I'm tired.
I'm tired. Physically and mentally exhausted. I normally exist on 6.5 - 7 hours but last night I got a solid 8.5 hours of sleep; that rarely happens to me.
What's been going on? Change.
As much as I like to have plan A, B, C, D (and sometimes E) in place, I'm finding out that my neurotic Virgo self is struggling with recent changes in my universe. None of which I can control, hence my mind chatter. I know....I know....let that shit go and roll with it! LOL I think I've been doing ok, for the most part.....I mean, I haven't consumed an entire bottle of Merlot in one sitting, although I've recently given it a good shot.
This weekend has been a struggle for me, which I believe is why slept so much last night, Even with the added sleep, today I'm lethargic and very much in my head.
Did you know it is impossible for the mind to hold two opposing thoughts at the same time? Yep, it's true. When my mind goes down the rabbit hole of despair and anxiety, I quite literally have to talk myself out of the rabbit hole and do the point, counterpoint talk. Do you know how exhausting it is to fight with yourself? LOL
The trick is to let the "let it go" counterpoint win the argument. Easier said than done. :)
Today I am not accomplishing any major tasks - I've given myself permission to wonder aimlessly through the house and do only what I feel like doing, which is nothing - other than making this post and reading in a book (for mind diversion).
I'll be Ok, I always am. I just need to trust the Universe and remember that everything happens for a reason.
Comments
Tonight might prove "interesting" since today I got my 2nd Covid vaccine shot. No telling what kind of after-effects might show up but that's life, eh? Anything to help the vaccination stats here: our country presently at 50% fully (2 shots), with our province having at least 80% (1 shot).
I guess too that we all have that "inner voice" mind chatter, especially when there's change (whether controllable or not) in our lives. And, even when life is boring (with very little "earth shattering" change to fret about), my mind still pops up - wide awake at 3 am - with thoughts of stuff I've recently read in the news, something watched on tv or on the net, or discussed with somebody. Talk about insomnia! I read where it's a common problem for many peeps.
Now, from what I've read (relating to sleep problems), what doesn't help is stuff like:
Too much screen time (tv, e-reader, computer, cell phone) just before bed.
Drinking alcohol (yes, sadly this includes Merlot) too much in the evening.
A bedroom that is too hot, not dark enough, etc.
Too much exercise late into the evening
Not keeping a regular time when going to bed, getting up in the morning.
Of course stress due to issues related to one's relationships or one's job (whether it be conscious or sub-conscious) also can add to the problem.
So, with all that said, and not knowing what are your personal demons (since we all have some of them at times), I can only agree with your approach which is to look for mind diversions, put on soothing music perhaps, turn off all social media drama, get outside for long walks, read / watch some humour stuff.
And if none of that works for you then check that you don't have a case of sleep apnea. Many people have it (to a greater or lesser extent) and don't even know it. Wearing a Fitbit might help you out to find out.
So Ms Broken Mess Warrior, hang in there and, yes, everything does happen for a reason.
I hope you fair well with your 2nd shot! America is struggling to get to get fully vaccinated as well...which is scary with new Delta+ variant hitting our population. Take care of You and Yours!!