Message to my Mom

Today is Mother's Day. 

 I woke up feeling blue and sad; I cried tears before a foot even touched the ground. 

 My thoughts were of you.

I miss you.

I should have been taking you out for lunch and honoring you with giftsor card with cheerful words, but instead my tears flowed like a river down my face.  

I miss you.

You were my rock.  You loved me unconventionally.  You dried my tears,

 hugged the sorrow away, and tended my wounds.

I miss you.

You listened when no one would.  You helped ease the pain in my darkest hours. 

I miss you.

You laughed at my silly jokes, made sure that I was fed and clothed, and loved on a daily basis.

I miss you.

You didn't care that I was a loner, you encouraged me to be who I am, for no one but myself.

  You taught me that it was OK to "just be me."

I miss you.

You were the one voice person in the world who knew what I was feeling

 just by hearing my "hello."  You knew how to dig in to my soul and ease the pain,

 just by holding me and whispering "it will be OK". 

I miss you.

I miss your your laughter, your touch, the way you played ragtime piano so hard the pictures fell off.  I miss your fried chicken, your love of flowers, the twinkle in your eye at an joke,

 and they way loved to love to eat watermelon

 when it was forbidden (when you were on dialysis).

I miss you.

You've been gone from this earth for 18 years.  But you live on inside me. 

 I will never be half the woman you were Mom.  You live on in my heart, my mind, and my soul.

I miss you. 

I love you.