we do some house cleaning!

Today I actually slept in till 8 am!  Which was much needed considering I didn't get to bed until 1 am.   Pajamas and coffee.  I sent "Christmas texts" to my far away friends and the beginning round of phone calls from (and to) my siblings.  We don't get together as a family anymore during the holidays,  it's just too hard to get everyone in one spot. (We celebrate with Oktoberfest).   BUT...we make sure that we call and speak to everyone on Christmas.  It's almost a game now to see who is the first to call.  I've talked to everyone today.  The family bond is Strong....just wish mom and dad were here...but know they're with us in our hearts and minds. 

I put a post on my Face Book page this morning "It's not about the presents under the tree, the food on table or the wine in the glass, it's about the feeling of love in the heart and the people that we get to share that love with".   

I'm very grateful for the people in my life with whom I get to share my love; my husband, family and my friends.  

Merry Christmas from my heart to yours!

Hello Again

Seems like the only time I get to write on my blogs is on Sundays when life is a little bit slower for me. It is what it is; I'm not going to stress out about it...life is too short to stress.

It's 3 days until Christmas.  Amazing how fast time is going.  I have everything ready  or as ready as it will be.  T's gifts were ordered late (had trouble finding them on the net), so they'll be arriving after Christmas.  Again, nothing to stress over .  He knows one of them, the other will be a surprise.

We normally order Oysters to be shipped in from the west coast, but that too got late; we'll have oysters for New Years.   Hmmm, a bit of procrastination on my part this year.  It was hard to get in to the Christmas spirit this year. 

What else is going on? 

• I'm on a two week hiatus from teaching yoga.  Attendance has been low with the holidays so I figured I'd take my usual two weeks off and let my body regroup and everyone else do their holiday preparations.
• The NDSU Bison are heading to Texas for a *hopefully* 3peat.  I watched the game on Friday night and was quite proud of them.  Bison Nation!
• I opened my mouth and insert foot - again.  This time at the expense of my sister Peggy. I was working out with my trainer on Thursday night.  As we were discussing next week's schedule, I learned that he is going to be alone on Christmas Eve.  He has a client on Christmas Eve and another one on Christmas Day (shame on whomever they are!), so he's staying in town and will be alone.   I was like, "oh no!  You should come to my sisters house and be with us".   (Hmmmm, sorry Peggy!).  I did speak with Peggy yesterday and she is fine with it so now waiting to hear if he'll join us.   This could be both good and bad.  He'll be watching what I'm eating and drinking.  Yikes!!  :)
• My good friend Georgia has asked me to watch after her cats Smoky and Zoey while she is home for Christmas.  This will be much a much welcomed task for me as I miss interaction with animals, specifically cats, as I miss my Boris terribly.   So today I'm going in to town with the sole purpose of playing with them.  Well, ok...and to go to the grocery store,....again. 
• Tonight's dinner menu is scalloped potatoes and ham.  
• Has 3 loads of laundry to do when I get back
• Has to work Monday and Tuesday (until noon), and Thursday.  (Love short holiday weeks)

That's it in a nut shell for now.  Gotta run to town so will maybe write more later. 

Preparations

I'm at work today and almost had an anxiety attack when I realized the date.  Holy Cow!  It's December 9th already!!

I don't do a lot to celebrate Christmas since it's just the two of us and we have no children.   I used to decorate and send out cards but I don't anymore.  The cards are too expensive with postage and I don't have a lot of spare time to address them.  I'd rather call those close to me and talk with them.  And I'd rather spend spare time visiting with the residents of the Heritage Center and helping them keep in contact with their loved ones.  I'll put up a few things around the house and maybe make it look like something other than a Charlie Brown Christmas.  

In so far as gifts, I have very few that I buy for; Tom, Blaine and my secret Santa person at work...but I have the essential wine for my sister!  Lol

I guess its not all the trappings that make Christmas. ..its what you feel in your heart.  And I feel Christmas in my heart almost every day!

Namaste

Call Me The Bag Lady

We were lucky to hold off with the snow until the 1st of December.  Mother Nature is making up for lost time though and gifting us with a winter storm. 

I have lived in ND most of my life (except for brief stints in Minnesota), but I'll never get used to this first initial slap in the face.

It takes me a while to learn how to drive on snow and ice, and to allow extra time to get from point A to point B.  It takes longer to dress (or undress) the layers of clothing I now find myself forced to wear just to go outside for even a brief minute.

Because I teach yoga, I need to be available for those classes.   So every morning, I wake up and flip the channel to find the weather forecasts, which ultimately determine how many bags I'm going to pack for the day.

Today it wasn't looking so good soooooo....this is what I packed:
1 suitcase with clothing for 2 days
1 yoga bag with clothing for 3 nights of classes (ok, one night is actually an "optional" outfit in case I wasn't 'feelin' something!)
1 gym bag with clothing for Friday night (in case I couldn't get home on Thursday night - I have gym/trainer on Friday night)
1 food bag - since it's crappy out and I only get 1/2 hr for lunch, I hate to go anywhere in the winter, so I packed a bag of food (soup, crackers, yogurt, oranges, pickles) to have on hand at the office.
1 purse.
 
Soooo by the time I packed up this morning, I felt like a bonafide bag lady!

Yoga Video

Today is December 1st and I am in a food coma.  Although I've tried to curtail the holiday eating, my body feels blechy.  I've been limiting the amount of carbohydrates I consume but the Thanksgiving mashed potatoes and stuffing were a must have for the holiday.  It was a choice I made and now I get to repair the damage. 

So this morning, I started with my protein shake and my yoga routine.  I found a December challenge for my body - which is doing push ups every day - and I did my 5 push ups already (no girlies ones either!). 

Today is unique for me as I'm doing a "first" for me.  I'm going to make a yoga video!  Yep, you heard right!    The back story is:  I teach one class a week at Anytime Fitness on Tuesday nights.  One of my class attendees is a Physical Therapist working as an intern at the Anne Carlson Center while she is completing her doctorate.  She asked me if I would be willing to do a yoga video for some of her "outpatient" kids that she works with at the ACC.  I jumped at the chance.  YES!!  I have experience working with the aging population but working with children is something that I haven't had a lot of exposure to.   So, today I meet with her at 1:00pm and we'll record me teaching yoga to a few of the children associated with the ACC.   In truth, I'm a bit nervous.  But I'm going to embrace the opportunity and breathe through my anxiety and do the best that I can.

Volunteering

I picked up a new gig.  I'm now volunteering at The Heritage Center in addition to teaching yoga there every other week. I had thought about it for quite some time and decided that it was now or never.  

What made me decided to volunteer more time?  

When I go there to teach yoga, the residents don't want to leave after our session.  They like to talk to me and ask me questions about what I do (my work at the prison), my family, what is going on downtown, how I've been feeling.  They're lonely and they like interaction with people from the outside (not staff members).

I've come to know several of them and some of them I already knew.  There is Harry, who used to be my bus driver when I was little.  Harold, who is my brother-in-law's brother.  There is Bobbie, who was friends with my mom and dad and whose farm was just 2.5 miles from my family farm. 

Saturday was my first day helping some of the residents.  I loaded up my laptop and visited with two of them, helping them to write their Christmas letters.  It was quite interesting and fun to learn about their lives and what fills there days. 

I was right when I surmised that they didn't have a lot of visitors or outside interaction.  They talked about going down to eat three times a day then sitting in their apartments most of the time, watching TV or reading.  No wonder they like to visit with me when I come and do yoga with them. 

