Friday, May 2, 2025

I've purposely been missing in action.  Until recently, I haven't realized the intensity of my stress level has been.  After my return from Arizona, my energies were put towards work, getting caught up on my workload (which is non-ending), training my co-team lead on the grievance procedure, meetings, setting up a policy procedure and incorporating a new person into our team dynamics.  I have always been prideful of my ability to handle stress and multi-task; I thought I was doing well.   Until I wasn't.

Tom and I left April 19th for a scheduled vacation; I scheduled two full weeks out of the office.  In my attempt to have everyone set up to carry on while I was gone (including having all of my work done and staff cross trained to handle things while I was gone), I realized how beat down, stressed and tired I was.  Being the senior staff in the office, I have taken on the mentorship role (of sorts) to the younger staff in the office.  My co-team lead is phenomenal, and we work well together on so many levels.  But at times I feel that she looks to me for guidance on certain things; other times she's the proverbial bull in a china shop (her words, not mine!).

While traveling, each day I felt the stress and tension begin to fall away from my shoulder and I felt 'at ease' with myself; I haven't felt that in a while.  I started to also realize how neglectful I've been towards my health.  On more than one occasion, I would cancel my planned workouts in order to stay at work and 'get ahead of things' for the next day.  I wasn't the over-achiever but rather trying to reduce my stress level at trying to get the work done so that I wouldn't have to face it the next day.  Worse yet, I wasn't getting paid overtime for it.  I did 'flex' out some of those hours, but not near what I should have. I didn't want to take the time away because then I'd feel more stress with the work facing me on my return.   Wow!

I don't like what the stress has been doing to my mental health and my body. For me to cancel my workout plans to stay and work is just insane.  I'm pretty sure my tombstone will not read "Here lays a dedicated State employee".  

I'm 62 years of age. I've already put the Warden and staff on notice that my absolute last day of work in office will be December 31, 2027.  I have made no secret about that. Every year I age, Tom ages as well (he'll be 75 in December). If I can figure out the insurance thing until I hit Medicare age, I may just try and go sooner. It's the whole money thing, you know?  Also, what will I do when I retire...get another job?  If that's the case, I should stay working at my current job and stack my retirement funds.  Ugh, decisions!!

Then there is the 'age' thing at work; I won't say it's outright age discrimination but there certainly are some age jokes being told around me and to me.  I hate that.  I don't want to become irrelevant because of my age.  Maybe that's a factor of my stress as well?  I mean, maybe -in my subconscious - I feel I need to be a step above so the 'young'uns' don't make fun of me?  

So yeah, I've been purposely MIA; I unplugged from the news and all social media.  All in an effort to de-stress, work through my 1–2-year plan, set personal boundaries so that I don't feel this stressed again.  Stop going in early, staying late and stop canceling workouts! Mentor, yes; take on everyone's problems and try to fix them, NO.  Boundaries, Sherry! 

We'll see how this works for me.   Stay tuned!






Thursday, April 3, 2025

I was very fortunate to spend 3 days in Arizona with my best friends, Vickie and Donna to celebrate Donna's birthday which was March 31st.   It was a short trip this time, leaving on Saturday the 29th and returning on Tuesday, April 1st.   Donna is the brightest light in the Universe and when the three of us get together, it is magical!  I mean, we're the Three Amigos! :)

The first night there, we did a healing float at the Mesa Aquatics Center. We floated on boards in the pool while a Native American flutist played, while the yoga teacher lead us into a guided mediation (Yoga Nidra).  Right up my alley!  We were under the stars, floating on water ...what more could I have asked for!  I'm not so sure Vickie enjoyed it though.  It was difficult for her to get on/off the board due to her recent cracked pelvis (three weeks ago).  It's been bothering her a lot to walk, which is why I reserved a wheelchair for her in Fargo and Mesa.  

We hung out at Donna's for the most part.  We had a wee bit of coffee with our Bailey's Irish Cream every morning! :)  Oh my gosh, what a delight to just bask in the morning sun, drinking coffee in my pj's, laughing with my best friends.  No topic is taboo or off limits with us; there are no boundaries and no judgment with us.  We've been through everything together in the last 25 years that nothing surprises anymore.  

