Beast of a Day...no..Week!

Make it stop!   This week has been insane, and it's only Wednesday!!

My co-workers say I'm spicy.  I call it standing up for myself.

I normally roll...and roll...and roll...until I can't roll any more.  Then the filter comes off and I speak my mind.  I don't do well with micro managers.  I'm almost 59 years old and have been doing my job for 23 years.  I know what needs to be done...and when.  So when I'm getting emails that 'poke' at MY work ethic, hell yeah I'm going to get spicey!  

I've found that communication,  or lack thereof, can make or break anything!.

Today was a prime example.  My facility went live in to Phase 3 visitation (from Covid).  All well and good, except I knew nothing about it..and I'm the Scheduling/Visitation officer.  To add fuel to the fire, there was no set schedule.  My immediate supervisor fires off an email that reads, and I quote, "you need to change from Phase 2 to 3 immediately."   My response?  Quote. "Gladly. When I know what the exact scedule is".  Went over like a lead balloon.  

 Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.  

Luckily for everyone involved, I was working remotely today.  The only one affected by my screamiing outrage was my husband...and the batteries on his hearing aides died!

I'm optimistic though.  Tomorrow is a new day...and I'm positive there will be another shit show that demands my immediate attention. 

I'm tired.

I'm tired.  Physically and mentally exhausted.   I normally exist on 6.5 - 7 hours but last night I got a solid 8.5 hours of sleep; that rarely happens to me.  

What's been going on?  Change. 

As much as I like to have plan A, B, C, D (and sometimes E) in place, I'm finding out that my neurotic Virgo self is struggling with recent changes in my universe.  None of which I can control, hence my mind chatter.   I know....I know....let that shit go and roll with it!  LOL  I think I've been doing ok, for the most part.....I mean, I haven't consumed an entire bottle of Merlot in one sitting, although I've recently given it a good shot.

This weekend has been a struggle for me, which I believe is why slept so much last night,  Even with the added sleep, today I'm lethargic and very much in my head. 

Did you know it is impossible for the mind to hold two opposing thoughts at the same time?  Yep, it's true.   When my mind goes down the rabbit hole of despair and anxiety, I quite literally have to talk myself out of the rabbit hole and do the point, counterpoint talk.    Do you know how exhausting it is to fight with yourself?  LOL   

The trick is to let the "let it go" counterpoint win the argument.  Easier said than done.  :)

Today I am not accomplishing any major tasks - I've given myself permission to wonder aimlessly through the house and do only what I feel like doing, which is nothing - other than making this post and reading in a book (for mind diversion).   

I'll be Ok, I always am.  I just need to trust the Universe and remember that everything happens for a reason.