Hello September

Well goodness....the last time I checked in was quite a while ago.  Summer was in full swing and I was enjoying every moment of it. 

Fast forward to today, September 1st.  Wow.  Time sure does fly!  Most of you know I'm a flip flop, tank top, sunroof open, sunshine loving gal. I live for the sun.  But I also love the fall.  There is something about the downshift, the shorter days and yes, even the cooler weather that makes you go ahhhhh.

My summer was good in a lot of ways.  I managed to plant flowers and keep them alive through the heat even (whick is a huge feat for me), although a few of them have perished at my hands.

I had some great times with friends on my patio, rode my bike (yes, Im still on my quest  to ride 400 miles) when I could and even took a spur of the moment trip to Duluth with the hubs. (What a fun place!)

I turn 55 in eight days and Im giving myself an early birthday present...a trip to Nashville!  The opportunity presented itself, thanks to a dear friend, and I took it.  I leave Tuesday and come back on my birthday.  What am I going to do while Georgia is at her conference?  Relax!!  The only thing I have planned is to visit with an old college friend on Thursday.  Otherwise its R & R for me.  Maybe poolside with a book  and a fru-fru drink with a pink umbrella in it!

At any rate, Im taking this trip for me....no worries, no stress, no schedules.

So Hello September...another month...I wonder what it holds.

Exhale Slowly

Sometimes I get ahead of myself.  I over think the crap out of situations and let worry and anxiety take a hold of me.  My heart feels heavy, shoulders burdened and my head feels like it's in a vice grip.    I know this about myself and yet some days I'm powerless to stop the train wreck in my mind.   It never used to be this way. 

There are a series of events happening in my life that I cannot control.  Things that will ultimately affect me in the long run.  I cannot change those outcomes by worrying about them.  But as a dear friend just said to me, "I have faith in you, so breathe deeply, exhale slowly, and repeat if necessary."  So very, very true!   The Universe will show it's hand eventually - I just need to trust in it and learn to roll with whatever cards it throws me.

Today wasn't a good day for me.  I was busier than crap at work, playing catch up.  Although I was busy, my mind still had time to play - to worry and cause anxiety and stress.  My saving grace was that I was able to talk to a friend and let off some steam.  And, I hit the gym.  Nick, once more, saw me in full blown anxiety mode.  And once more, he helped me work through it.  I don't know what I'd do without working out at the gym, yoga or bike riding.  It's been my salvation more often than not.  I told Nick that I was feeling and that I knew that the gym was exactly where I needed to be, and that I needed to use the stress and anxiety to step it up a notch.  His response?  "Use the force.."   Yes Nick...yes I will.  :)

Blaine stopped over tonight and had supper.  We talked.  He has a few anxieties of his own.  I'm glad that I was in a better frame of mind so that I could help him talk through his.  It was his birthday yesterday -(also my sister Peggy's) - and he received a Fitbit Blaze from his parents for his birthday present.  As his father left for Germany, I was tasked with helping him set up his Fitbit.  I've said it a 1,000 times and I'll say it a 1,000 more - he is the light of my soul.   Blaine and I have a tight bond, we always will.   I know it's not fair to my other nieces and nephews, and I hope they understand.  I don't love them any less...it's just the bond I have with Blaine goes back to when he was a baby and I held him on my chest while he was sleeping as I was babysitting him. 

I hope I was able to help him a little bit.  In truth, he helped me. 

So tonight I am continuing to breathe deeply, exhale slowly, and repeat as necessary. 

Weekend Update

Well hello, blog stalkers!   Hope your weekend has been exactly as you've planned.   As usual, I'm writing this on a Sunday.  I always have good intentions of updating my blog on a daily basis, but fall short of the goal.  So much life going on. 

Summer is in full swing, although today you wouldn't know it.  It's a balmy 62, cloudy and breezy  in the northland.  That didn't stop me from going on a 22.80 mile bike ride this morning.  I didn't intend to go that far, but the legs felt good and I was in the mood to ride.  I was ten miles in to the ride when my chain slipped off.  Not what you want to happen when you're riding in town, let alone out at Pipestem Dam...but I was able to get it back on and continued on my ride.  It was actually my first time out at the Pipestem.  I can't believe it took me until the end o June to get out there.  Pipestem holds a special place in my heart and I love it out there.  Today may have been the first time out there, but it won't be the last this summer/fall.

I had friends over to the house last night for drinks, dinner and a Netflix movie.  It was supposed to be a patio party with grilling and a fire pit, but the wind was horrendous and it was cold...so we moved it inside.  It was a great time - as always- with the ladies.  I'm hoping to do more of those throughout the summer - weather cooperating.  

Work is going ok, for the most part.   Just when everyone is seemingly working together as a cohesive unit, something (or someone) always seems to cause a rift and morale goes down the tubes.  It makes it hard to walk in to work in the morning.  I love my job and the work I do. I can generally roll with whatever happens, but lately it's getting harder and harder to do.  Handling the personalities, trying to be upbeat and a peacekeeper at work is difficult.  Working in a prison is difficult; the energy is dark and draining - but it's made worse when coworkers can't play nice.  But go to work I must - the benefits (health insurance) are needed - especially since T is on Medicare and needs my insurance as a supplement.  

This upcoming week/weekend is the Stutsman County Fair.   I may be almost 55, but I'm a kid at heart when it comes to the Fair.  I'm sure that I'll be making an appearance at least a few nights.  I know that T wants to go to the Rodeo at least one night as well.   And even more importantly, we'll be getting the customary foot long hotdog.  It is ALL about the food!

 

What is one to say about June, the time of perfect young summer, the fulfillment of the promise of the earlier months, and with as yet no sign to remind one that its fresh young beauty will ever fade. ~Gertrude Jekyll

Lunchtime Musings of a Working Superwoman

Lunchtime musings of a working superwoman:
1) sometimes people are afraid to hear the truth as it causes them to face their own truth
2) if you think you're perfect and above reproach, think again.... we All have our issues,
3) sometimes criticism really is meant to be helpful, but it depends on the delivery,
4) seasoned veterans are called that for a reason...they've been through the muck in the trenches.  They know the score.  Listen to what they have to say,
5) talk is cheap, but it takes money to buy whiskey,
6) don't ever forget where you came from...we were all peons once,
7) when in doubt,  don't assume...Ask...communication really IS a good thing.  Really.,
8) sometimes you do really need to give a shit! Go out on a limb and stand up for what you believe in.  Don't let anyone quiet your voice or break your spirit
9)life isn't fair...if it were, there would be peace, love and harmony everywhere.  Let your character and integrity speak loudly. Make sure you've thought about the lesson you've just been handed and take every opportunity to learn from it
10) my musings are observations and opinions of mine...they're directed towards NO ONE.  However, if you feel I'm speaking to you or about you, I refer you back to #7.