I'll be going back on Friday to help them address their cards/envelopes.   One of them asked if I could help them write out their bills and insisted that I take some chocolate bars for spending time with him.  How sweet!

As I was leaving there were a bunch of ladies having coffee, so I sat and visited with them.  I learned one of them was a Ukestad from Montpelier and the other was Doris Rode from Adrian.   Again more connections.   It's as if the universe is telling me I need to do this.

I can't help but think....I hope that when I'm old and lonely, will someone volunteer and come see me and help me?

Relaxing

I love my Sundays.  It's generally the one day of the week that I try not to schedule anything.  I like to roll with it and see where the day takes me. 

Sometimes I sit in my recliner and watch the morning news shows.  Sometimes I clean house if I didn't get a chance to do it on Saturday.  Sometimes I find my guy, Blaine, and spend time with him.

Today I compromised....I cleaned house...after I watched the morning new shows.  Then I headed in to town to have lunch with my friend Becky at the new Mexican restaurant in town.  She works at a bank now and we see each other even less than when we were working at the same facility.

The food was awesome and the company great.  It was good to connect with her and to share some face time. 

I went up to Wal-Mart after that with the intent of doing a little shopping but my heart just wasn't in it.  I took a little drive around town and listened to some tunes on the radio.  I love to drive and listen to music.  It soothes the soul and lifts me up.  I thought about driving to Valley City to pick up a pizza for supper, but I thought that was a little extreme.  So after a while I  came home and did some laundry and started preparing for the week ahead.

I work Monday through Wednesday this week.  I packed my yoga bag for Monday night and my gym bag for Tuesday and Wednesday night with my trainer.  (I don't have yoga Wednesday night).

Right now I'm sitting with my feet up, relaxing and watching the movie Joyful Noise as I type this blog entry.  It's a pretty good movie with Queen Latifah and Dolly Parton.  The music is quite good and the message is awesome.....it's a movie about having faith and letting everything work out as it's meant to happen. 

This is one of the songs from the movie.  I absolutely love the way they sing it.  They took a Beatles song and brought in to a Gospel song format. 
Maybe I'm Amazed (song clip from Joyful Noise)

So, I'm relaxing and hoping that the upcoming week goes better than the last week.  :)

What A Week

This was my first week back to work after being on vacation.  I was busy the week before vacation getting ready for vacation so that I wouldn't have so much to do when I got back.   No such luck.  I hit the ground running on Monday morning and literally did not stop until 4:30pm today.   I hate it when that happens.

It also didn't help that a very close friend of mine is experiencing personal issues.  I feel helpless in that I cannot help them.  I feel their stress, uncertainty and frustration. I worry about them - their emotional and physical well being as well.   I cannot fathom what must be going through their head right now, but want them to know that I care and will always be here for them not matter what.  

One positive note:

 I attempted and completed the Turkey Challenge at Anytime Fitness on Thursday night.  This consisted of five rounds of each of these:
Dead Lifts (12 reps)  at 80% of my body weight
Bent Rows (10 reps) at 50% of my body weight
Burpee w/tuck jumps (5 reps)
Sit-up on decline bench - 15, 12,10,8,6
Roll-out pushup on pilates ball - 10 reps
Kettle Bell Swing - 20lbs (10 reps)
Squat (10 reps) at 85% of my body weight. - this one gave me a bit of a problem.  I got the bar on my shoulders, squatted and couldn't push back up.  In fact, I pretty much fell forward with the weight bar on my shoulders.  Thank goodness for the bar guards! lol  I was pissed off and mortified at the same time.  Pissed that I couldn't do it and mortified because people saw me.  My trainer just smiled and adjusted the bar to 50% of my body weight and told me that it happens to every serious lifter at some point or another.

Anyways, I completed the challenge in 37:02!   I was the 2nd person to complete it and the 1st female to complete it.  Yay me!  I was walking 10 ft tall when I left. 

Agenda for the weekend?  Tomorrow is the normal Saturday stuff.  Mother-in-law grocery shopping and lunch from 10:30 till about 12:30 then off to the Heritage Center (independent living at Ava Maria) to help a couple of the residents write their Christmas letters at 1:00. This is my volunteer effort beyond that of yoga teacher.  It should be fun and I'm looking forward to it. It's something that I've wanted to do for a while - do more volunteering - and this will definitely get me started. 

After that - the gym and home to clean house.   As usual, a jam packed day and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Night blogland :)

The Small Things Make Me Smile

1) On the way in to town this morning, I was greeted by the sight of three deer standing quietly in a field about a 1/4 mile away from highway 281N.  They apparently were not worried that it was weekend #2 of deer hunting season and a carload of hunters had just passed us.
2) One of my yoga students, Mike, bringing me OJ to make up for the OJ I didn't have on hand at my yoga retreat. :)
3) My mother-in-law's smile and laughter when she's having a good day
4) A pedicure
5) A beautiful morning - quiet, serene, brisk and exhilarating
6) Having a random encounter with someone and sharing a good laugh with them. (Now I wish I'd gotten their name)
7) Sitting in a restaurant booth and having a cute little boy toddler flirt with me.
8) Hearing a good song, not knowing the artist who sings it, then realizing that my great new app called Soundhound can find that information.  FYI: "Say Hey (I Love You) by Michael Franti &  Spearhead
9) Hearing from a friend that has moved away - who just called to tell me he's doing ok.
10) A warm, gooey chocolate chip cookie.

Vacation

I am officially on vacation.  Yay.  Not a very enthusiastic "yay" was it?

For most people, being on vacation means going some where fun and exciting or having fun things to do.   Me?  I use my vacation days to tackle projects that I normally do not get a chance to do due to my hectic work, yoga and gym schedules.

I have 3 projects I want to accomplish on my days off.  I feel like I should have relatively good success in tackling these projects if I

1) Stay on my sleep/wake schedule and do not stay up until all hours of the night and sleep in just because "I can."
2) Limit my Today Show viewing and coffee drinking to 1 hr..maximum. 
3) Shower and dress for the day as if I were going to work...which, in essence, I am...just not to the office as normal
4) Put on some kick ass music
5) Focus on THE project of the day and ONLY that project.  We (my sisters and I), tend to take detours in our cleaning.  You know...the find an object that belongs in another, take it to the other room, then see something in that room that needs cleaning.  Only to return to the original room in progress two hours later.  (Don't laugh...we're women, we ALL do that!  Don't we?)
6)   Let go of my procrastinating perfectionistic tendencies and realize that I will not get everything finished in my daily project and that I can let it go and come back to it in the morning. .  And that's OK.
7) Applaud myself for what I've accomplished so far and reward myself with something fun and indulgent at some point in my days off.

So you may ask, how's it going so far?  Good.  The worst and I do mean, The. WORST. room of the house has been tackled.  I am no longer afraid to open the door and gaze upon the vision that greets me.  Although I did not tackle the closet, everything else appears neat and orderly. 

I have far too much stuff in this small house.  A blessing in that I live in abundance and a curse in that I live in abundance.  I think 90% of us could say the same thing.   I  look at the news reports of the people in the Philippines or even Haiti after  the devastating natural disasters and I think to myself, "I am so lucky."

So, I am going to start making it a personal goal to purge and downsize.  It may take me a while  and may only do a few objects at a time, but it's time to let go of the stuff.

The Value of a Word

I have heard that our brains have an internal conversation consisting of about 10,000 words per day.  Yet, only about a 1000 of those words leave our mouth.  That's about 1/10th of words we actually get to share with others.  

Now think about what you say to others.  Think about your conversations and the tone in which they are said.  

