September - the New New Year ?

 I know that New Years Eve and New Years Day are the traditional days to make a plan for fresh beginnings and resolutions.  I've always looked at September as the New, New Year.   

It seems like the perfect time to downshift a bit after the craziness of the summer.   I  love the long days, sunshine, hot weather and everything that entails.....outside patio time, flowers, nights by the firepit, gathering with family and friends, flip flops, tank tops and just everything summer.  But as happy as I am to experience everything that summer represents to me, I'm equally as happy to see Autumn arrive.

The shorter days allow me to downshift and breathe.  I'm admittedly guilty of living life to the nth degree; I'm a participant and not an observer.   As darkness and cooler weather arrive, I relish the slower pace of life.   September always holds a magical essence for me; it's been an unofficial time of renewal in my life.  Perhaps because it's the month of my birth...my beginning in life.  

When I was little, the starting of school always meant that it was time to buckle down and find more routine.   You know the typical things that parents had you do when you were little: do your homework, do your chores, eat your vegetables,  remember to brush your teeth before bed, bed time at a certain time. 

As an adult, it is of the same except on an adult scale; looking at finances and finding ways to save money or cut back on spending, investment status and goals, diet/exercise regime (either set up a plan, fine tune plan or recommit), indoor household projects to accomplish over the fall and winter months, develop  a winter book reading list, recommit to journaling/blogging, and most importantly....self reflection....what makes me tic, what I'd like to work on in my personality...overall...become better than I was yesterday.  

The self reflection one is a doozy.  What makes me tic and what can I do better; pretty heavy stuff.  It require a lot of willingness to dig down in to the soul and to see what you're made of.   I like to think that I'm made of light, but if I'm honest with myself, there is plenty of darkness there to work on.   I'd let you in on my self-improvement list, but some of it is pretty personal stuff.  You understand, I'm sure.  :)  Just know that each and every day is a new day to "get it right". 

So today, September 2nd is a day that I'm taking inventory and getting a jump start on the new New Year.   (Never too early - or late - to start self improvement!)

i carry your heart with me

Poetry....it says so much.   Emotions spill out on the page.  Thoughts, meanings, feelings laid bare in the nuances and cadence of words.

This....this poem...is one of my favorites...and holds great meaning for me.

i carry your heart with me

Words

Sometimes words fail me. Oh perhaps the more accurate statement is my voice fails me.   I am a relatively smart person.  I have fairly good grasp of the English language, my vocabulary is broad, I'm knowledgeable of current events, I'm well read, and I have opinions.

With all of that going for me, I find it difficult to speak - with a modicum of intelligence - in certain instances.   

I listen as others voice opinions.  I have my own.  But I seldom voice them.  On the rare occasion that I do, I find myself feeling uncomfortable and uneasy.   I hear a voice in my head saying "you're not interesting enough for them to listen to you," or I feel all eyes on me and I want to shrink in to the background.

I've taught classes in front of hundreds of insurance professionals, I've taught software demonstrations to insurance agents, taught yoga to hundreds of students, stress management to correctional employees and never batted an eye.   But to voice an opinion in a group of people?  Oh  Hell No!  LOL

My father used to say that if you wanted to lose family and friendships, all you needed to do was 1) loan them money and 2) talk politics and religion.    Two things, I might add, that my father never did.   Perhaps I'm taking after my  father?     Opinions should be kept to myself, yes?   Or do I fear losing people close to me by telling them how I really feel.   

Then there is the old adage:  "Better to let them think you a fool, than to open mouth and prove it."    Maybe that is where I get my reservation from.    

I'm a strong, articulate woman.....who is perfectly fine letting others speak their minds.   I'll keep my opinions to myself, I won't lose relationships, and no one will think I'm the fool!  😉

Good Thoughts, Good Deeds

I absolutely loved the movie, Bohemian Rhapsody.  Aside from the music of Queen and biographical story of Freddie Mercury, it had a message...perhaps even a few...for those who were paying attention.

Freddie's father set a standard for Freddie of " Good Thoughts, Good Deeds" and shunned Freddie and his lifestyle when Freddie didn't display the proper behavior.   

In the end, Freddie and his father mended fences when Freddie (and Queen) played for Live Aid, a concert to benefit famine. 

That scene touched my heart so much.  I've watched Bohemian Rhapsody multiple times just to see that scene.  (Ok..and for the music too!) 

Why am I writing of this?  A couple of reasons.   I guess that the first would be ...judgement and redemption.  Let's face it...none...and I mean NONE of us are 100% as pure as the driven snow.  We have all made questionable decisions or actions. And we've all been judged by someone at one time or another.  We've probably even done some judging as well.  If we can point out someone else's flaws, then surely ours don't look so bad,  right?

Like Freddie, we all have redeeming qualities.  And it's important to find redemption in our hearts.  Why?  Because we need to love and forgive ourselves first. If we wait for forgiveness and approval from others, you're going to be waiting for a while. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure I want approval from someone who just looked down their nose at me. Those people do.not.matter.to.me! Quite frankly, I dont need any one's approval.  I know who I am, what I am, what I believe in, and walk my path.

The second reason I write this is ...good deeds.  There are different kinds of deeds: big, flashy, look-what-I-did deeds and the smaller, quiet, let-me-help-you deeds.  Both of them are appreciated.  The motives behind them are the same...to help and do good.  One is flashy. One is subtle. Which means more?  If you've just lost your shop due to a fire, the help of your best friend on his days off  means the world.  If you are elderly and cannot pay for your groceries, the kindness of a stranger paying for them will stick with you forever.  It doesn't matter how grand or how small...it just matters that you do something...and with the right intention.