Mothers Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mother's out there.  I hope your day was an enjoyable one. 

I think back lovingly to memories of my mother.  I really do not know if there is a day gone by that I don't think of her in some way or another.  I look at pictures of her and I smile, I run across something that she wrote to me (a card perhaps), and I cry tears.   There is a song that clutches my heart every time I hear it as it reminds me of mom and how I feel about her.  It's by Caitlin and Will, and it's called "No Address In the Stars".  This is verse #3:

Without you here with me,

I don't know what to do.

I'd give anything

Just to talk to you

Oh it breaks my heart,

Oh it breaks my heart,

But all I can do

Is write these letters to you,

But there's no address in the stars.

What I wouldn't give to talk with my mother; to ask her simple things like: what she used in her cake batter to make it so moist, what were her dreams and hopes for herself before she got married and had kids.  Did she experience blue days and how did she get through them.  Did she have any regrets in life?  What did she like best about life?

She had so much wisdom to share; I wish I would have listened more and appreciated her more when she was alive.  Now all I have is the memories...... and unanswered questions.   Some days I feel her "mother's love" supporting me, guiding me through......but I'd give my weight in gold to wrap my arms around her once more and tell her "she was loved beyond words" and to listen to her tell me "it will be OK."  There is something about those words coming from "Mom", that really did "make it OK."

I have no children of my own.  I have not known the joy of holding a life born of me in my arms, and having their tiny fingers wrapped around mine as they suckle from my breast.  I will not experience the joys of seeing a son riding bike for the first time, or the horrors of seeing my son falling down and experiencing pain for the first time.  I will not see a daughter walking down the aisle at her wedding, or the birth of a grandchild.  

I will not witness the miracle of birth.  

Though my life is childless, I've plenty to celebrate;  the trials and tribulations of my nieces and nephews and the daughters and sons of countless friends. 

I laugh with the mothers as they chronicle their hectic lives of running to volleyball practice, dance lessons, and gymnastics and "never having any time for themselves."

I cry with them when their child encounters pain and heartache at not making a team or not being 'best friends" with "so and so anymore!" because they were mean.

I offer the mothers objective opinions - when asked to give one, and hold their hands to give them strength when they need to give out that "tough love" that crushes them to the core (but needs to be done).

I celebrate their children's life achievements  (graduation) and cheer with them when they mark a milestone in their child's life (marriage).

My heart aches for them when they let their child experience their own mistakes and stand beside them (helping them to be strong) when they see their child fall from grace and work to get back in to the game of life.

I'm not a Mother - just a friend, of some of the most courageous people on the face of this earth.