Hello, It's Me.
Allow me to reintroduce myself...I am Sherry. I've been silent for far too long, but the voices in my head are full of chatter.
My anxiety has been at fever pitch for quite awhile..and today is no exception. You know the phrase, "there is only one constant in life, and that is life is always changing". Ohhh so true.
I'm a flexible person ..I truly am...but there are so many changes happening in my world that it's kicking my ass. I'm a classic Virgo...I worry...about everything and everyone. I worry about things that happened 20 years ago, relive conversations and speculate about "I wonder what they meant", and I worry about things that may not ever happen. But me, being me, I want to plan the scenarios so that I'm prepared for every possible outcome...you know, so my anxiety is more manageable when "it happens, because I'll be 'prepared'. What the hell, Sherry!! Nothing like being a little neurotic!
My work world is changing, my friend's lives are changing (yes, I have anxety FOR them too...because"how will their changes affect me?) and my personal life is changing.
Everything is changing and I am trying really hard to manage it all.
The yoga teacher in me tells my brain to just breathe in, breathe out...to not worry and steal time from the beauty of today...to live in the present..this moment.
Ok. In this monent, I'm a hot mess!
I refer back to a mantra that I stated to myself every.single day six years ago when my anxiety and depression had me in the depth of despair.
I am Sherry,
In all my messy glory.
I will breathe, I will live, I will survive.
Comments
Howdy do, my blog buddy friend. Remember me? 'Tis Rob, your faithful reader from the frozen tundra, up north (well not really during these hot 90F+ summer days).
It would appear that you've been (shall we say) a tad preoccupied with life over these past FIVE MONTHS of your blogging silence. Nothing like loading a little bit more stress on you, right now, eh? (just kidding !!!!)
Anywho, it seems that in reading your words this morning you might appear to need a few words of encouragement from: "the ROB MAN".
Remember what I used to tell you here? (or at least I think I did, but I could be mistaken):
Stuff like:
Don't sweat the small stuff because everything in life is just simply that - only small stuff - in the grand scheme of things.
Or this one:
Don't worry about events from the past, they're behind you, just learn from them and then forget about them.
Don't worry about what "might happen" in the future. You have no control over them. Often many of them don't ever occur anyway. All you can do is to plan carefully for them.
Instead just concern yourself with today, enjoy it, live it to the fullest because it only lasts 24 hours and then it's gone - forever. So don't waste it.
Perhaps you might consider all of the above to be merely simple platitudes but regularly think carefully about them nevertheless.
I of course have no way of knowing about all the issues that have concerned you over the past (and nor do I need to know because they're personal) other than just to offer my mental support to you over these electronic waves.
So each day instead, look for beauty, look for humour, look for hope, look for challenges, and look for friendships - wherever you can find them.
Later gator. Keep smiling there buddy !!! Don't be a stranger please.
Thank you for All of those gentle reminders. I WILL be using them in the days ahead. I had a full own anxiety-panic attack yesterday and had to express myself through the blogospere. It helped, some....between crying spells. I did end up calling a girlfriend and she came over to watch a new movie "In the Heights" on HBOMax. It got my mind out of the vicious dialog cycle, so the distraction worked.
I am better today. The sun always comes up, eh? (Notice that eh? I now speak Canadian!) ;)
Now that I've broken my writing drought, you'll be hearing from me again. It is always comforting to know my presence is missed :)
Thank you SO much for your words of encouragement!
Hope all is well with you and yours!
Thanks for getting back to me here. Sorry to read about you having one of those anxiety-panic attacks the other day. Don't they just suck, eh? :-)
Yes, I caught the "eh" in your reply. I figure to make you a quasi Canadian all in due course. Of course your girlfriend there might start looking at you strange if you start talking "like that", n'est-ce pas? (that's Canuk French).
To be sure, lady, your presence has been missed.
All is well here, generally speaking, although our latest infestation of caterpillars (soon to turn into gypsy moths) is a bummer. Oh well, at least we don't (yet) have any cicadas to worry about, like many of you guys in the states have to contend with.
Talk about not sweating the "small stuff", eh? :-)
Take care.