Do you find yourself saying positive, affirming words? 
Do your words portray politeness or hatred?
Are the words you share with your co-workers cooperative or negative?
Do you tell your children you love them?  Often?

Do we make those 1000 words count when they leave our mouths? 

When was the last time you told someone they were appreciated, loved, wanted?  Or they did a great job, were smart, beautiful, kind, powerful, awesome?

Or were the words spoken words demeaning.  Did you tell someone they were hated, ugly, stupid, unwanted or worthless.

Think about your words.  They may not have value to you...but to someone else, your words hold weight. 

Week in Review

It's been quite a week for me.  All of my weeks are busy, but this one seemed especially more so and I'm not quite sure why.

The week started out awesome with my yoga classes on Monday.  I won't give you a play by play, but let me just say this - I have the best yoga students ever.  It seems that when my day is especially stressful, all I need to do is get on my yoga mat (and with my students) and whatever is bothering me fades away.

Tuesday was no exception.  My trainer - BJ- gave me an awesome workout and promised to put me through the Crazy 8 challenge on Thursday.  No excuses. (More on that later).   Then another awesome class at the gym (Anytime Fitness) where I now teach on Tuesday nights.

Work has been especially busy as of late, which isn't surprising given that we're heading in the holiday season.  This time of year always sees to find more inmates, more family requests of "what can I send little Johnny for Christmas" and long lost relatives doing the familial duty of attempting to find and visit the family member they'd like to forget but feel guilty about forgetting.  It's quite sad actually.  I'm the first line of contact for visiting the inmates so my desk has been swamped with applications, background checks and phone calls from family members w anting to know why they're denied.

Thursday found me tied in to knots and quite anxious.  It was D-day...Crazy 8 Challenge day.  Now, normally I don't back down from a challenge and if I say I'm going to do something, I do it.  But I was making myself nauseous thinking about this challenge.   What is the Crazy 8 Challenge?  It is a serious of 8 moves, completed 8 times in a set - and done for 8 sets.   Push ups, Jumping Jacks, Squats, Triceps Dips, Mountain Climbers, Jump Squats, Walking Lunges and Burpies.   (Fitness Magazine named all of them as the best cardio/conditioning exercises).   Now normally it's not a big deal ..but this challenge was timed.  All of these moves/sets needed to be completed under 30 minutes.  Reward?  1 month pd gym membership (successful completion) and a t-shirt (for making the attempt).    

I began to wonder what in the hell I was thinking.  I won't bore you with the details other than to say I have I wouldn't have done it if BJ wouldn't have pushed me.  I did the challenge in 22 minutes 30 seconds.  Yay me.   To put in to perspective why I am pleased with it....25 yr old trainers completed it in 16:30.    They're 26 yrs younger then me and they beat me by 6 minutes.  Not bad for a 51 yr old with a bum knee, huh?

Friday was spent taking care of appointments all day. I had yoga with my Heritage Center seniors and had a great session with them - 22 showed up this week.  I also talked  with the activities director and I think that I may be going there every week - definitely to continue my yoga but to also volunteer to help them with some personal tasks such as writing Christmas cards or letters, or  just sitting and visiting with them.  Some of them have no family - or family is out of state - and they are lonesome.   I know that I enjoy my time with the people and enjoy their company as much as they seem to enjoy mine.  Who knows, someday I may be in their shoes and look forward to someone coming to visit me.

Saturday was the annual Schulz Oktoberfest. What a wonderful time that always is.  My family is growing large and spread in many directions, making it difficult to get everyone together for holidays, etc.   As it was, we were missing three this year - Dennis (SD), Michael (Mandan), and Wendi (Washington state). We arrived at 1:00 pm and the fun never stopped.  As always, there was never enough time. But we know that we'll be back next year - 3rd weekend in October, as always.

Today all I wanted to do was sleep in, but I needed to take Ella (mother-in-law) grocery shopping.  She was having a rough day and was quite unsteady on her feet and not very talkative.  She declined going out to eat stating that all she wanted to do was lay down and take a nap.  I totally understood that.   Tom took her to the doctor this week to check out the growth/scab on her forehead.  The doctor froze the growth and told her that if it wasn't better in 2 weeks that he wanted to do a biopsy on it.  He told her it might be cancerous.  I said, "we'll just stay positive and hope for the best."  She didn't say anything but simply nodded.  She said that the doctor told her she was doing good but needed to eat.  No surprise there.  She told me she weighs 86.5 lbs.  (with clothes on.)  Oh my gosh!!  I'm afraid for her.    Since my mother passed away, Ella has been there.  She's a kind, gentle woman who worries about everyone and everything except herself.   I don't know what I can do for her to help her.  She's stubborn, set in her ways and refuses to accept any type of help other than our weekly grocery shopping and lunch date.  I know at age 93 her days are limited and I need to brace myself, but it won't make it any easier when the time comes.  

I came home and knew that if I sat down, I'd never get back up.  So I scrubbed the kitchen and bathroom floors, wiped down counters, dusted, vacuumed, did two loads of laundry - put them away, packed my yoga bag for Monday and gym/yoga bag for Tuesday, made the coffee (set timer) for tomorrow, uploaded pictures to The Schulz Connection face book page, updated this blog (in process) and will now start dinner since T is home from hunting.   I'm tired and I think I'll give myself permission to sit and read a book or watch a movie tonight so I am relaxed and ready to go for Monday - when it all starts over again. 

 

 

I Had A Meltdown Today

I do not get them often, but when I do, they're doozies.

This one just happened to coincide with my cardio workout at the gym.  I know, right?  Of ALL the places to have a meltdown, just go ahead and have one inside a public place where people can see you.   Luck was on my side though; the gym was empty except for me.

What led to my meltdown?  A culmination of things actually. 

Today was mother-in-law day.  She was a peach and in a good mood, so she wasn't the issue at all.   One of her grandsons, who works as a cook at the restaurant we frequented, was there today. He was there last week also and I had to draw his attention to come over just so he would say hello to his grandmother.  He barely made eye contact with her, or me for that matter, and couldn't make his exit quick enough.  

I do not know why I had expectations that he would come over on his own accord today but obviously I placed a higher regard for him than I should have.  I caught his attention and smiled thinking oh good, he sees us and will come over.  Wrong.  He stared past me as if I didn't exist.  If he saw me, he had to have seen his 92 yr old grandmother.  Nothing.  No effort what so ever.  As we were leaving I turned at the door and caught his eye again.  He watched us walk out the door. 

I don't give a damn about the disrespect for me, but dammit - he disrespected his grandmother.  And in my opinion, that shit don't fly.  I voiced my disappointment to Ella, who said this, "I'm used to it. Why should he be any different; his brother lives in town and he doesn't call or come over either." 
Utterly inexcusable.

I have several clients/students who are affected by the government shutdown .  Their livelihood is essentially held hostage by the idiots in Washington.  But, it affects more than federal employees.  It affects all of us, even little yoga instructor Sherry.  I have a yoga retreat coming up and response to it has been anything but enthusiastic.  I'm sure that people are worried about the economy and are reluctant to spend money on something considered non-essential - even though it would help them physically and mentally. 

Add to that friends, family (and me with my menopausal hormones) all  dealing with marital, health and job issues and it all became a little too much.

I hit the cross trainer and didn't stop.  I did 5 miles in 1 hr 40 seconds and burned 755 calories doing it.  I also cried doing it.  The universe must've known I needed it because not one soul came in.  I went in to the sauna and continued to sweat and sob - worst 20 minutes ever spent in a sauna.

