Words
Sometimes words fail me. Oh perhaps the more accurate statement is my voice fails me. I am a relatively smart person. I have fairly good grasp of the English language, my vocabulary is broad, I'm knowledgeable of current events, I'm well read, and I have opinions.
With all of that going for me, I find it difficult to speak - with a modicum of intelligence - in certain instances.
I listen as others voice opinions. I have my own. But I seldom voice them. On the rare occasion that I do, I find myself feeling uncomfortable and uneasy. I hear a voice in my head saying "you're not interesting enough for them to listen to you," or I feel all eyes on me and I want to shrink in to the background.
I've taught classes in front of hundreds of insurance professionals, I've taught software demonstrations to insurance agents, taught yoga to hundreds of students, stress management to correctional employees and never batted an eye. But to voice an opinion in a group of people? Oh Hell No! LOL
My father used to say that if you wanted to lose family and friendships, all you needed to do was 1) loan them money and 2) talk politics and religion. Two things, I might add, that my father never did. Perhaps I'm taking after my father? Opinions should be kept to myself, yes? Or do I fear losing people close to me by telling them how I really feel.
Then there is the old adage: "Better to let them think you a fool, than to open mouth and prove it." Maybe that is where I get my reservation from.
I'm a strong, articulate woman.....who is perfectly fine letting others speak their minds. I'll keep my opinions to myself, I won't lose relationships, and no one will think I'm the fool! 😉
Comments
By no means do I consider myself to be an extrovert, a person who is a "legend in his own mind", a person who craves to be the center of attention, who talks excessively about my own tastes, opinions, views, etc etc.
Nope, I not one of those types who intimidate or turn off people with what I think, in contrast to what others think. However -
Neither am I an introvert, a person who keeps silent, who never dares give an opinion for fear of "what people might think", who is afraid to tell people what is correct, what is honest. I could go on ...
Sure, people have strong opinions - about money, politics, religion, race, whatever. And sure, at times it's best to remain silent and tactful since you see that you're never going to change the other person's mind about something so why rock the boat.
But ... if no one ever spoke up at times to state an honest opinion, to risk stating what is right, to have the courage to give honest feedback in an honest respectful but clear way, to impart knowledge through having gone through the "school of hard knocks" and having learned hard lessons that you see that another might be ignorant of, then ...
How do we all learn anything important if everyone stayed silent, their silence giving the impression of being in agreement when at times the exact opposite was true? I don't think that this would work out for anyone.
Staying silent might not lose relationships but then again it might not gain any more worthy new ones either, in my opinion. In watching American politics from abroad, I tend to see a lot of people staying silent, not speaking their minds, especially at Trump gatherings... Just saying.
I'm sorry that I didn't have the chance to join you and your spirited lady friends in your discussions. However, since I would have been outnumbered, being the only guy there, I guess it was probably for the best that I didn't crash your wine party.
I'm happy to see that you enjoyed yourself. Since your blog post title refers to "Words", all I can add to my previous comments is that Words do have power - when freely spoken, when tactfully held back, when shared with intelligent expressive informed flexible others (like your girlfriend), or kept back from those too stubbornly ignorant and set in their ways.
For you I hope that you engage in further good spirited discussions with people such as your friends. Don't hold back your opinions. No one should so long as respect, civility, and perspective are maintained.
And the next time - perhaps invite me along? I'll bring the wine. :-)