We watched movies, drank great wine, ate grate food and just enjoyed.  We promised Donna that we'd be back for a week in November; I'm already looking forward to it!

Yesterday was my first day back at the office.  My co-team lead did a great job in holding down the fort while I was gone.   There is a young gal in my office that is going through some issues with her ex-husband and his girlfriend; all three of them work at the prison. Co-parenting wasn't an issue until the 'girlfriend' started making demands and creating problems for my co-worker.  All three of them seem to have an issue with keeping their personal life, personal.  This is now affecting my department, so I had to be the bad ass and have the tough talk with her.  I hate doing that, but it comes with the territory of being a supervisor.

I abhor drama, absolutely despise being drawn in to something that doesn't affect me personally, especially in this stage of my life. My mottos is Protect My Peace.  I try to do everything in my power to live in a state of tranquility, so when that is interrupted, I get pretty owly!  LOL   Is this age or wisdom?   You couldn't pay me enough money to relive my 20's, 30's or 40's again!  (Fifty wasn't so bad)  LOL

Tomorrow is my 1/2 day (flex schedule).  I have a few appointments in the afternoon then a crab fest with my sister and her boyfriend at the Elks Lodge.  Pretty lowkey weekend after that; nothing but laundry, cleaning and the gym (to work off my vacation fluffiness!).  

Donna and her 'melons'

Made some jewelry all by myself, with a LOT of help from Donna!

Did I mention we drank alot of Bailey's Irish Cream? (OK, it was from Costco, but it was dang good!)

Me and my friend Vickie ready to fly the friendly skies to Arizona!


Sunday, March 23, 2025

There's been a lot going on in my world...and yet...not.   I sometimes feel like I'm in a 'rinse and repeat' cycle of life.  Oh sure, there is a sprinkling of drama, anxiety, that other earthlings interject into my day.  Or the occasional scary health bullshit to throw a wrench in an otherwise mechanical day.  All in all, dare I say that I am (insert dramatic gasp) boring?   Or is this age...pardon me...MATURITY... talking? I can't say that it's a bad thing really.  I mean, I'll take 'rinse and repeat' over constant angst, drama, anxiety and stress any day!   That shit can kill you! But on the other hand, I'd like to feel like my life is something other than boring or monotonous.  

So here I sit, in my office on a Sunday afternoon trying to think of something witty and entertaining to write.  Just how does one write about entertaining things when life is monotonous?

I thought about writing about President Baboon and his boy Elroy.   Nah, not really feeling it.  That borders on toxicity, and I just don't need that on a day of rest.  

I didn't go to the gym this morning.  I wasn't feeling that either. I've been there 5 days this week and my body was in strike mode when I climbed out of bed this morning.   

I did watch a peculiar little murder mystery on Netflix recently.  If you haven't seen The Residence, it's a good one to binge in a weekend.  It had me guessing until the last 5 minutes of the last episode.  If you watch it and tell me you guessed it in the first episode, we can no longer be friends!

Books?  Well, I'm proud to say that I've now read 8 books in 2025.  Were they books of substance?  Not a chance in hell.  They were pure spicy, dark romance; I loved every scintillating page! This is a judgement free zone!

I had a consult with a knee surgeon on Tuesday.  She said that I'm in the severe range and will definitely need a knee replacement. I guess I'll have to figure out a time frame and schedule when the timing is right.  Until then, it's cortisone shots, leg and quad strengthening exercises, yoga, bike riding and a shit-ton of Voltarin (topical anti-inflammatory) and Extra-Strength Tylenol Arthritis.  (Here's that age and maturity) thing creeping in!  

The family is doing good - everyone is still alive.  (A little dark humor there since my siblings are in their 70's and 80's).  I'm really going to HATE myself if something happens to any one of them now.  

I have had 3 alcoholic beverages since December.  I was in the mood for going on a good bender this weekend.  I went to the liquor store to purchase wine and a 4-pak of a mixed drink - something called Peach Paradise.  I think there was Vodka in it.   Everything is still in the fridge.  Once again, age and maturity? 

So here I sit, trying to think of something witty and entertaining to write about my boring, monotonous life and can't come up with a single damn thing.  

I'm going to go fold laundry.  (Age and maturity)