 I don't allow myself to cry normally.  I prefer to stuff the emotions,  pull myself up by the bootstraps and let the universe determine the outcome. 

But it was cathartic.  I haven't had a good cry in a very, very long time.  I do feel better ...now..  And you know what the bright spot was?  I burned 755 calories during my meltdown. 

"I ask not for a lighter load, but broader shoulders." -Jewish Proverb

Everyone Has a Story

I have a fascination with people.   

Allow me to explain.

I love to look in to peoples eyes, see the expressions on their faces, the lines etched in their face, the shape of their mouth  and watch their actions, gestures and demeanor.

Why?  Because I like to wonder and  imagine what they are about.  What made them be the person that I see?

The lady walking across the Wal-Mart parking lot today - the threadbare clothing, unkept  gray hair and the eyes that showed such sorrow as they stared down at the ground while she walked with such laborious steps.  Was she in pain?  Had she been in an accident that made her walk so gingerly?  Was she poor and couldn't afford nicer clothing or just didn't take the time to dress just to go to the store.  And what made her eyes so solemn?

The young man in IDK Bar and Grill who was eating a pizza and watching football - all by himself.   He didn't smile, he didn't talk to anyone.  He was alone.  Was he new in town and hadn't had a chance to make close friends? Perhaps a stranger traveling through town?  Or maybe he wanted to be alone - his time to decompress and enjoy afternoon of his own company.

To the young woman talking rather loudly on her cell phone to someone in a most heated voice.  Her eyes were on fire, he hands clenched in a fist and her voice almost at decibel 10.  Her level of frustration was evident - but what caused it and to whom was it directed?  A love, a child, a friend?  Was it a misunderstanding or was the woman asserting her authority?

The jovial cashier at Hugos who joked with each customer she checked out through her line.  Was she having a good day today, better than normal?  Or is this her typical demeanor?  Is she married, have children, had she just gotten good news?  Was this her last shift before having a couple days off or did she truly love her job?

I watch people and I wonder what their story is.  I saw  a snipit of their life but that glimpse was enough to intrigue me and make me think about what their life was about. 

Frustration

Today my level of frustration hit a level that it hadn't seen in a very long time.  It was quite disconcerting.

I hold myself to a higher standard.  If there is work to be done, I do it.  If I do not know the answer, I try and find it myself before relying on others.  I do not push my work off on others.  It's how I roll.  And it frustrates me when I see people doing the very thing that I do not.

Maybe  I have too high of a standard for people.  Maybe that's not it at all.  Maybe they have to low of a standard for themselves.  If so, how sad.

I had a couple of instances today where I transferred phone calls to individuals so that they could handle the matter - it was their job and they had the authority to make the decision that needed to be made.  One individual told me, "you go ahead and take care of it."    Huh?  While I appreciate the vote of confidence, it really isn't in my pay grade to "take care of it."   I was quite blunt, and made that very statement and hung up the phone.

The second instance was somewhat similar but the other person on the end of the line actually asked me "how do I do that?"

I'm all for doing my duty as support personnel, but do not ask me to do your job for you.

Consider where I work, where we work.  We need to be on top of our game at all times.  If we aren't, someone could be hurt or killed; hopefully not staff.  

We have people who have little regard for others.  Maybe it's because of where we work - we've become de-sensitized and treat fellow employees as if they were our clientele.

I don't know what the answer is or what the true heart of the problem is.  I just know that today this "attitude" or lack thereof, caught me hard.  

Some people are perfectly happy putting in their "time".  They don't do anything more than is basically necessary - in essence, collecting a paycheck.   Those are the ones that - when policy and procedure is circumvented because they're too freaking lazy - will get someone hurt or killed. 

I was so frustrated I wanted to scream! 

Instead, I went to the gym and sweat it out - far more productive and I didn't hurt anyone. 

I hope tomorrow is a better day.

Heart - Will You Be There In The Morning (Music Video) WIDESCREEN 1080p

I've always loved the music of Heart - and this is perhaps one of the songs that I like the most, right next to Dog and Butterfly.    I was feeling a bit nostalgic tonight and looked up this song on You Tube.  The video is definitely a flashback :)

Enjoy :)

Autumn

As much as I enjoy tank tops, flip flops, driving with the sunroof open and feeling the sunshine on my skin, the call of Autumn lures me in to its embrace and I smile.

It's Mother Nature way of  telling me, "time to downshift Sherry and take it a little slower"

After doing some yoga this morning, I decided to sit outside with my coffee and enjoy the sounds and sites of fall.  I heard the honk of geese flying over, the chirping of crickets, the rustle of the breeze in the trees and felt the chill in the air - hoodie weather is here, or close at least. 

I treasure mornings like this. 

 I love summer but I absolutely adore fall.  It brings memories of dad chopping corn, burning ditches (I LOVE that smell), fall food (pumpkin pie, pigs in a blanket, scalloped potatoes, chili), dad butchering hogs or beef, mom butchering chickens, popcorn and hot chocolate.

Life seems simpler in the fall.  I don't know why, it just does.  

So while I'm enjoying the remnants of summer, I'm digging out the hoodies and looking forward to the cooler weather, the honking geese, the smoke from burning ditches and fall food, and a slightly slower paced life. 

Kellie Pickler - Someone Somewhere Tonight (Official Video)

I saw this video on CMT the other night and it took my breath away.  It's a beautiful song, sung by a beautiful lady.  It's combined with poetic, graceful dancing. 

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. 

Another One Gone

I haven't had a chance to blog about the loss of yet another trainer.  Jarrad Bard - trainer #9 - gave me my last session with him on Friday.   We started out smiling and laughing and he certainly didn't give me a break just because it was our last session.   But as the session was ending, the emotions we had were surfacing.

Some people would criticize me for getting attached to a trainer.  I mean, he's just there to push me through exercise, right?  Wrong.

Trainers are there to encourage and challenge, to tap in to the psyche and find out what makes their client tick so that they can get the most out of them.   Jarrad  figured it out. I'm competitive (with myself) and  I like to be challenged.   And he used that information to give me the best training sessions I've ever had (and I've had quite a few).

While he figured out what made me tick, so that he could challenge me, I let him in to my life  and my head.  I told him about feeling the effects of menopause on my body and mentality.  I told him about working in a prison,  relayed stories about my yoga classes, shared my frustrations about weight and dieting, my thoughts about aging, my medical concerns,  shared my philosophy of life,  let him see the  frustration with myself when I couldn't "get" an exercise, laughed with him and joked with him.  He encouraged me.

He was more than a trainer to me.  He became my friend. 

He's gone to Colorado with his bride.  On Friday he told me that he is going to pursue training there and perhaps go back to school for physical therapy.  I'm glad.  I told him that he has a gift that needs to be used.  His dedication to his clients and his genuine concern for their wellbeing is priceless.

Today I received a txt message from him asking if he could use me as a reference.  Absodamnlutely!!

So now I'm going to have a new trainer.  Number 10.  I doubt I'll have the same connection with him that I did with Jarrad; that connection was priceless.   I'll keep an open mind, I'll learn from him and I'll continue to give 110% in the training sessions.

 But it still won't be the same - it won't be Jarrad.

I Remember

This weekend was a reunion of the college fraternity - Sigma Nu - and it's sister organization - Sisters of the White Star.   We've been planning the reunion since January; the excitement and anticipation built until the weekend finally arrived. 

