Firsts

It's amazing how fulfilling stepping out of one's comfort zone can be.  During this past weekend I did just that, twice.

On Friday night I walked in a parade.  That's a first for me.   I've watched plenty of them but never walked in one.   JRCC A-shift (and friends) constructed a float that ultimately won "Most Original" float of the parade.   It was an amazing concept of a gift, wrapped with a bow and tag "From JRCC."   But, the sides opened up to reveal a family sitting I in front of the fire place and the Christmas tree.   It was a brilliant concept and executed beautifully.  Thank you A-shift.  I walked with an ICAP dog named Ida.  She's a pretty little golden lab.  Our start to the evening was a little rough as I scared her by wearing a bombardier hat. However, we made up and she did very well through the parade considering it was her first parade too.    It was blooming cold though.  And I loved every single minute of it! 

JRCC has been very short staffed.  Every day the Admin Captain sends out emails about shift open to work.   I bit the bullet and signed up for a shift which was last night.   I signed up for the 2-10 shift and worked with A-shift in the SAU (Special Assistance Unit) for the criminally disturbed inmates.  It was quite interesting.  I was very nervous but towards the end of the shift I was settling in to the routine.   I was on guard with everything and everyone (inmates).  I observed the stellar work of the correctional officers as they interacted with inmates that could turn on them in a heartbeat.  They seemed relaxed but I knew they were ready to react in a heartbeat.  They're professionals and great at what they do.  One of the officers asked me if I had a good shift.  I replied, "I guess so."  He's an older man who is actually retiring today due to health issues (cancer).   He smiled and asked me these questions.  1)  Did anyone escape? 2) Did anyone die? 3) Are you going home?    When I answered No, No and Yes, he said, "Then you had a good shift."   (Thank you Lloyd).   

I was fortunate to work with A-shift.  I have a lot of friends on A-shift.  They helped me be not quite as nervous and filled me in on what to expect.   I've worked at the prison for 15 years but this is only the 2nd shift that I've worked.   Now that I know I can be an effective shift member, I will sign up for another shift if needed - and my schedule allows.  

Caring

This quote was on my calendar today.  Loved it so much I had to share:

The capacity for caring illuminates any relationship.   The more people you care about, and the more intensely you care, the more alive you are

Where To Start

It's been far, far too long since my last post on this blog.   It's not that I haven't had plenty to blog about, I have.   It's been a shortage of time and desire to do so. 

 

Life has gotten busy, too busy at times.  I have a sense of being overwhelmed with work, my mother-in-law and yoga.   

 

Work:  It seems as if someone flipped a switch and my workload went turbo.  We are launching a new software at work and I'm part of the team that is testing it for accuracy of rollover database information, bugs and overall performance.  While it's been great to get back to something I loved to do in a previous job (over 25 years ago), it's also been a bit frustrating.  I haven't always  been given access to all areas of the software (control issues).  Testing then becomes a question of whether it's an honest programming error or an access error.  Not to mention testing takes time away from an increasing workload that seems to be growing daily.  The go-live date for the program was to have been November 15th but has since been moved back to December 6th due to the incredible amount of program errors that have been found.  Once the new software patch is installed on Monday, I'll be expected to test the software thoroughly - again.   The best part of all of this is job security. 

 

Mother-In-law:   My sweet 94 yr old mother-in-law isn't doing the greatest.  She has now developed pneumonia along with becoming increasingly confused, weak and frail.  I worry about her.  When I have spare time, I try and spend time with her.  Tom and I seem to be the primary ones caring for her needs.  It's a good thing that T is retired and can visit with her twice a day and accompany her to doctor appointments. 

 

Yoga:  It seems that my name has really gotten out with regards to yoga.  In the last month or so I've had quite a few inquiries about yoga classes.  Of course, it is fall/winter so people are taking things in doors and looking for activities to keep them active. 

 

As a result of a survey, I am now going to teach yoga every Saturday - at least through the winter and spring months.  I've also started teaching every Saturday at Anytime Fitness, in addition to the Tuesday night class I teach there.  Numbers for that class have been low but I'm not extremely worried.  I don't believe people have caught on yet that I teach there on Saturdays.   If numbers do not increase there, that's alright - I'll just discontinue that class and head to the gym during that time frame. (I need to work on my cardio anyway!)

 

I've also been contacted by a group of senior ladies who would like to do yoga every other Friday for a 1/2 hour.  They will be paying regular class rates but for only 1/2 hour of class time. I squeeze them in between work and my nursing home peeps!  :) 

 

I just finished a weekend yoga retreat, my 4th annual, at the Lakeview Meadow cabins.  What an amazing weekend, as always.  It is a lot of work for me as host, cook and teach yoga.  Every year I swear that I will not do another one, yet I find myself looking forward to the next year and eventually end up scheduling the retreat.

 

I'm doing some minor decorating to the yoga studio.  I had a dear friend do some photography for me this past week.  I'm in the process of having some posters made from some amazing photos, along with a few 4x6's for my desk.  The pictures are beautiful and the photographer/friend did an amazing job!  Thank you!!  I can't wait for you to see your work hung in my studio!

 

 

Feel Alive

I've been dealing with my mother-in-law since we admitted her to the nursing home last Wednesday.  It's difficult to see her there in this state.  She's always been a symbol of strength in my mind, always finding ways to get exercise and had the "I'll do it" mentality.  Not so much now.   She's in a lot of pain and has lost her appetite.  She weighs 87 lbs fully clothed.  Her lack of appetite is affecting her physical state; she is weak and all she wants to do is sleep.  I worry about her a great deal.  While I hope for the best, I fear for the worst if things do not turn around for her, soon.    Tom is trying to be strong but I know he feels the weight of the world on his shoulders.  I worry about him too.  I do as much as I can to assure him that it'll be alright, but I know his mind is constantly working about what needs to be done if, and when, his mother passes.

As for me, having Ella has brought back memories from when my mother and grandmother were in the nursing home.  In fact, Ella is in the same room that my grandmother was in.  She was 94 when she passed away in '95.  In a lot of respects, they remind me of each other.

I'm doing alright for the most part.  I feel an incredible amount of stress laying on my shoulders right now.  Work is definitely busy and challenging.  I am getting more work projects piled on me; I'm expected to do more with no extra time (or pay).  I keep telling myself that it's job security and I can handle anything they throw at me and it's my time to show them just how valuable of an employee I am. :)  Then there is the incredible low morale at work.  It seems that no one is happy - from management all the way down to line staff.  I have so many people  coming to me with their thoughts, concerns and issues - that I feel this overwhelming need to Fix it.  Somehow.  I had a letter drafted to send to the members of the Management Team, but I thought better of it.  Timing is everything and that letter was written after three glasses of wine after a particularly emotional day.  While I haven't hit the Send button, I WILL find a way to convey the concerns of the many who have trusted in me to listen to them.

The title of this post is Feel Alive.  I have to keep reminding myself to Live Each Day- to be present in the moment and not worry about tomorrow.  Tomorrow is going to happy whether I worry about it or not.   So I find things that make me feel good and stress less.   I went for an incredible bike ride yesterday.  I rode 15 miles through the Pipestem and towards my house.  Incredible and beautiful.  The memory of sitting on waters edge enjoying the view will be forever etched in my memories.  I was Alive and in the moment; peaceful is the only way it could be described. Reality did rear it's ugly head later in the day as I visited Ella in the nursing home, but I was more able to handle it because of the peaceful and enjoyable morning that I'd had.