What is my greatest fear
..in life.
Someone recently asked me that question. I instantly choked up and teared up when I gave my response, "If I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing." I answered.
They asked, "In this moment? Right now?"
"In my life."
They wanted me to elaborate but I couldn't, because I was emotional as hell and couldn't form a coherent thought, let alone a sentence, if my life had depended on it.
But I'm calmer now and more able to answer them - if they're reading this, that is.
My biggest fear in life is perhaps not "If I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing," as I originally answered, but more of "Am I doing enough."
I'm a firm believer in the phrase, "Life is not a spectator sport." It's meant to be lived and experienced, and not to be enjoyed from a rocking chair looking out the window...unless, of course, I'm 99 years old and am no longer ambulatory.
Why do I believe this?
For many years I stopped living. I was 100 lbs over weight, I was unhappy with my life and ate myself in to oblivion so I could escape the pain I was feeling, with myself, my weight, my relationships, jobs, everything. I did a good job of acting. One of my neighbors gave me what she thought was a compliment, "You have such a pretty face" and "You're so jovial...so cute and round just like a cherub."
Right. Tell a fat girl she's cute and round...that'll make her feel sooooo much better.
I've worked hard to lose weight in order to be healthier in not only my body but my mind as well. I've done well with that, I think. Oh sure, I could always be better, but who couldn't? No one is perfect. Perfection is just an illusion as it's realistically unattainable.
But my greatest fear is am I doing enough with my life.
I don't want to be one of those people who sits back to write their own obituary (so their family doesn't have to) and end up writing a few sentences because they can't think of a single thing that they've accomplished in their life. You know the one that would say, "Sherry Schutt died today at age 50. She was a good person who loved life and did absolutely NOTHING to show that she did."
I want to know that I did ENOUGH to fill the page with LIFE...to show that I loved it and lived it.
I don't want to be on my deathbed and have the one regret of wishing I had done more with my life.
Someone recently asked me that question. I instantly choked up and teared up when I gave my response, "If I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing." I answered.
They asked, "In this moment? Right now?"
"In my life."
They wanted me to elaborate but I couldn't, because I was emotional as hell and couldn't form a coherent thought, let alone a sentence, if my life had depended on it.
But I'm calmer now and more able to answer them - if they're reading this, that is.
My biggest fear in life is perhaps not "If I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing," as I originally answered, but more of "Am I doing enough."
I'm a firm believer in the phrase, "Life is not a spectator sport." It's meant to be lived and experienced, and not to be enjoyed from a rocking chair looking out the window...unless, of course, I'm 99 years old and am no longer ambulatory.
Why do I believe this?
For many years I stopped living. I was 100 lbs over weight, I was unhappy with my life and ate myself in to oblivion so I could escape the pain I was feeling, with myself, my weight, my relationships, jobs, everything. I did a good job of acting. One of my neighbors gave me what she thought was a compliment, "You have such a pretty face" and "You're so jovial...so cute and round just like a cherub."
Right. Tell a fat girl she's cute and round...that'll make her feel sooooo much better.
I've worked hard to lose weight in order to be healthier in not only my body but my mind as well. I've done well with that, I think. Oh sure, I could always be better, but who couldn't? No one is perfect. Perfection is just an illusion as it's realistically unattainable.
But my greatest fear is am I doing enough with my life.
I don't want to be one of those people who sits back to write their own obituary (so their family doesn't have to) and end up writing a few sentences because they can't think of a single thing that they've accomplished in their life. You know the one that would say, "Sherry Schutt died today at age 50. She was a good person who loved life and did absolutely NOTHING to show that she did."
I want to know that I did ENOUGH to fill the page with LIFE...to show that I loved it and lived it.
I don't want to be on my deathbed and have the one regret of wishing I had done more with my life.
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