Although the numbers were smaller than had been anticipated and desired, the group of people that attended were absolutely wonderful.   Many attended school and had  gone by the time I arrived in 1980 - but that didn't make a difference.   I made new friends and developed bonds that will be  treasured for years to come.

We started out with a mixer at Tavern 94.  I have never laughed so much in my life!  Donna M., brought a tote bag full of photo albums and yearbooks for everyone to look through and that's when the questions started.

• "Oh, I remember him/her!  Where is he/her  now?"
• "Do you remember when we used to _____ ______ ___ (fill in the blanks)"?
• "Was I there when that happened?"
• "How come I don't remember when that happened?"
• "What year did you leave (were you in, out, etc.)?"
• "What is the name of the guy/girl that  _____ _____ _____ (fill in the blanks)"?
• "Were you at the party when '_______' did '________'?

We ate and drank, laughed, reminisced and just enjoyed being together.  We also discovered that we're not as young as we used to be.  Times used to be we would close down the bar and then find a place to party till the wee hours of the day.  That night we left at midnight and went to bed.  LOL

Saturday found me and two of the fraternity brothers Duane and Dean taking a hike out to Old 26 crossing.   Back "in the day", when a bunch of us would get together every summer for a campout, that is where we'd go.  I don't know how many years we camped...10 maybe?  We stopped when lives started getting busy; everyone going their own direction with work, careers, family.  But while we were there, we planted a tree to signify our roots and our connection to each other.  It is that tree that we were searching for.  Since the site has been abandoned, it took us a while, be we did find it!  (I think. LOL)

From there, on to  City Park to greet the brothers and sisters in attendance and then Road Rally.

Times there, too, have changed.  In years past, road rally was run started with everyone running down the Robertson Hill to their cars, heading out to the first clue and break-neck speed, often accompanied by alcohol or other substances.   This particular road rally of far tamer.  lol    There was no running to the cars...walking was the order of the day, we all buckled our seatbelts, obeyed the speed limit and there was no spirits.  lol.    And as one of my team stated, "the clues seem hard...maybe it's because we're all sober!"

We finished the night at The Bridges, which was attached to my motel, so I didn't have too far to travel back to my room at midnight.  

Tonight I'm in recovery mode - although I'm still drinking a Chelada..and enjoying the fact that I do not have to work tomorrow. 

This is my Sisters jacket and next to the rose is my "Sweetheart pin"

 

Out Here On My Own

I've always said that music soothes the soul.  It lifts me up, calms me, energizes me, makes me dig down deep and think,  makes me forget, makes me cry, laugh, love, hate and any other emotion I can feel.   Because to me, that IS what music is all about....  emotions set to song.

From the time the original movie Fame came out, I loved the song Out Here On My Own sung by Irene Cara.   I hadn't heard it in a very long time.  Today I was home from work due to a raging migraine.  I couldn't sleep any more; I woke up couldn't sleep any more so was flipping channels and found the remake of Fame done recently.   This song came on and it was even more beautiful this time.  But the words even more so.   Why?

 Because of the opening words, - they pulled me in.   Who of us haven't thought, at some point or another, thought, "Sometimes I wonder, where I've been.  Who I am, do I fit in".

(Click on the link below to watch the video in a separate window, then you can follow the lyrics here)

Out Here On My Own

 

Sometimes I wonder where I've been
Who I am, do I fit in.
Make believin' is hard alone
Out here on my own
We're always proving who we are
Always reaching for that rising star
To guide me far, and shine me home
Out here on my own
When I'm down and feelin' blue,
I close my eyes so I can be with you.
Baby be strong for me, baby belong to me
Help me through, help me need you
Until the morning sun appears
Making light of all my fears,
I dry the tears I've never shown
Out here on my own
But when I'm down and feelin' blue
I close my eyes so I can be with you
Oh baby be strong for me, baby belong to me
Help me through, help me need you.
Sometimes I wonder where I've been,
Who I am, do I fit in.
I may not win, but I can't be thrown,
Out here on my own.
Out here on my own.

A Blaine Day

Today was Blaine Day.   It's been several weeks since I've been able to spend any great amount of time with him due to our schedules.   After discussing it on Friday, we thought our best chance would be today.

I woke him up via phone call on my way in to town at 10 and told him he better get showered and changed cuz I was picking up donuts and going to be there in a 1/2 hour to work.

He was ready...and work we did.  We started out in his kitchen and did everything ...I mean..everything.  We washed dishes, put them away, wiped down the counters, cleaned out the refrigerator, microwave and toaster oven.  Then we (ok, me), scrubbed the floor.

I tackled his bathroom while he started on cleaning his bedroom.  (We both had our work cut out for us!)  But we made it and no HazMat suits were needed! 

At 12:30 we gave ourselves one hour to dust and vacuum and finish everything up so we could treat ourselves to beer and burgers at IDK..  (We beat the clock with 8 minutes to go!).

The cleaning may have been the main topic of the day but in my opinion, Blaine was my objective.  He's a totally different person when you get him in a relaxed setting and visit one-on-one.   He doesn't refer to his disability a lot, but today we talked about his future and what he wants to do.   He always has dreams, and dreams big.  In the past he's talked about going to college and coaching.   I listen and let him talk.  After all, who am I to rain on his dreams. 

But today was a little different.  I felt his energy the moment I walked in the door.  He was in a talkative mood but it was different today.  His feet were planted on the ground and we talked about some of his worries (how long can he keep moving carts at Wal-Mart - after all, "I'm not getting any younger.") and why I didn't have kids ("maybe God wanted me to be your son")  Yes, that one made me tear up...even now as I type it out.  

We talked a LOT about Grandpa and Grandma Schulz and how he dreams of them - and his dog Keshia; he's pretty sure they're looking out for him from heaven.  There were a lot more things we talked about but I won't betray his trust or confidence in my ability to keep things secret. (That being said, I will most definitely do so if I feel his well being and day-to-day living abilities are in jeopardy or at risk and will inform his parents immediately). 

I do not know what brought on this reflective mood.  I'm not going to second guess it.

He needed someone to talk to and get some things off his mind.  He was ready to talk and I was there for him. 

I Will Dance

I envy those that can dance. I am envious of the people who are graceful, elegant and captivating as they glide across the stage.  The seemingly effortless movement and grace has me spellbound. 

When I was younger I used to watch American Bandstand and Soul Train.  Yes, for the music but also for the dancing.  I was mesmerized. 

My parents taught me to dance at a young age.  Mom would put a record on the record player in the living room - most likely country music like Conway Twitty, Loretta Lynn, Charlie Pride, et - and teach me the 2-step or waltz while standing on her feet.   She had good rhythm (she played piano by ear) and would teach me through her own steps, literally.

I love to dance.  My greatest moments of joy are when I am out on the dance floor. I'm not graceful, fluid, elegant or captivating.  I move for the sheer pleasure of movement.  I dance with abandonment.  I dance as if no one were watching.  I heard a quote once that said "dance is merely making love to music."   I like that.

One of my favorite shows is So You Think You Can Dance.  I have it taped every week and watch it whenever I find the time. 

The following is one of my favorite performances that always makes me smile when I see it.  It's happy and fun.  Boogie Shoes

This one is just beautiful: Turn to Stone

Tonight I ran across this video of Patrick Swayze and his wife, Lisa, performing a dance that was absolutely breathtaking.  It was so beautiful that I found myself with tears in my eyes. 
The Last Dance

I will never dance like any of the people in these video clips.  But I will dance when I get the chance, and I will dance like no one is watching.  I will dance for the sheer pleasure of dancing.  I will dance...for me.

