may 17, 2023

It's Wednesday and my day is ok.  I'm working remotely today and it's been quite the day.   My day started out with two little girls.  Their mother had a schedule conflict and needed someone to get her girls to school.  I was able to have them from 720 until about 750 then trucked them off to school but not before getting a selfie with them in honor of "sunglasses day."

Then my sister stopped over for a bit to share all the craziness in her life.   And my best friend Rick called to tell me exciting news in his life..ie new relationship with Vickie.  

My mind isn't really on work right now as it is gorgeous outside.   I love hearing the birds chirping and feeling the breeze wafting in through the windows. 

I'm having some emotional issues ...feelings...

that I'm having difficulty putting in to words or putting a word to.  I am busy yet, not.  I am fulfilled, yet not.  I'm strong, yet not.  I'm happy, yet not.  I'm living, yet not.  So hard to describe.  I am concerned.  I do so much for everyone...I am that friend that everyone calls on for help.  I pride myself on being "that friend"....yet sometimes I feel as if I'm an afterthought (burden) to them when I need a shoulder. They've never done anything to make me think that...it's a perception I have...perhaps because I have difficulty opening up to people and letting them in.  So maybe it's me?  

I just don't feel like I'm living my best life right now...like there has got to be more.  I'm blessed snd I am grateful for what I have..truly, I am...there are so many people less fortunate than me. I'm just feeling like I'm going through the motions of living.  Is this what every (almost) 61 yr old feels?