My nephew, Travis Schutt, ended up in the hospital last weekend due to complications from alcoholism. First in Jamestown where we visited him Saturday night. He was detoxing and could hardly breathe. We talked to him as much as we could but he was pretty out of it. Sunday he transferred to Sanford in Fargo to the ICU. His brother, Robert, kept us informed and said they drained 2.5 liters of fluid from the sac around his heart. Not good. I was planning a trip to Fargo with one of my best friends Becky on Sunday afternoon and Monday, so was able to visit with Travis on Monday morning. Thank goodness Becky was understanding when her shopping was cut to just a few hours due to the time that I spent at the hospital with Travis.
The visit started out alright but didn't end well. I turned in to the aunt from hell when he made light of the situation he was in and refused to accept that alcohol played a role in his hospitalization. Travis comes from a line of alcoholics; his grandfather, his uncles, his father. Although Tom and his brother Bill are sober and have been for over 30 years now, Travis' father, Doug, drinks - again (he was sober and started up again within the last 5 years).
Our other nephew, Robert, has been through this with Travis before, although not to this extent. Tom has been in contact with Robert about how to deal with Travis and his addiction but has yet to speak with Travis. I, on the other hand, want to get in Travis' face and make him realize that he cannot do this to his body anymore. The next time he may not be so lucky.
He's transferred to a nursing home here in Jamestown to get stronger with physical and occupational therapy before he can go to the State Hospital for treatment. The sad thing is, there is virtually no family support for him. His mother is on the west coast, his sisters are on the east coast as his is father. The family he has here is Robert, Tom and me (Bill is in AZ dealing with his own health issues).
I've never had to deal with anyone battling alcohol addiction. I'm a fixer...and I want to fix this, him...but I cannot. It's something that he has to do himself.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Friday, February 14, 2014
Valentine's Day
I remember the days of yesteryear when I used to spend weeks designing my Valentine's box. I'd consult with my father on size and materials and what I should say on it. He had the patience of a Saint when I would coerce him in to helping me build the masterpiece. We could be found forehead to forehead with the Elmers Glue, duct tape, wrapping paper or brown bags..whatever was handy.
Mom would stay in the background but was always quick at hand when we needed another opinion. She'd put her two cents in, usually accompanied with popcorn and a cup of hot cocoa, then head back to the kitchen to finish the cupcakes or cookies I'd carry with pride to school the next day.
Mom would sit with me for hours and help me pick out just the right valentine for each of my classmates. She always affirm my decision with a nod of the head or "that would be perfect for her/him". And she was always so interested to see the ones I received in return.
It was a simple time. It was the best of times. The love my parents had for me was amazing.
Today I remember...today I miss those moments...today I love.
Happy Valentine's Day to those in my life.
Saturday, February 8, 2014
Promise Yourself
A very dear friend of mine sent this to me the other day and I absolutely loved it. So much so that I wanted to share it with you.
“Promise Yourself”
to be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.
To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
to be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.
To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Friends
I was invited to a wine party last night at my friend Sarena Ebel's home. It was a wine tasting party put on by Jan of Traveling Vinyards. It was my third party. Apparently everyone knows that I like wine.
It was a small group of ladies; seven of us. We shared some wonderful food that Sarena prepared with the sole purpose of complimenting the wine. It was scrumptious! The food was good too! :)
What was even better was time spent with friends. I got to see Ginny Kleven again and gave her a big hug. She's a wonderful lady who has had some heartache recently in her life. She just lost her sister-in-law to cancer. As she was leaving she told me that her brother Mark isn't doing well. He's down in Texas at the Cancer Center and is to the point of being put in a nursing home as he isn't strong enough to make the trip back home to ND. She cried. All I could do was hold her and tell her that I was here for her whenever she needed me. I felt for her; I will keep her, her brother Mark and the entire Kartes family in my prayers.
Donna, Sarena and I went to The Buff to the farewell party of Julie Montgomery, an educator at JRCC who resigned her position as of Friday. Though I do not know the full reason for her resignation, I suspect there was a lot of internal conflict between Bismarck Central Office and the staff at JRCC. She was good and implemented a lot of good things for the inmates at JRCC. I wish her well.
Donna and I made a quick stop at IDK before I took her home and hit the road myself. For some reason I am getting free XM-Sirus radio - I believe it to be a promotional thing - and I hit on 80's on 8. A perfect way to end an enjoyable evening out with friends - the Journey song "Only The Young" hit the airwaves.
It was a small group of ladies; seven of us. We shared some wonderful food that Sarena prepared with the sole purpose of complimenting the wine. It was scrumptious! The food was good too! :)
What was even better was time spent with friends. I got to see Ginny Kleven again and gave her a big hug. She's a wonderful lady who has had some heartache recently in her life. She just lost her sister-in-law to cancer. As she was leaving she told me that her brother Mark isn't doing well. He's down in Texas at the Cancer Center and is to the point of being put in a nursing home as he isn't strong enough to make the trip back home to ND. She cried. All I could do was hold her and tell her that I was here for her whenever she needed me. I felt for her; I will keep her, her brother Mark and the entire Kartes family in my prayers.