Proud Day for Blaine

Yesterday, August 9th, 2013, was another proud day in Blaine's life.   Senator Heidi Heitkamp presented Blaine with the United States flag that was flown over the United States Capitol.  There were people from the community there, fellow Wal-Mart coworkers, family and friends.

News agencies from Jamestown (The Jamestown Sun and CSICable) as well as the news station Valley News Live (Fargo) were there also. 

It was awesome to see Blaine shine in all of his glory once more.   I was so proud that I teared up and had a lump in my throat. 

I'm so proud of my Blaine.  He IS the apple of my eye!

Dad and Mom would have loved it!

Today I got to spend some fabulous time with my family down in Adrian ND at my brother Terry's home.  Although the day was a bit chilly and windy, the day was perfect.

When we were growing up - or rather, when I was growing up - we used to have family picnics out on the farm every August.   My father's birthday is August 9th, and my sister-in-law's birthday is on the 5th.  We (ok, me) would spend hours mowing the lawn and making sure it was ready for the picnic.  Mom would be frying chicken by the roasters full starting at dawn, and everyone would start piling in to the farm in the morning even though we didn't eat until 1 pm.   There would be mom's fabulous potato salad, hamburgers, hot dogs, watermelon, cakes, bars, scrumptious fried chicken and anything else that mom thought would be fair game.  We never  ran out of food! We'd spend the day hanging out talking while the guys would play a bit of horseshoe.  The kids would be playing with the dog and kittens or running around exploring the farm. My niece Shelly (who is actually a year older than me) and I would play Barbie - and in later years discuss our latest crushes, the new movie we just had to see or the newest music to listen to.

It was family time...and Dad and Mom loved it!

Today brought back those memories.  Terry and Marna opened up their home to us.  Their lawn was immaculate and the garage was ready for the onslaught of family members to file in.  And we did, car by car.  We deposited our food items on the growing buffet table, parked our coolers in the corner, grabbed a cold one as we unfolded our lawn chairs and proceeded to get down to the business of catching up.  

We laughed over those "stupid little things" both past and present that make us want to cringe.  We ate too much food but still went back for more.  We drank and we drank some more.  The ladies and kids went in search of the five little kittens while the guys went to check out the deer stand down by the river.

It was a beautiful day of family...in celebration of what would have been dad's 98th birthday and Pearl's (we never tell a lady's age!). 

And Dad and Mom would have loved it!

My sister Pat, sister-in-law Pearl, and brother Ron

 My brother Terry, sister Pat, and sister-in-law Pearl

 Me and my niece, Shelly

My sister Judy and her oldest son, Glenn

Whitney Duncan - Skinny Dippin' (Video)

Words I SaId

So once in a while I like to take note of words that I say in any given day.   I don't know why, but I do.  I'm quirky, remember?   I'm not a wordie, but I do like the way words are used and used correctly 

So today I wrote down some of the words I used in conversation.  I must say, I sound smart. LOL

Here they are:

Presumably
Incorrigible
Inconsistent
Tirelessly
Haphazardly
Silhouette
Slamming (ok, this one, not so much)
Iconic
Imbecile

If I was really smart, I'd figure out how to use them all in one sentence!  LOL

My Nursing Home Peeps

So, for the year 2013, I have spent every other Friday afternoon at the Heritage Center (assisted living) teaching "stretchercize" to the residents there.  We don't call it "yoga" cuz the residents tend to shy away from anything called yoga.  Well, most of the general population tends to shy away from it also.  But that's another story for another time.

I've become used to them, and they've become used to me.  I love going up there and visiting with them.  They even get my silly sense of humor - which, trust me, not everyone does.  They're even concerned for me when I have health issues.   As I am for them when they have health issues.

What I find amazing though, is how I have connections to a lot of them.  

Harold - my brother-in-law's brother.
Marv - he worked with my brother in law and knows my sister.
Arlene and Dale - they know my older sister Pat
Bob and Myrna Sarbaum - they were friends of my parents and used to stop at our farm regularly.
Harry - He was my bus driver.
Myra - She used to play on the basketball team with my mother

There are ladies from Dickey, Lamoure and Ypsilanti that knew my parents.

It's kinda fun to put together the connections with them as we visit and "stretch".   I've come to find out that I enjoy visiting with them and they with me.  Kinda like having my grandparents again.  :)

Recovery

My 4th of July was awesome and so was this weekend.  So much so, that I am now in recovery mode.  I rather like it when that happens. 

The 4th found us at my sister Peggy's house.  My brother Ron (and wife Pearl), my brother Terry (and wife Marna), niece Karen (and Dave), along with Neil Weatherly (and wife Donna) were there.  Blaine showed up later just in time to eat and dash off to the races that evening. 

We ate munchies, drank lots of beverages and even managed to play a game or two of croquet.  I even managed to win one!  It was hotter than heck but that's alright - meant that the beer tasted better.

Friday evening we were invited up to Peggy's again to visit with Karen and Dave.  Peggy fixed steak and potatoes on the grill.  Awesome.  Karen played hostess making sure that my Pendleton water/cloudy glass was never empty.  Which, based off the major headache I had on Saturday morning, she apparently did a good job. 

It's was White Cloud Days in Jamestown so Saturday found all kinds of activities around town, which included a parade.  I was to have yoga classes Saturday.  I cancelled because my mother-in-law wanted to go to the parade and I figured that I wouldn't have all that many students in the first placed, it being a holiday weekend and all.  In all honesty, that king size headache I had also played a fairly large part in the decision. (Note to self, be more responsible when drinking and yoga is the next day).

We also went to the races last night.  The modified series was in town with reportedly 80 cars.  All I know is it was hot, dusty and long!  The races didn't end until midnight.  I was so grungy that I took a hot shower when I got home just to was the grime off.  It was almost 1am by the time I got to  bed. .  Of course, I couldn't sleep in this morning - I beat the alarm up at 5:15.  lol 

I ate and drank so much this weekend that when I stepped on the scale I almost had a heart attack.  Somehow those 6 lbs turned in to 10.  :(   I hit the gym today and did 4.7 miles (65 minutes) on the cross trainer, another 15 on the bike THEN sat in the sauna for 30 minutes.  Hope to hell whatever water weight I packed on was sweated off.   HOPEFULLY.

So tomorrow - Monday - it's back to work and back to the diet.   I've researched diets this afternoon and have come up with a game plan.  Low carb, high protein is the way I'm going to try to go.  Hopefully I'll make it longer than a day.  lol

So....that's it.  I'm in recovery mode from the weekend.  I like it when that happens.  :)

Going Home

Something happens to me when I hit 281S and head towards Montpelier or Marion.  As I travel down the paved or gravel road, I become a child again.

I remember the days were much simpler then.  When all I had to worry about was getting my chores done so that I could play with the kittens, ride my bike, or lay with my dog Sneaky on the side of the hill and watch the cotton candy, animal shaped clouds pass overhead. 

Or going in to Sitz's store on Wednesday nights with a quarter in my hand and coming out with a sack of penny candy that would satisfy me and my friends for most of the night.  The streets of Marion seemed so large and busy then.  The days were carefree and the nights a celebration as me and Mom listened to the music being played at the bandstand. 

Traveling the road home today opened up a floodgate and let the  memories of visiting my grandparents rush through.  Swinging in the tree swing, taking hikes with grandpa through the shelterbelt, helping grandma make squash or lye soap, eating her fabulous homemade bread.

I parked the 4Runner in what used to be the driveway to my farmstead.

I remembered. 

The streets of Marion are smaller now and not as many people occupy them.  The bandstand is gone, as is Sitz's store.  My grandparents house is gone and with it, the tree swing.  My parents farm is no more, except in my heart and memory. 

I'm not the little girl of 10 anymore, barefooted and carefree. 

But every once in a while, that little girl comes out and remembers...when I Go Home.

Danielle Bradbery and Hunter Hayes: "I Want Crazy" - The Voice Highlight

Exposure to Danger

I was  informed  that there was a serious incident at the prison yesterday morning.  Apparently two inmates decided to try and kill each other in the dayroom of 3rd floor.  A 10-33 Fight was called and all available staff responded.  One officer blew out his knee, another injured trying to break up the fight, and several other staff were exposed to contaminated blood (Hep C).

My heart goes out to those affected by this event inside the prison walls.  It's an inherent danger of working in a prison, we acknowledge that when we report to duty each and every day..  We take precautions to ensure the safety of staff and our wards (inmates), but unfortunately shit happens.   It's happened before and it'll happen again.  We only hope that there are no staff injured.  And if there are injuries, that they not be life threatening. 

There are those "hero types" that will be there in the thick of things with a disregard for their safety  so they can be there for their fellow officers.  God bless them. The are amazing!  Unfortunately not every officer is like that, which is unfortunate.  They're the ones that physically are out of shape or just there for the paycheck.  We know who they are and trust me, I avoid going to their areas when they are duty.  If there is a ship wreck, I want the hero-type to have my back. 

So tomorrow when I go to work, I'll thank the hard working officers who put their lives on the line each and every day. 

Stuff I did today

Drank almost a pot of coffee
Caught up with a dear friend on Facebook
Talked with Blaine
Went to the gym
Made a huge bowl of spaghetti salad
Made apple spice cake
Washed multiple loads of laundry
Packed my yoga bag
Gave myself a pedicure (See picture below)
Read a chapter in one of the two books in progress.
Took a short (20 minute nap)
Watched a really good movie - Baby Boy - with Tyrese Gibson
Organized my lunch for tomorrow
Had a glass of wine.  OK..two :)
Made an amazing dinner of baked fish, twice baked potatoes and steamed broccoli, cauliflower, pearl onions and carrots .

I wasn't expecting that

As you all know I've been experiencing issues with my left knee since last September.  After doctoring and going to physical therapy for IT Band Syndrome since September, I've decided to take matters in to my own hands and get a second opinion.

 

I saw Dr. Dean, an orthopedic surgeon here in Jamestown. 

 

He ordered an "arthritic knee series x-ray".  I laughed and thought he was kidding.  He wasn't. 

 

So, I humored him and had the x-ray done - even though I assured him that arthritis wasn't in my vocabulary and that I was sure that I had just "torn" something and just needed to be stitched up.  He just smiled. 

 

After X-rays, I returned to his office and waited. 

 

He came in, all calm like and took a look at the pictures.  I kid you not.  He said, "so if arthritis isn't in your vocabulary, how do you feel about the words knee replacement." 

 

I laughed thinking he was kidding.   He, again, wasn't. 

 

He turned the screen around and yep, clear as day. I have no "cushion" in the inner knee of my left knee.  Pretty much bone on bone.   He was nice.  He said, "you're still young"  (pretty sure he was trying to keep from getting hit at that point), "so we'll try to put off any knee replacement until you need it."

 

I asked, "when will I need it?"    His reply, "when you're body tells you."   Gee…thanks. 

 

So, treatment options are:

1) cortisone shots (which I had yesterday AND I took like a champ, thank you very much!),

2) injectable filler silicone-like stuff (more expensive than cortisone but last ditch option before knee replacement). 

3) knee replacement.

4) no more running, fast walking, or high impact such as jumping.

5) can do elliptical, biking, and yoga….yes, yoga!  :)

 

I'm going to go with options 1 and/or 2 and 5 for now and hold off on 3 until "my body -or my mind ­- says I need it.

 

So there you have it!  

Today

Dr. Appointment + XRay = Cortisone shot + knee replacement in the future = no running + finding new hobby = one sad girl today.

Conversationalists

I like listening or taking part in conversations.  There are several different kinds of conversations and conversationalists.  You have to listen closely to distinguish between them.  I'll do my best to give you a little run down on them.  Next time you're in a conversation, listen...and smile.

The Know It All:   This particular conversation/conversationalist is the epitome of annoying.  No matter who is talking, the "Know It All", literally ...knows it all.   Just ask them, they'll tell you.  They'll let you know is short order that they can do everything (and have) done everything from A to Z.  They'll tell you how they built their own build their own houses out of lumber they've harvested from the land with their very own hands.

The Weather Chanel:  This one always amuses me.  No matter what the conversation is at hand, there is always someone in the conversation that will turn it towards the subject of weather.  "How much rain did we get last night?" or "The wind is supposed to come up today," can be heard when the subject wasn't even close to being that of weather.

It's All About Me:  Not to be confused the Know It All. The All About Me strategically turns the conversation in their direction with the quickest of ease.  This person likes to be the center of attention and shines in the spotlight.   They do not listen nor do they care.  Their only reason for being in the conversation is find the precise moment where they can turn it in their direction and let the world know how great and wonderful they are. They either thought of it, or did it, or was the inspiration behind someone else's act.  They ARE better than the average joe.  Just ask them.  (Often associated with Type A personalities).

Judge and Jury:  This one makes me mad as hell.  No matter what the situation or the person involved in it, the "Judge and Jury" already has the person tried, crucified and buried.  They do not care of the details, they do not care of the backstory or history and they do not want to know.   Guilty - without possibility of parole. 

Gossip:  This type of person works well with the Judge and Jury.   The "Gossip" takes a tidbit of information - be it true or not - and puts it in to a conversation...most often with the Judge and Jury.  "I heard that 'so and so' lost their job because they were drinking on the job."  Well now...that's ALL that is needed for the Judge and Jury to hang the individual from the oak tree.  The Gossip and Judge/Jury feed off each other.  While the Gossip is quick to divulge half truths, they are hesitant in handing out a verdict.  They leave that for the Judge and Jury to do.  

The "Whatever You Say";   This person doesn't have an independent thought of their own.  In conversations they agree to everything that is said....positive or negative...sometimes in the same conversation.  I often need a tablet and pen when I'm in conversation with this type of person.  It's difficult to keep track of where they stand on any particular situation.  They agree with everyone.

The Complainer:  This one zaps the energy right out of me.  No matter what it is, it's never right.   A person could hand them a brick of gold, and the gold wouldn't be shiny enough.  They find fault with every thing and every one. 

The Sickie:  The day starts and ends with this person giving you a run down of their medical history.  Their throat hurts, their back hurts, their feet are on fire.  They have an arsenal of over the counter medications in their purse or desk drawer just so they can function on an hour to hour basis. 

I've been privileged to have engaged conversation with each of these individuals off and on over the last 30 years.  They never cease to amaze me.  

Now that I've given my take on them, perhaps you can tell me where I fit in?  LOL

Gone, But Not Forgotten

Memorial Day 2013 - A day of remembrance to those that no longer walk this earth with us. 

Those that have served our country have  given the ultimate sacrifice - their lives - to defend and protect the personal freedoms we enjoy every day.  They were as fierce and dedicated to their country as they were to their family.  They are the epitome of the word hero.

It is also a time to remember those in our families that are no longer with us. Those who touched our lives so deeply and profoundly; some for a short time, some for a lifetime. Those who live on in our hearts and memories, now and forever.