Donna, Sarena and I went to The Buff to the farewell party of Julie Montgomery, an educator at JRCC who resigned her position as of Friday. Though I do not know the full reason for her resignation, I suspect there was a lot of internal conflict between Bismarck Central Office and the staff at JRCC. She was good and implemented a lot of good things for the inmates at JRCC. I wish her well.
Donna and I made a quick stop at IDK before I took her home and hit the road myself. For some reason I am getting free XM-Sirus radio - I believe it to be a promotional thing - and I hit on 80's on 8. A perfect way to end an enjoyable evening out with friends - the Journey song "Only The Young" hit the airwaves.
Saturday, February 1, 2014
My Mother-In-Law
Today was Saturday and mother-in-law day. I picked her up after my yoga class and instantly because concerned. She looked rough and instantly told me she didn't want to go for lunch after grocery shopping.
We did go shopping and I made sure to keep an eye on her in the store; I was never very far away from her. When we got home, I sat with her and we talked for a little while. The truth came out. My mother-in-law, for the first time ever in my presence, broke down and cried.
She is so worried about her sons Bill, Leroy and Doug, as well as her granddaughter Pennie. She worries continually and today it was too much for her. She cried; I cried. I gave her a hug and she just sobbed, "I feel so helpless. I cannot help any one of them."
I felt helpless because I couldn't help her. I held her and shed tears right along with her. I tried to comfort her and tell her that she has to let them lead their own lives and that no one can fix their lives but themselves.
She's a 93 year old lady who shouldn't have to worry about her grown sons and grandchildren.
We did go shopping and I made sure to keep an eye on her in the store; I was never very far away from her. When we got home, I sat with her and we talked for a little while. The truth came out. My mother-in-law, for the first time ever in my presence, broke down and cried.
She is so worried about her sons Bill, Leroy and Doug, as well as her granddaughter Pennie. She worries continually and today it was too much for her. She cried; I cried. I gave her a hug and she just sobbed, "I feel so helpless. I cannot help any one of them."
I felt helpless because I couldn't help her. I held her and shed tears right along with her. I tried to comfort her and tell her that she has to let them lead their own lives and that no one can fix their lives but themselves.
She's a 93 year old lady who shouldn't have to worry about her grown sons and grandchildren.
Family
I had the great fortune of spending time with my sisters Pat, Judy and Peggy and Thursday night. We haven't had the chance to get together in quite some time. We used to get together more often but these days, not so much. and I don't know why really. Pat and Judy are retired but busy with their families, home and Church. Peggy and I work and are equally busy with our lives.
I guess it doesn't matter as long we continue to get together.
I smiled when I walked in saw the three of them sitting at the table, eating popcorn and chicken wings. After the day I had on Thursday, they were exactly what I needed.
We had so much to discuss and so much ground to cover! I don't think any of us came up for air until we were ready to leave! We had good food and drink and covered all the important topics - family, health, weather, family, what we do with our days, family, family, family.
Our mother passed away 20 years ago on the 29th (Wednesday), so we took a moment to remember her, and of course, our father.
We really are quite fortunate that we are all in close proximity of each other - all within a 100 miles - and still relatively healthy. (We won't get on the subject of those aches and pains that keep popping up on us).
My sister Pat is the oldest. She was out of the house raising her family when I was born; there are 21 years between us. When I was younger that used to bother me a lot because she didn't seem like a sister to me. We didn't have all that much in common. But as I've become older we have become closer and I treasure her beyond belief. Of all of my sisters, she reminds me the most of our mother. She loves her family so much and it is that quality that I admire in her the most.
As I sit here and write this, I smile and think about all the good times I have had with my sisters. We may not speak with each other every day, week or month - but when we do get together there is nothing stronger than the bond of sisters.
I love them all so very very much and only wish that I could spend more time with them.
We will make a point of getting together as soon as we can to laugh and be together, as sisters. We need to take advantage of the time we have together.
I guess it doesn't matter as long we continue to get together.
I smiled when I walked in saw the three of them sitting at the table, eating popcorn and chicken wings. After the day I had on Thursday, they were exactly what I needed.
We had so much to discuss and so much ground to cover! I don't think any of us came up for air until we were ready to leave! We had good food and drink and covered all the important topics - family, health, weather, family, what we do with our days, family, family, family.
Our mother passed away 20 years ago on the 29th (Wednesday), so we took a moment to remember her, and of course, our father.
We really are quite fortunate that we are all in close proximity of each other - all within a 100 miles - and still relatively healthy. (We won't get on the subject of those aches and pains that keep popping up on us).
My sister Pat is the oldest. She was out of the house raising her family when I was born; there are 21 years between us. When I was younger that used to bother me a lot because she didn't seem like a sister to me. We didn't have all that much in common. But as I've become older we have become closer and I treasure her beyond belief. Of all of my sisters, she reminds me the most of our mother. She loves her family so much and it is that quality that I admire in her the most.
As I sit here and write this, I smile and think about all the good times I have had with my sisters. We may not speak with each other every day, week or month - but when we do get together there is nothing stronger than the bond of sisters.
I love them all so very very much and only wish that I could spend more time with them.
We will make a point of getting together as soon as we can to laugh and be together, as sisters. We need to take advantage of the time we have together.
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