We honor them  through laughter, tears and precious memories.

They may be gone, but certainly not forgotten. 

Gone, But Not Forgotten - Marilyn Ferguson

Gone, but not forgotten
This pain, I cannot hide
In memory, I see you
A million tears, I've cried.

 

The tender thoughts you left me
Come to my memory
Your loving smile, so precious
Will always be with me.

 

You visit me in summer
When flowers are in bloom
Upon a ray of sunshine
A star-lit night in June.

 

When winds are gently blowing
Across a cloudless sky
Within a rolling meadow
Where horse and cattle lie.

 

I see you in the treetops
As summer comes to be
In shadows, you do linger
A soul so young and free.

 

I see you in the garden
Your scent does fill the air
Just like a precious flower
A rose, so ever fair.

 

On country roads, I find you
Along the wooded lane
Within the distant thunder
I see you in the rain.

 

In early hush of morning
You come without a sound
Upon a blazing sunset
Your memory can be found.

 

Like sprigs of morning glory
Upon the vine, they grow
With branches reaching outward
Into my heart, you go.

 

Just like a special angel
God wrapped you in His care
And took you off to heaven
To live with Him, up there.

Checking In

Hey...just me, checking in.  I don't know where the time goes, but its definitely going fast these days.  The end of May is upon us.  Crazy.  This weekend is filled with graduation parties and ceremonies celebrating those that have died in service to this country.  To some people, it's all about the three day weekend.   

My weekend started Friday night by getting together with my brother Terry and sisters and heading down to Ypsilanti to plant flowers at my parents and grandparents gravesite. It was cold, windy and rainy but we went anyway.  With all of us pitching in, it didn't take us very long at all to accomplish the task.  We even had our traditional "toast" to Mom and Dad while we were there.  That always brings a tear to my eye. 

Terry went home but the rest of us headed to IDK to meet up with my nieces Shelly and Lori.  It was Lori's 42nd birthday as well so her family - daughters Abby, Emily and husband  Jason - were there also.   What a fun night!   Some people find going to cemeteries a very  somber affair, and it is.  But when the Schulz's are there, it's a celebration of the life that my parents lived and loved. 

Tom, Ella and I went to the Schutt gravesites on Saturday.  A bit of a difference in attitude.  The Schutts are very stoic people on a good day...but Saturday was even more so.  Ella was in rare form.  She was in a real down mood; everything was very negative and portrayed the air of doom and gloom.  Tom was affected by it.  He doesn't talk a lot anyways but Saturday he spoke even less than normal.  He could at least bail out and go home to do field work for our neighbor.  I still had to take Ella grocery shopping and out for lunch.   It was a loooonnnnng couple of hours.  lol    Needless to say, when I got home I turned on Sirus 80's on 8, cranked it up and started cleaning!   I used all that frustration and took it out on my house.  Boy did I get a LOT accomplished yesterday!  :)  So much so that when I finally had a chance to sit down and relax around 9:30pm, I had a glass of wine...which quickly turned in to four!  Hey!! I deserved it!  AND...AND....there is still some left in the bottle, so cut me some slack, k??!!  :)

Today I had coffee with my friend Becky.  She's one of three great friends I have.  I don't get to see her often enough, although we do talk as often as our schedules allow.  It's graduation in town today.  I had several to go to...however, I forgot the announcements and cards at home on the counter.  (You can keep those comments about age and forgetfulness to yourselves!).

So what's on tap for the rest of the weekend?  Not a dang thing.  Tomorrow is a wing it kind of day.  I'll wake up, drink some coffee and figure it out as the day progresses.  I may go to the gym, read a book, watch a movie or take a nap.  What I won't do is slave away doing housework. 

The Runner

I had the opportunity to ride with a good friend on Friday to go to Fargo and experience the electric energy of The Fargo Marathon.

Although the full marathon wasn't until Saturday, I got to experience the expo and 5K.  It was A. Maz.Ing!!!!

The energy in the Fargodome was positively humming.  There were people everywhere.  Short people, tall people, heavy people, barely there people, old people, young people and really young people, people in costumes, lycra, sweat pants, shorts, t-shirts, sports bras, and every other imaginable article of clothing associated with running. 

My friend had experienced this all before so knew what to expect.   I, on the other hand, had not.  Everywhere I turned, there was something to see. I looked like an owl, craning my neck in all directions so I could see everything.   The expo had all things related to running; health supplements, advertisements on upcoming runs and challenges, sports medicine information, clothing, running accessories, fundraisers, etc.

When it was time to head outside to watch them line up for the 5K, I was in awe.   There were 8,500 people with their bibs on, standing patiently at the line waiting for the start.   The line ran several blocks back and I swear it took at least 5-7 minutes for ALL of the runners to get across the starting line.   And that was just the runners!  There was a separate starting line for the walkers too.  They couldn't start until the runners had all crossed the starting line.  

We stood right at the corner where they turned to come back in to the finish line.   To see the look in their eyes - the focus - on the finish took my breath away.  I turned to my friend and said, "Wow." 

There was this little girl...couldn't have been much more than 10..running her heart out right alongside a man in his 20's as they headed to the finish line.  They were in the top 10 finishers.   And what got me was all the different running strides...long, short, shuffles, glides.  Some ran with music but most didn't.  That interested me because I run with music and can't imagine NOT running without it.

I'm on the injured reserve list because of my  knee/leg.  I haven't run since September.  I recently made the comment that I want to run again if only to go for a leisurely run whenever I want to.  But I have to admit, my running mojo has been waning. 

Not after Friday.  I got caught up in it.  How could I not? 

I haven't run in 8 months....but I am still a runner. 

What is a runner?  "Someone who puts one foot in front of the other at a pace that is faster than a walk." 

What is a racer?  Crazy.   

Call me crazy.

Just Another Day

Today was packed with stuff.  Woke up super early (not by choice) and ended up staying up and getting a few household things done before I went to yoga.   Class was small today - only two people showed up.   That's alright; my mind wasn't totally in to it today.  I had a hard time concentrating and my leg (knee) was giving me issues during the poses.

I picked up my mother in law and took her grocery shopping and out to lunch.  She was in a fairly good mood today. 

I dropped her off and went to my hair appt.  Eva is a godsend.  She not only got my hair style back in shape, she gave me an awesome manicure too.  Hey...to a woman, that's a big thing!  :)

Home to finish laundry and vacuum.

Tonight was supper at IDK then home to watch a movie.

Busy and boring....and just another day.

Really?

A spring winter storm is hitting this area.  It was supposed to hit last night but it delayed it's march through the region until today.  It just now hit where I live.   All the news forecasts (local and national) have Jamestown area slated for between 12 - 18 inches of snow.  Lovely.

So, what am I doing on this last (hopefully) winter storm? 

I just finished unloading the dishwasher, putting in a load of laundry and folding another, and making a huge pot of vegetable/beef soup.  Yum! 

I'm settling in for the day with hubster on the couch.  I'm actually happy for him.  You see, this time of year we would be calving out 400 head of cows.  In the past when these types of rain or snow storms would hit, he would be frantic with worry on "what am I going to do with the calves" or "I feel sorry for the animals."  ( We didn't have any barn space to house the cattle.)   He would be at the farm literally 24/7 keeping an eye on things.

But now that we don't have cattle any longer, he doesn't have to worry.  He's sitting on the couch looking outside at the weather.  In fact, he just said, "I feel sorry for those animals that are out in the open." 

My goal today?  Nothing.  Blogging and reading a good book.  (I'm now down to 2 books in progress rather than 3).  :)